Personal Narrative: My Vacation To Hawaii

BOONTON, N.J., -- During Christmastime in 2006, Toniann Ruja took a 10-day dream vacation to Hawaii with her husband and two daughters who were both in elementary school.
“Both my husband at the time and I had a steady income, and we had been waiting for the financial opportunity for a trip like this,” Ruja said as she sat at the kitchen table of her quaint townhouse that she bought four years ago, during her divorce.
Within a year, Ruja’s husband lost both his trucking company and his income.
Nearly 10 years later, Ruja is a 60-year-old single mother who is struggling to support her children on one income of $65,000. Her now ex-husband has not had a job for eight years and does not financially contribute, according to Ruja.
Since Ruja’s ex-husband
did not have an income when they divorced, she would be required to pay him alimony so he could maintain his lifestyle. In return, he would have to pay her child support, since Ruja took full custody of her kids.
The end result was that neither Ruja, nor her ex-husband would pay each other anything once the divorce was settled.
“I did not want to have to write a check with his name on it every month,” Ruja said, explaining that the alimony and child support would have similar value.
According to bankrate.com, divorce is the second most common reason for debt in the United States, a reality that Ruja has been dealing with since her “brutal divorce” in 2012.
“In the long run, it’s hard to think about. I may be in debt forever,” Ruja said.
The money trouble truly began with her daughters’ catholic school tuition that she maintained to pay after the family split up, and Ruja moved with her two daughters from Parsippany to Boonton, New Jersey.
“It would have been unfair of me to completely up-and-move them to a different town and a different school,” Ruja said about her two girls staying in such an expensive school, even when she was in debt. “I did not want to jeopardize their education because I was having money problems.”
This decision did not come without its consequences.
Ruja recalled having to call and ask the principal for an extension on her tuition bill during her youngest daughter, Erica’s, senior year of high school.
“It wasn’t like a college tuition bill where you take out loans and pay it in full,” Ruja said, stating that she owed $1,000 every month for each of her children. “It was a huge monthly expense.”
According to Erica, Ruja is very headstrong when it comes to making the family change their lifestyle.
“She always wants us to have everything we would have if my dad was in the picture,” said Erica, a sophomore studying psychology at James Madison University.
Erica works 35 hours a week at a restaurant near her school to pay for her rent and food in addition to being a fulltime student.
Standing five feet tall, Ruja looks much younger than sixty with short brown hair and wide brown eyes. Wearing a t-shirt that she stole from her daughter and jeans, her family is strikingly similar both in resemblance and personality.
“They are very mature for their age,” Ruja said, while talking about Brianna and Erica. “They thing logically and do what is best in the long run.”
This showed when Brianna, a junior at Montclair State University in New Jersey, came back from attending school in Florida to be closer to home and commute to a cheaper school.
“It was the right decision,” said Brianna, who barely reaches five feet tall and has short curly hair.
She is taking 16 credits this semester, in addition to a fulltime internship for a company that has already offered her a job when she graduates next December. She also works at a restaurant on the weekends. “Montclair is cheaper and I can help my mom around the house. I’m also closer to my sister, which is good in case she needs anything.”
Even with help from her kids, Ruja continues to struggle.
“Since I’ve racked up a decent amount of debt, its becoming much harder, almost impossible, for me to get loans,” Ruja said about the tens of thousands of dollars of debt she is in.
As a manager for a small family-run steel business, her salary alone makes it difficult to pay for college loans in addition to the bills she already has. Ruja has considered getting a second job, but Brianna and Erica always object when she mentions it, saying they could contribute more.
This means Erica, a 20-year-old who already works almost fulltime at a restaurant, will have to take on an extra $30,000 of debt than the family originally anticipated, according to Ruja.
Erica said that, while it is a setback, it does not bother her. She knows that her mother and sister are doing what they can to make it easier, and sees this as her way of
contributing.
With all of the obstacles that this family encounters, neither Brianna nor Erica speaks to their father anymore.
“He could help us out, but he doesn’t,” Brianna said, explaining their father has not looked for a job since his business failed. “That says something about who is.”
Ruja is upset that her two daughters do not have a relationship with their father, but says she completely understands.
The thing Ruja is most grateful for is Brianna and Erica, saying she would not be where she is without them.
“I obviously never expected or wanted this for my kids or family,” Ruja said as she played with the empty coffee cup in her hands. “You do what you can with what you got. I could not have asked for better people to go through this with, and for that I am incredibly appreciative.”