Personal Narrative Essay: Is Cancer A Victim Or Survivor?

Cancer; defined as “any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively.” To most, cancer is an imprisoning disease victimizing innocent people who don’t deserve to go through the suffering that cancer prescribes. To me, however, it was just a word. Without a warning, my grandpa, was diagnosed, just like that, with lung cancer of all things. Contrary to my brother and sister, I didn’t understand the significance of cancer. Everyone I had ever known with cancer had been a survivor, not a victim. When I found out Gidu was diagnosed, I thought would be everything would be ok. This was the not the case.
From the start, I knew things were going to be different. How different, I wasn’t quite sure. That’s why I started to do some research. I thought
I would laugh every time I thought about the fact that I would never talk to him, or hear his voice again, and did I have a say in anything, was I informed about anything, no. Once the idea really started to sink in, the idea that he was gone, I decided to get mad. And not just mad, but infuriated; furious with the doctors... furious with myself, just flat out enraged. However, the person I was really irritated with, was God. I believed in Him all my life; I always went to church, I prayed all the time and I had never done anything to him, so how could He do this to me. I would try to talk to God, but every time I did, I just got more and more disgusted. “What did I ever do to you?” I yelled at God. “He was my best friend and you just took him away from me! How could you!?” I was the second to last person to see my grandfather alive, so no warning of his passing made smoke come out of my ears like birds flew from trees. Then, I felt like a complete fool.
God does not hate me. In fact, He loves me unconditionally. That is why looking back now, at my behavior then, makes me feel terrible about my actions. If God would not have taken Gidu home, he would be stuck here, suffering through pain, chemo, and sleepless nights. Even though my life would be made much better with Gidu around today, looking at the big picture, I’m glad I spent the time I did with him, because there is no way, as much as I love him, that I would want him to suffer more than he already has. Besides, if he were here, I would not have a guardian angel looking out for me in