My Problem With Her Anger By Stelman Summary

Marriage; Fantasy vs. Reality Most marriages are formed when two people love each other and share the same aspirations in life. Once couples are married their views begin to change. They realize that marriage is hard and after having kids it’s even harder. Hope Edelman, in her essay “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to be. How It Was,” feels frustrated with her husband because of his lack of participation in their marriage. On the other hand, Eric Bartels in his essay “My Problem with Her Anger,” is frustrated with his wife because she is angry with him all the time. Though these essays address marriage from both a male and female perspective, they both discuss idealistic views of marriage, lack of communication, blame, and how to fix their problem. Before getting married, both Edelman and Bartels have an idealized view of marriage. Edelman imagines it being split perfectly down the middle. She would contribute half the income and half the
Edelman’s husband promises her in their wedding vows to be her “partner at home and in life,” but they “stopped feeling like a team” (190). He breaks his promises to her. He works 90 hours a week which leaves him no time to help around the house. As a result, she is trying to contribute to the income, cook, clean the house, and run their child around. She becomes the dominant parent, and she is angry (188). Edelman’s marriage has become exactly what she did not want; she has become her parents. Bartels is also dissatisfied. He says they should have known what they were getting themselves into, but he “thinks we missed the some of the small print” (197). He feels that he cannot do anything right. His cooking does not satisfy her; he does not wash clothes the right way; he cannot even load the dishwasher correctly. Bartels does not receive credit for the work that he does; instead, his wife lashes out for no reason