Reality Therapy Paper
Bias is one of the biggest concerns in psychotherapy of all types. It is impractical to believe that our own life experiences will not effect the way that we counsel our clients and view their behavior. In fact, often times the style of therapy we choose to use is derived from an agreement with the different theories of personality formation. For example, if we believe that our experience in early childhood speaks volumes about who we are today, we may identify with the psychoanalytic theory and use its techniques in our counseling method. Beyond specific theories, however, all counselors form their own opinions about why people come to behave the way they do. For me, I believe that childhood experiences can explain much of current behavior.
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Many of the reasons why we are the way that we are were learned in during childhood. However, people have a tendency to rely on the explanation of why we are the way that we are as a crutch for not changing present behavior, as we see in psychoanalytic theory. Instead, I agree with Adler when he said, “people are both the producer and the product of his environment.” Behavior is not static, it can be changed. As counselors we all have to have this core belief, or we would all begin to question what the point of our profession truly is. I believe that we make choices to behave in unhealthy ways, most often by listening to “insane” thoughts that come to mind. I think that the ABC theory explains much of behavior, in that it is not the activating event that causes consequences, but in fact one’s own flawed belief system. Additionally, I believe that people are motivated by two major factors '' fear and love. Often we can discover our worldview through the phrases we use. My most commonly used phrase is, “Everything happens for a reason”, and “This too shall pass.” For that reason I believe that people often chose, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, to be mentally ill or stay in an unhealthy state of mind, and that since there is meaning and purpose in everything, and one can grow to be a stronger person because of it. The thought process outlined above also speaks to what type of counseling I would find to be the most effective. We cannot help but be effected by our past. Most unhealthy behavior has its roots in childhood experiences, and often this shapes the way we think about ourselves and the world. I value Adler’s research on birth order, and think where one falls in the family constellation can be the first inclinations of one’s future personality. As a middle child, I certainly fit the description of the peacemaker who tries to hold the family together, but I also have the more negative symptoms of feelings of unfairness, and went through my “problem child” phase more than either of my siblings. As the second child I felt like I was constantly running after my sister, trying to catch up. As the eldest and first born, she tends to be a bit more distant, and is the hardworking, determined one in the family which is common of the firstborn. My brother, the youngest, is of course the most pampered, and so has grown up with a sense of entitlement in life. Other factors that can have an effect on personality and behavior that stems from childhood can include ideas of gender roles imparted by one’s parents, cultural influences and expectations about how one should behave, relationships with siblings, parents, friends and teachers, in addition to how one experienced discipline from one’s parents, and the nature of the relationship between one’s parents. As we move through our early life we develop certain thought patterns, and often it is these faulty thought patterns that causes unhealthy behaviors. In this sense we see that while our childhood experiences are important to look at in terms of where and how these kinds of cognitions were established, it is in the present moment that we must learn to change the way that we think. I look to the ABC theory to understand unhealthy behaviors. The ABC theory has three components '' the Activating event, one’s Belief system, and the Consequence of our behavior. The theory tells us that it is not A that causes C, but B that causes C. For example, if one is in a depressive state after a parent’s divorce, it is not the divorce that caused the depression, instead, it is one’s belief system about the divorce and oneself, such as believing that s/he is the cause of the divorce, and this is what causes the depression. This kind of thinking will follow us throughout our life, and we will be plagued by feelings of guilt which will manifest itself in a variety of ways. Until the faulty thought process, or belief system, is changed, we will continue to feel its effects. Ellis and Beck have created therapy styles designed to target these kinds of faulty thinking mechanisms, which I will address later in this paper. I believe in motivational factors as well, and think there are two key motivators that people experience in life, fear and love. We follow these motivators to no end to achieve a sense of homeostasis in our lives, a sense of normalcy. We work hard to ensure that we are experiencing love from others, and work towards experiencing a sense of loving someone or something enough to make life seem worthwhile. Similarly, fear is what drives us away, and discourages us from attempting new behaviors and encourages our unhealthy behaviors. Most behaviors can be explained by these motivators, either by the discouragement of one or the encouragement of another. My thoughts here are somewhat similar to Glasser’s choice theory, in that all humans have a few essential basic “needs”. Choice theory tells us that every behavior is our best attempt to get what we want to satisfy our needs. It also tells us that behavior is purposeful because it is our attempt to “close the gap” between what we want and what we think we are getting. He explains that even depressive states are a choice, in that even though it is not the most effective behavior, it is an attempt to get what we feel we need out of our environment. If we tie this in with the idea that behavior is learned from a young age, a child who is told by his parents that he is an excellent artist, in effort to please them and to make them love him more may be motivated to become an artist. Similarly, if a female child is discouraged from playing with trucks and being a tomboy from a young age, she becomes fearful of the consequences of unfeminine behavior. A coping mechanism here can play out if she chooses to be motivated by fear, and continues to try to seek the love of her parents by not allowing any unfeminine behavior, or she can be motivated by fear and act out by “trying on” another gender role. So if we are motivated by fairly simple factors, how would we as therapists attempt to change one’s behavior?
