Proud You PRUP Play Analysis

DID YOU PRENUP is presented as a romantic comedy. The script explores themes about trust and abandonment, as well as examines the moral choices and consequences that come with the responsibility of money.
Essentially, “money” and a prenuptial agreement becomes the driving force in the script that creates a wedge between the two core characters.
While there are definitely elements to like about this script and the characters, overall the script would benefit from more development in the areas of the goal, the structure or series of events, and the tone, as well as further character development.
The story opens when the two main characters meet. However, unfortunately, the opening is a bit confusing. They are meeting for a business reason that is not
explained. Suddenly they go from a meeting to nine months later and they are engaged and in love. One problem with this is that the audience never really gets to see them falling in love and there’s no true romance. So when Martin proposes to Kaiden, the audience isn’t convinced yet that they are in love.
One reason the audience isn’t convinced that they are in love is because they don’t share strong chemistry with each other. Chemistry is created by crafting conflict with attraction. While there’s some conflict, unfortunately, the attractive never feels authentic.
The other issue that is never resolved is why he was engaged to Claire and why they broke up. Martin seems to jump from once relationship to another making him less likable. The idea of Claire doesn’t really drive the story forward or add to the plot. Consider eliminating this.
Consider, reworking the opening. Create a stronger introduction for both characters and craft stronger chemistry. Convince the audience they belong together.
Also in the first act, set up more effectively Martin’s job and foreshadow possible financial issues with his job.
The main inciting event is when Martin is pressured to have Kaiden sign a prenup. Move this event up a bit sooner as the pace in the first act feels slow. For example, elements of the basketball game slow the pace.
The main hook is the prenup and winning the lottery, so it would benefit the script to get to these events as soon as possible. Also, make sure to set up the idea of Martin’s wallet for the payoff later when he sues Kaiden for using his wallet/money to purchase the ticket.
In the second act it’s very challenging to like Martin. Thus, because the audience doesn’t like Martin, it’s difficult to root for them as a couple. One has to wonder why Kaiden would love Martin based on his behavior. It can work, but in order for it to work, once again, the chemistry has to be stronger. One consideration is to make the characters more like the characters in the WAR OF ROSES and create a dark comedy.
The court hearing and court decision make for a good midpoint event. This should really drive them apart, yet, at the same time there has to be those moments between them where their vulnerability shows and the audience knows they really love each other.
The other concern about the second act is that it suddenly seems to focus more on Martin, his family, and his business rather than keeping the focus on Martin and Kaiden. The story begins to feel more like Martin’s story rather than Kaiden’s story, yet the opening makes it feels like Kaiden’s story. Thus, select the main character and make sure the story is mainly told through their point of view. If Kaiden is the core character make sure she drives the plot and make sure she has something at stake and at risk.
The second act’s structure feels a bit fragmented rather than focused. This is because the goal hasn’t been well defined. One assumes that the goal is love and that the goal is for Martin and Kaiden to find their way back to each other, although this is not always clear. There doesn’t feel like there’s any other external goal. The structure tends to jump from being about the lottery to the court hearing, to Martin’s job, and then to Kaiden’s pregnancy. Try to create a more cohesive structure.
Consider focusing on Kaiden wanting to start her own business and finally being able to because of the money and this competes with Martin’s business. This may give the story more focus.
The idea of Kaiden buying Martin’s business in the end is her moral sacrifice, but it would work more effectively if the audience understood exactly what she was giving up for Martin. So, if her business is highlighted more effectively and it’s her dream, giving it up will create stronger personal conflict and tension.
The idea of the pregnancy is a bit predictable and it’s not really fully developed. Suddenly she’s pregnant. The reaction of Martin learning about the baby isn’t shown and he acts too calm about the idea of her wanting an abortion.
