Throughout our life, we will encounter all kinds of difficulties. Suffering from emotional pain and stress is something unavoidable. Some will choose to seek comfort from people around them while some will try to create their own imaginary world to alleviate their sorrow. Yet relying on other’s help can only relieve pain temporarily; it does not help in the long run. Therefore, everyone needs to find their inner strength and ways to deal with their own sorrows. In Sue Monk Kidd’s The Secret Life of Bees, with August as a guide, Lily gradually walks out of the shadow of her mother’s death and learns to accept and forgive herself and her mother.
Lily grows up under the shadow of her mother’s death. As Lily’s mother died when she was little, Lily thirsts for her father’s love. Yet, her father, T. Ray, wipes out her every expectation for love. In contrast, the relationship between T. Ray and Lily is dysfunctional. Lily even calls him “T. Ray” instead of Daddy as she believes “Daddy never fit him” (Kidd 2). Not only does T. Ray ignore Lily frequently, but also he is actually an abusive father. For instance, T. Ray has forced Lily to kneel on Martha white grits as punishment since she was six. This is a very cruel and humiliating act toward a little girl. T. Ray’s irrational behavior leads to the deterioration of their relationship, and he ultimately causes Lily to feel that she is unlovable. Besides, T. Ray is very reluctant to mention her mother. When Lily asks him about what cake icing her mother Deborah preferred, T. Ray just tells her to “shut up” (12), and asks her to “[pick] up a jar of blackberry jelly and [throw] it against the kitchen cabinet” (13). What T. Ray tells Lily about her mother is only the fact that Lily shot her. Therefore, Lily’s guilt accumulates because she cannot accept the cruel truth. Lily longs for forgiveness from her mother and hopes that her mother would tell her “she was not to blame” (3). Without