Again, I believe it has to do with faulty thinking. All behaviors can be changed. Since my worldview centers on faulty thinking as the basis for unhealthy behavior, I would turn to the cognitive therapy styles when counseling a client as the most effective way to “cure” unhealthy cognitions. I also tend to incorporate Reality therapy into my counseling style, in that I believe it is important to stress the idea that the only person you can control is yourself. You cannot control or change the behaviors of others, so it is up to us to make the changes in ourselves and our lives if we want our lives to be different. Reality therapy also stresses the idea of choice '' people choose to behave in certain ways. I believe it is often their faulty cognitive structures that lead them to believe that the behavior being played out is the best way to get what they want, but there is a matter of choice. The Reality therapist then stresses to the client that the consequences of the action, and the responsibility of the action, belong to the client. It may be difficult for the client to believe that they are making a choice to be depressed, but until they are able to change their faulty motivating cognitive structure they will …show more content…
continue to experience the depression.
Regarding the past, I like the Reality therapist’s mantra, “What has happened is over, it can’t be changed. The more time we spend looking back, the more we avoid looking forward.” This seems to jive well with my idea of, “This too shall pass” '' I understand that time and patience is required to change faulty cognitions and unhealthy behaviors, but I think it is important to remind our clients that in time, everything will pass, and for that reason, we must keep moving forward and looking to the future. We take what we can from each faltering step, learn what we can from it, and try to keep moving forward. What I also like about this style of therapy is the importance of rapport with one’s client. I agree that only when a client feels comfortable with a therapist, and feels that s/he can trust her therapist, that we can expect changes to occur. Also important in Realty therapy is instilling hope in the client, that no matter how bad things get, they are no longer alone and change is possible. In terms of cognitive therapies, Ellis’ traditional REBT seems to be an effective tool. The basic idea of REBT is to identify and dispute irrational thoughts that we consistently repeat and
self-indoctrinate throughout our lives. REBT teaches the client how to recognize these thoughts and replace them with more effective and rational cognitions. The therapist challenges the client to put him/herself into uncomfortable situations to see what kinds of thoughts arise, and to apply new thinking mechanisms in place of unhealthy cognitions. Therapy is seen as an educational process, which is an aspect of this therapy that attracts me. Ellis also believes that we need to take responsibility for our own actions, that we need to stop blaming others and learn to accept (and I would add love) ourselves despite our imperfections. I diverge from Ellis in that he believes that developing a relationship with the client is unnecessary. Since the therapist is the teacher and the client is the student, Ellis thinks that forming a rapport is frivolous. I believe that the client first needs to be understood and respected before we can begin to have the necessary trust to begin to challenge his/her unhealthy cognitions. Often the relationship established with one’s therapist is the first positive human-to-human connection they have ever experienced. To discount the importance of the relationship, then, I think is faulty. However, I do like cognitive therapy because the client is made to feel that they have an active role in the process, therapy is more than just getting one’s “head shrunk” if you will, but they are actually making an active attempt to change their behavior. Giving client homework means that they are going out and putting into practice what they are “learning”. If we think about the key motivators in one’s life, love and fear, the positive encouragement one receives from his/her therapist could be what they need to strive to change. Wanting to change and actually trying to change are two very different things, and I think the key piece here would be the relationship between the therapist and the client. I also place a lot of value in the role that chemistry plays in psychology. Many kinds of serious psychosis have their roots in a client’s brain chemistry. A failure to produce certain hormones, such as dopamine, can have a powerful affect on both mood and behavior. I am extremely wary of the trend in psychology today to overprescribe anti-psychotic drugs to patients, however. I think that we need to exhaust all other therapeutic routes before prescribing anything, and even once a drug is prescribed, I think it is extremely important to keep up regular visits with a therapist in hopes of learning new coping mechanisms, new thought processes, new motivators, while taking these anti-psychotic drugs. It pains me to think how many people feel that they are dependant on drugs that they may not need, however, I do think there are many, many people who have been helped by them. Keeping an open mind in this profession is key. While we all have our ideas about the why people behave the way that they do, it is important to let the client tell you what they think first, and to listen with an open ear and an open mind. With that in mind, I like to think that my worldview is mostly positive. I like to think that all humans are basically good, and more often than not strive to do good things. It is when we are motivated by fear, and begin to develop unhealthy thought patterns, that we begin to falter, and this shows itself in our behaviors. With counseling, it is possible to change almost anything and I look forward to the opportunity to help my clients.
