Personal Journey

What is the real purpose of living, if you are unwilling to take any uncalculated risks? These “risks” can range from something as simple as sampling a new food, or something as bold as skydiving. Some people are natural risk takers; they live without fear and have no reservations when it comes to failure. Personally, I have never been much of risk-taker. In fact, I have lived a majority of my life in a very planned, deliberate and some may even say a very boring manner. Now that I am bit older I find myself at one of life’s critical crossing points. The question now is if I am going to stay firmly planted in my seat or use my parachute.
For the last 15 years there has been one constant in my life – the inability to fully commit to any one thing, person or idea. On the surface that may sound as if I was not totally committed in relationships, but that could not be further from the truth. I was very faithful when it came to my relationships, whether personal or in business. I was just unable to allow myself to open up fully to the idea that one (person or company) could be totally faithful; so there was always a level of trepidation on my part. I will say that I never lost faith that happiness in relationships did exist, I just figured it was meant for everyone - except for me. Having married very early (which obviously did not go as planned), also played a very critical role in the shaping of my perspective. It was always much safer to stay within the walls of me. Not allowing things to get past a certain point, and if they did – there was little hesitation in lacing up the track shoes and running away as fast as humanly possible.
Now, as I find myself at the end of my 30’s and with 40 rapidly approaching, I can honestly say that I am finished running. I have reached a point in life where I can finally say that I am truly tired. I have grown tired of choosing to be the single guy in the group; or worse, the “movie buddy”, “meal mate (food friend)” or “happy-hour