Personal Narrative-Oakwood Scholarship

Oakwood Scholarship
My hard times in high school weren't necessarily tragic ones. My struggle is one that many people will deal with in their lives, and one that I believe is possible to change by just altering your lifestyle. I, and many others, have struggled with a mental illness.
My first encounter with this problem was freshman year. Out of the blue, I was shaking uncontrollably, everyone telling me to “just breath”, but I couldn't seem to find any air in my lungs. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital with a needle in my arm, and a doctor telling me it was only a panic attack. In my dazed state I wondered how this could be true. How could something that felt like I was dying be only a panic attack? I never saw myself as an anxious person and knew nothing about these attacks, but I would soon find out everything about them.
The year following was filled with fear, frustration, and confusion.
I would go from a relaxed state hanging out on the couch to a crippled mess on the floor, struggling to find my breath. I would get so worked up that I would hyperventilate, unconscious ten minutes later, or in the bathroom vomiting. This happened about three times a week and I felt absolutely helpless. Having no control of my body struck fear in me that I had never felt before. To avoid this fear I tried to keep myself safe by going to school less, and just doing less with my life all together. I no longer was interested in being around people and studying for school was hard to focus on. My grades slipped from A’s to barely passing. I was prescribed medication, but it never seemed to work and made me feel like a walking zombie. I began to feel like a lost
cause.
One day I felt I needed to do something, or my life would be in shambles soon enough. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and decided to face the problem head on. I figured that maybe changing my lifestyle, both mentally and physically, would help me cope with my anxiety. I no longer denied going out with friends, and after I learned to be comfortable around new people, I had a great time doing so. I worked hard to keep a positive mindset, even in stressful times. Learning breathing exercises helped reduce my stress levels, and I stopped caring what others thought so much. These things alone reduced my anxiety levels. I learned to love the body I was born in, and found a love of reading and working out. I completely changed my mindset, and I was proud that I freed myself from the chains of my own burdens. I finally found self-love, and eliminated all self-hate.
Two years ago I would have never imagined that I’d be able to have a job or do well in school. Now what I thought was impossible for me has become possible. I no longer suffer weekly panic attacks, and I now know that my future will be bright. I am more confident than ever in myself, and plan to go to college to become a dental hygienist. I know college will be challenging, but I am ready to face this challenge, and I no longer worry about my future as much. Just a simple change of lifestyle helped me realize that anxiety is just one little tree in a whole forest, and i'm ready to explore the whole forest.