Nirvan The Most Important Rituals In Buddhist Culture

There are many rituals in the Buddhist culture, but there was one that caught my attention. Death rituals are considered the most important ritual in the Buddhist culture. Many of the rituals are lost but many are still practiced today. When a person passes on, they would need to reach nirvana to continue their cycle of life. Concentrated in Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, this derived Buddhist culture believes that a person might not have reached the intended enlightenment to carry on the cycle and someone from their immediate family can help them reach nirvana. To do so, they must become a monk and special requirements are made to ensure the family member will help the passing of nirvana correctly. I will explore the delicate steps into becoming a monk and sharing my personal experience of giving offerings to a deceased family member.
Many families have different requirements for choosing the right monk for their family.
Some families will only want their sons to carry the tradition and some will only choose their daughters, but typically the son will do the offering. The body of the deceased must be cremated at a temple and your offering must be made there. The person undergoing this procedure must shave off all their hair and eye brows. This is symbolic to becoming a traditional monk and a sense of simplicity. You cannot eat the entire day and the monks choose how long the offering will last. It can last from a day to a week and during that time you’re not allowed to eat. During the offering, the monks will undress you and you’re not allowed to do it yourself. They will then put on a special white robe that represents purity and rebirth. You are not allowed to touch the robe or take it off because your hands are too dirty for something so pure and monks are only allowed to do
so.
You will continue the offering by giving food to the specified alter for your family. As you give these offerings, you are to chant a verse. The chanting can last anywhere from an hour to two hours and if you happen to lose your place in the chant, you are to start all over again. My cousin who has gone through the process said, “You can’t mess up, you’re in a trance and you keep going and before you know it, you’re done.” The chanting is believed to help lift the soul of the dead and continue onto reincarnation or their next step in life. After the ceremony, you will reunite with your family and to never speak of the ceremony. The ceremony is deemed sacred that is only for you, the dead, and the monks to witness. This symbolizes the essence of the purity of the process. I hope I will never have to undergo this process but I know it’s inevitable and my time will come sooner or later. I had the chance to interview my grandma and she told me I could make an offering to my grandpa that has passed away many years ago. We visited the San Jose Cambodian Buddhist temple. This was a simple offering but special because it was from a family member and certain steps are needed to be taken for this offering. Anyone can give an offering but for me to reach my grandpa on a personal level, I had to undertake a different procedure. The minute my grandma told the monks what I’m here to do, they rushed away to gather and prepare for the ceremony. My grandma said, “Don’t talk unless you’re spoken to. Do whatever they want you to do and keep your mind free.” I was scared and excited at the same time. I had no idea what I got myself into. They took me to a room where two monks started to take my clothes off. I wanted to say something but remembered what my grandma said. They began to chant and took a bright white robe from another room and dressed me. I knew I couldn’t touch the robe either. I then took twenty steps to the altar, which symbolizes the journey I must take to reach my grandpa. Every year that passes, you are then to take more steps to reach the person. When I reached the altar, there was a monk chanting and I had to jump in without disturbing his chanting and we must synchronize as one. We must chant as one or else my offering will never reach my grandpa. I was so nervous because before the ceremony, I practiced the chant, and I couldn’t get it done right. But as soon as I reached the monk during the ceremony, I felt as everything fell into place and nothing could go wrong. After everything was done, I left the room and saw my grandma. My grandma said, “I’m so proud of you and you bring peace to our family”. She gave me a hug and that was the first time my grandma has ever given me a hug in my lifetime. This experience has changed my life. I now feel a deeper connection to my family and especially to my grandma. I never took my life for granted and know life is short on any given day. But this experience has put my beliefs into a new level of understanding. I’m more calm and aware of everything that goes around me, and I rather enjoy the day than to have the little things ruin it. Life is short, and anger and despair should never be part of it. It was special for me because I was never into the Buddhist culture, but it has opened my eyes to the religion. I believe these intricate and delicate procedures in death rituals are ways to help people move on and give an alternative option to grieving. My grandma tells me, after any family’s death ritual, the family will have moved on and will not dwell from the death of the family member. I find this extremely interesting because typically it can take someone years to get over a person’s death and to just move on in a day must take a lot of will power. “It is believed that the soul is in a state of confusion and fright after exiting the body. The monk is needed to calm the soul.” (Keo Mony). This is the true purpose for the monk, to calm the soul and to bring the soul onto the next step of their life cycle. I will never forget this experience and will definitely go back to give more offerings to my grandpa.