Pastor's Kid Satire

Most people spend a majority of their lives trying to figure out who they are; as a teenager, it’s one of the biggest struggles we face. And as someone who is adopted, it’s an even bigger struggle. I’ve spent the past four and a half years trying to figure out who I am...where I come from. And even still, I only have half a story. Other than being adopted, some may label me as a pastor’s daughter. Others might say I’m just some rebellious kid. The only people who know me as all three, are close friends and family. But of course, knowing me better than everyone else, they see me in a lot of other ways as well. I was adopted by the time I was one. I wasn’t even aware that i was adopted until I was seven, and part of me wishes I was never
told because from that point on, everything has gotten more and more confusing. Too many untold stories, too many unanswered questions, too many lies. Both of my birth parents were drug addicts- my mom was a meth addict, and my biological “dad” was a heroine addict. I’ve had a relationship with my mom since I was twelve, (I’m not even sure if relationship is the word to use) and I never and I never knew my birth dad; he committed suicide when I was eleven- heroine overdose, go figure. All I know about him is that his family came from old money, he was a murderer, and a Class A douche bag. My birth mom suffered a lot because of him, and my oldest brother said the only good thing my biological dad did was make me and my brother. The whole situation is entirely messed up, and like I said, I only have half of a story. The rest is a jigsaw puzzle with a bunch of pieces missing. There’s no other known family on my birth dad’s side so that’s kind of how it will always be. It’s It’s frustrating because I feel like there’s a part of me that I’ll never know. As for living with my adopted family, I’ve grown up in church my whole life.
I’ve missed maybe five Sunday mornings since I was a baby. My parents are very religious and live by the morals and beliefs of the bible. Some may disagree , but especially when you’re not sure where you place your beliefs. Being a pastor’s kid, your life is full of contradictions and judgement. People say, “pastors kids are the worst”, yet they have all of these high expectations of you. People who aren’t Christians wait for you to mess up, only to prove a point of their view on Christianity and on God. Some expect you to be a saint- an “example”- others expect a wild child. I’m sure you can guess which road I’m on. I started straying away from my parent’s beliefs about a year and a half ago. I guess I just got tired of God being shoved at me from all directions. I got sick of people ignoring my feelings. Instead of listening and trying to see where I was coming from, my feelings got pushed aside and the only advice I got was to ask God to fix my problems. Instead of going to God, I blamed God. If you were to ask me where my belief stands, or what morals I have in Christianity, I wouldn’t have an answer. Trying to decide where I place my belief has been the biggest struggle I’ve ever faced in
life.