Pebble Stoned

Conflict/Plot

Conflicts, there's not much in this story. Chapter Lost marks the start of the conflicts. She felt pain, and everything went back to being black and white. It's an interesting conflict. In chapter Laid Down, the conflict about Marcus was intriguing. Well done. Even the problem in chapter Syndrome was good. The plot was okay. You established how much Tyler and Clara loved each other. Chapter Brunch didn't have any significance to move the plot. Although, it did give us a bit of information that could be shown in various ways instead of just telling the readers through a conversation. But then again, it could have just been merged with the next chapter which is chapter Lost. I found the development in chapter Denial as unbelievable. You
We wouldn't want the readers to interpret she's seeing only one color. Correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't it be just "pebble stone path" rather than "Pebble stoned path"? Pebble is actually a small stone, so saying pebble stoned doesn't really follow. Check for nonparallel sentence structures. Disregarding the suggestion in pacing and continuity, the sentence "The pebble stone path... filled the air" isn't parallel. It should be "The pebble stoned path felt great as she walked, the breeze flowed through her hair and the smell of freshly baked bread filled the air". Since you used past tense in the sentence, stick with past tense (felt, flowed and filled). It's not grammatically wrong to use colour/s or color/s. But it would be better to use color/s since you've used it first. Just for consistency. It might just be me, but it's just a minor detail. Check for tenses. One example is in chapter Clara. It should be "... so fast that Mrs. Clampton even