satire essasy
November 29, 2011
No Basketball Anymore
When most Americans hear the abbreviation “NBA” they think of the National Basketball Association, but when I hear “NBA” I think of three simple words: No Basketball Anymore. And see that is exactly what I propose should happen. It seems that the never-ending NBA lockout has become quite a troublesome part of many American’s lives. The stress of always wondering when they get to watch their favorite sport again is overwhelming and the financial toll it has taken on aspects of our country is becoming detrimental. To think that all of this stress is due to players wanting fifty-one percent of the owners profit rather than fifty percent is outraging. In order to diminish these and other problems the NBA lockout is causing, I propose that we end the NBA lockout (and future lockouts that will come) by simply eliminating the sport of basketball altogether in the United States.
Although it seems like quite a startling proposal, when you look further into its benefits, this idea seems to be a nifty solution to this prolonged problem that may never be solved. Although it would take much away from the current NBA players, the elimination of the program would offer greater satisfaction to other more hardworking, less greedy, better performing professional sports players in the country. Because the NBA will no longer exist, many of its services will be left to accommodate other sports teams. All of the trainers, owners, sales representatives, cheerleaders, equipment (such as weight lifting machines, Gatorade coolers, etc.), mascots, and water boys can use their talent within the basketball world to help better those in other sports and organizations.
For example, the trainers in the NBA are phenomenal, so it would be very beneficial to move them elsewhere so that other teams have more trainers that can focus on players more individually and subsequently reduce the number of injuries in those sports.
Another example is the
No Basketball Anymore
When most Americans hear the abbreviation “NBA” they think of the National Basketball Association, but when I hear “NBA” I think of three simple words: No Basketball Anymore. And see that is exactly what I propose should happen. It seems that the never-ending NBA lockout has become quite a troublesome part of many American’s lives. The stress of always wondering when they get to watch their favorite sport again is overwhelming and the financial toll it has taken on aspects of our country is becoming detrimental. To think that all of this stress is due to players wanting fifty-one percent of the owners profit rather than fifty percent is outraging. In order to diminish these and other problems the NBA lockout is causing, I propose that we end the NBA lockout (and future lockouts that will come) by simply eliminating the sport of basketball altogether in the United States.
Although it seems like quite a startling proposal, when you look further into its benefits, this idea seems to be a nifty solution to this prolonged problem that may never be solved. Although it would take much away from the current NBA players, the elimination of the program would offer greater satisfaction to other more hardworking, less greedy, better performing professional sports players in the country. Because the NBA will no longer exist, many of its services will be left to accommodate other sports teams. All of the trainers, owners, sales representatives, cheerleaders, equipment (such as weight lifting machines, Gatorade coolers, etc.), mascots, and water boys can use their talent within the basketball world to help better those in other sports and organizations.
For example, the trainers in the NBA are phenomenal, so it would be very beneficial to move them elsewhere so that other teams have more trainers that can focus on players more individually and subsequently reduce the number of injuries in those sports.
Another example is the