Many of the reasons why we are the way that we are were learned in during childhood. However, people have a tendency to rely on the explanation of why we are the way that we are as a crutch for not changing present behavior, as we see in psychoanalytic theory. Instead, I agree with Adler when he said, “people are both the producer and the product of his environment.” Behavior is not static, it can be changed. As counselors we all have to have this core belief, or we would all begin to question what the point of our profession truly is. I believe that we make choices to behave in unhealthy ways, most often by listening to “insane” thoughts that come to mind. I think that the ABC theory explains much of behavior, in that it is not the activating event that causes consequences, but in fact one’s own flawed belief system. Additionally, I believe that people are motivated by two major factors '' fear and love. Often we can discover our worldview through the phrases we use. My most commonly used phrase is, “Everything happens for a reason”, and “This too shall pass.” For that reason I believe that people often chose, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, to be mentally ill or stay in an unhealthy state of mind, and that since there is meaning and purpose in everything, and one can grow to be a stronger person because of it. The thought process outlined above also speaks to what type of counseling I would find to be the most effective. We cannot help but be effected by our past. Most unhealthy behavior has its roots in childhood experiences, and often this shapes the way we think about ourselves and the world. I value Adler’s research on birth order, and think where one falls in the family constellation can be the first inclinations of one’s future personality. As a middle child, I certainly fit the description of the peacemaker who tries to hold the family together, but I also have the more negative symptoms of feelings of unfairness, and went through my “problem child” phase more than either of my siblings. As the second child I felt like I was constantly running after my sister, trying to catch up. As the eldest and first born, she tends to be a bit more distant, and is the hardworking, determined one in the family which is common of the firstborn. My brother, the youngest, is of course the most pampered, and so has grown up with a sense of entitlement in life. Other factors that can have an effect on personality and behavior that stems from childhood can include ideas of gender roles imparted by one’s parents, cultural influences and expectations about how one should behave, relationships with siblings, parents, friends and teachers, in addition to how one experienced discipline from one’s parents, and the nature of the relationship between one’s parents. As we move through our early life we develop certain thought patterns, and often it is these faulty thought patterns that causes unhealthy behaviors. In this sense we see that while our childhood experiences are important to look at in terms of where and how these kinds of cognitions were established, it is in the present moment that we must learn to change the way that we think. I look to the ABC theory to understand unhealthy behaviors. The ABC theory has three components '' the Activating event, one’s Belief system, and the Consequence of our behavior. The theory tells us that it is not A that causes C, but B that causes C. For example, if one is in a depressive state after a parent’s divorce, it is not the divorce that caused the depression, instead, it is one’s belief system about the divorce and oneself, such as believing that s/he is the cause of the divorce, and this is what causes the depression. This kind of thinking will follow us throughout our life, and we will be plagued by feelings of guilt which will manifest itself in a variety of ways. Until the faulty thought process, or belief system, is changed, we will continue to feel its effects. Ellis and Beck have created therapy styles designed to target these kinds of faulty thinking mechanisms, which I will address later in this paper. I believe in motivational factors as well, and think there are two key motivators that people experience in life, fear and love. We follow these motivators to no end to achieve a sense of homeostasis in our lives, a sense of normalcy. We work hard to ensure that we are experiencing love from others, and work towards experiencing a sense of loving someone or something enough to make life seem worthwhile. Similarly, fear is what drives us away, and discourages us from attempting new behaviors and encourages our unhealthy behaviors. Most behaviors can be explained by these motivators, either by the discouragement of one or the encouragement of another. My thoughts here are somewhat similar to Glasser’s choice theory, in that all humans have a few essential basic “needs”. Choice theory tells us that every behavior is our best attempt to get what we want to satisfy our needs. It also tells us that behavior is purposeful because it is our attempt to “close the gap” between what we want and what we think we are getting. He explains that even depressive states are a choice, in that even though it is not the most effective behavior, it is an attempt to get what we feel we need out of our environment. If we tie this in with the idea that behavior is learned from a young age, a child who is told by his parents that he is an excellent artist, in effort to please them and to make them love him more may be motivated to become an artist. Similarly, if a female child is discouraged from playing with trucks and being a tomboy from a young age, she becomes fearful of the consequences of unfeminine behavior. A coping mechanism here can play out if she chooses to be motivated by fear, and continues to try to seek the love of her parents by not allowing any unfeminine behavior, or she can be motivated by fear and act out by “trying on” another gender role. So if we are motivated by fairly simple factors, how would we as therapists attempt to change one’s behavior?