The ending with Kaiden running into her biological mother, unfortunately, feels too contrived and convenient, and not very authentic. It just adds to the fragmented feel of the structure.
The other area of the script to discuss is the tone. The script is presented as a romantic comedy, but the tone doesn’t always fit with a comedy. It’s not a laugh-out-loud type of comedy and actually the story turns very dark. This includes the scenes with Martin and the gun, as he considering killing himself. A lot of the family scenes are not considered humorous.
There are some gay jokes, but they also don’t generate laughs. The idea of Kaiden spooning with her brother actually feels awkward versus humorous.
The best comedy is organic. Physical and visual comedy, as well as humor derived from the flaws of the characters works well too. Thus, reconsider the tone. As mentioned, the script might be more effective as a dark comedy that highlights sardonic humor.
In addition, there’s a strong tendency to tell or explain thoughts and feelings of characters rather than showing it. This is pointed out in the PDF notes. Remember, the viewing audience can only see what’s visually on the screen or what is spoken. There’s no way they can understand thoughts or feelings unless verbally or visually conveyed. So, on page 2 when Kaiden and Martin meet the narrative description “their eyes find a history together that words can’t compel. And when their hands touch for the first time, something leaps from within their souls as if expecting nothing and finding everything,” isn’t relevant. This works in a novel, but not in a screenplay. It also hinders the pace.
Continue to develop the characters. Kaiden has an intriguing backstory about being adopted. Her backstory creates her inner struggle with the issues of trust and abandonment. She has a tough exterior that hides her vulnerability.
However, find and develop her comedic beats. Create stronger witty one-liners. She seems to be the type of character that would be cynical and sarcastic. At the end she learns to trust.
Martin also has family and trust issues.
However, this dominates too much of the script, especially near the end. He’s not always likable, especially when he sues his own wife. It can work if the tone is more like WAR OF THE ROSES. Right now, he’s selfish and he becomes much to dark (the gun). It’s challenging to understand what Kaiden sees in Martin. It’s not really clear what he learns at the end.
Martin’s father and his stepmother fill the role of the antagonist, but they are a bit inconsistent and one-dimensional. They can create stronger obstacles more consistently.
Martin’s mother, Susan, begins to sound too much like Helen. Consider eliminating some of these characters. For example, is there really a need for Susan? Can the story be told without her? If so, cut her.
Solomon appears to be the comic relief, but in reality he really doesn’t add to the plot. The story can be told without him as currently structured.
Emma isn’t a strong character until near the end. Then she’s used as the mentor to provide insight. Some of this is fine, but remember the characters also have to gain their own insight into their issues. They have to resolve their own inner struggles before they can accomplish their external
goal.
The dialogue features strength and weaknesses. The voices of the characters are consistent with their personalities. However, make sure all dialogue sounds purposeful. Eliminate unnecessary conversations (examples pages 10,36).
Overall, the tension or comedic tension has room for further development. As mentioned, create stronger and clearer stakes for Kaiden and convince the audience that Kaiden and Martin belong together. Don’t make it easy for them to find their way back to each other.

Consider following the classic romantic comedy structure. The characters are challenged by love and are resistant to love. They fall in love but then are pulled apart by a deceit or misunderstanding and have to find their way back to each other.
The professional presentation can be polished. As mentioned, there’s a tendency to tell and explain versus show. There are some formatting errors. For example, if this is a spec script, there’s no need for scene numbers. There are some typos too (missing periods etc.).
HIGHLIGHTS TO CONSIDER
Rework the opening.
Create stronger chemistry.
Make sure the main protagonist drives the story, such as Kaiden.
Focus the script more effectively. For example, Kaiden wanting her own business and competes with Martin.
Eliminate non-essential characters and scenes (Claire, Destiny etc.)
Enhance the pace.
Create more tension that builds to the third act.
Create a consistent tone.
Show, don’t tell or explain.
Elevate the comedy style.

SUMMARY & MARKETING
Romantic comedies are not as popular or marketable as they once were. To be successful they have to have a strong hook and compelling characters.
The target audience is mainstream.
See grid below.