Again, I believe it has to do with faulty thinking. All behaviors can be changed. Since my worldview centers on faulty thinking as the basis for unhealthy behavior, I would turn to the cognitive therapy styles when counseling a client as the most effective way to “cure” unhealthy cognitions. I also tend to incorporate Reality therapy into my counseling style, in that I believe it is important to stress the idea that the only person you can control is yourself. You cannot control or change the behaviors of others, so it is up to us to make the changes in ourselves and our lives if we want our lives to be different. Reality therapy also stresses the idea of choice '' people choose to behave in certain ways. I believe it is often their faulty cognitive structures that lead them to believe that the behavior being played out is the best way to get what they want, but there is a matter of choice. The Reality therapist then stresses to the client that the consequences of the action, and the responsibility of the action, belong to the client. It may be difficult for the client to believe that they are making a choice to be depressed, but until they are able to change their faulty motivating cognitive structure they will …show more content…
continue to experience the depression.
Regarding the past, I like the Reality therapist’s mantra, “What has happened is over, it can’t be changed. The more time we spend looking back, the more we avoid looking forward.” This seems to jive well with my idea of, “This too shall pass” '' I understand that time and patience is required to change faulty cognitions and unhealthy behaviors, but I think it is important to remind our clients that in time, everything will pass, and for that reason, we must keep moving forward and looking to the future. We take what we can from each faltering step, learn what we can from it, and try to keep moving forward. What I also like about this style of therapy is the importance of rapport with one’s client. I agree that only when a client feels comfortable with a therapist, and feels that s/he can trust her therapist, that we can expect changes to occur. Also important in Realty therapy is instilling hope in the client, that no matter how bad things get, they are no longer alone and change is possible. In terms of cognitive therapies, Ellis’ traditional REBT seems to be an effective tool. The basic idea of REBT is to identify and dispute irrational thoughts that we consistently repeat and
self-indoctrinate throughout our lives. REBT teaches the client how to recognize these thoughts and replace them with more effective and rational cognitions. The therapist challenges the client to put him/herself into uncomfortable situations to see what kinds of thoughts arise, and to apply new thinking mechanisms in place of unhealthy cognitions. Therapy is seen as an educational process, which is an aspect of this therapy that attracts me. Ellis also believes that we need to take responsibility for our own actions, that we need to stop blaming others and learn to accept (and I would add love) ourselves despite our imperfections. I diverge from Ellis in that he believes that developing a relationship with the client is unnecessary. Since the therapist is the teacher and the client is the student, Ellis thinks that forming a rapport is frivolous. I believe that the client first needs to be understood and respected before we can begin to have the necessary trust to begin to challenge his/her unhealthy cognitions. Often the relationship established with one’s therapist is the first positive human-to-human connection they have ever experienced. To discount the importance of the relationship, then, I think is faulty. However, I do like cognitive therapy because the client is made to feel that they have an active role in the process, therapy is more than just getting one’s “head shrunk” if you will, but they are actually making an active attempt to change their behavior. Giving client homework means that they are going out and putting into practice what they are “learning”. If we think about the key motivators in one’s life, love and fear, the positive encouragement one receives from his/her therapist could be what they need to strive to change. Wanting to change and actually trying to change are two very different things, and I think the key piece here would be the relationship between the therapist and the client. I also place a lot of value in the role that chemistry plays in psychology. Many kinds of serious psychosis have their roots in a client’s brain chemistry. A failure to produce certain hormones, such as dopamine, can have a powerful affect on both mood and behavior. I am extremely wary of the trend in psychology today to overprescribe anti-psychotic drugs to patients, however. I think that we need to exhaust all other therapeutic routes before prescribing anything, and even once a drug is prescribed, I think it is extremely important to keep up regular visits with a therapist in hopes of learning new coping mechanisms, new thought processes, new motivators, while taking these anti-psychotic drugs. It pains me to think how many people feel that they are dependant on drugs that they may not need, however, I do think there are many, many people who have been helped by them. Keeping an open mind in this profession is key. While we all have our ideas about the why people behave the way that they do, it is important to let the client tell you what they think first, and to listen with an open ear and an open mind. With that in mind, I like to think that my worldview is mostly positive. I like to think that all humans are basically good, and more often than not strive to do good things. It is when we are motivated by fear, and begin to develop unhealthy thought patterns, that we begin to falter, and this shows itself in our behaviors. With counseling, it is possible to change almost anything and I look forward to the opportunity to help my clients.