All mothers must accept the fact that there will never be a dull moment.
From birth to kindergarten or elementary school, mothers have to reconcile job and family, frequently suffering from strain, partner conflicts, feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and chronic lack of time (Harsch 2006). But, a real caring, loving mother wouldn’t trade it in for anything. Minsky (2006, p. 14) expressed, “The mommy part of me was never going to take the backseat to the writer side of me.” Although, a career is important to achieve, I love women who are willing to take the mommy track-being a mother is primary, and career is secondary like Terri
Minsky. In my household, money is always a major issue and because my father was known as the provider he had to work day in and day out. Although, he made double the income than my mother, it I still necessary for my mother work as well, for extra. I never, until learning this subject, realized the demanding work of my mother. Of course, I knew there was a difference of work between my mother and father, but I didn’t see it from the perspective of a double shift. An unpaid, unappreciated, challenging and demanding work shift; whereas, my father was more laid back. Of course, I appreciate all my father has done for us, his work doesn’t compare to my mother. I can recall on many occasions, my mother yelling to the top of her lungs trying to express to my father that his lack of duties in the household is tearing her apart. Once my father gets off from work, he is off, literally. Never did he cook dinner, go grocery shopping, wash our clothes, or even his clothes for that matter. Also, he never took us to the doctor, school shopping, or took nor picked us up from anywhere. His work included mowing the lawn every two weeks, fixing the sink or toilet when it broke - once every year or so. One thing I admire about life is that it is unpredictable. My parents have kind of switched roles. Although, my father is no longer working, my mother is still working a double shift; but with the help from my father. Initially, that didn’t sit well with him. Not being able to work made him not want to do anything. Considering the fact, he couldn’t leave the house due to surgery, it was acceptable that he still couldn’t take us to school or other places we needed or wanted to be. However, he still wouldn’t clean, cook, or help us with our homework. Slowly, he is adapting to the change, but my mom still stress about the workload she endure day in and day out. Yet, it is important for women to pursue careers. Not all men are like my father, willing to marry and actually provide and care for a family. In case of your husband walking out on his family or a boyfriend leaving to care for your child alone, it is essential for women to be able to hold her own and do what is best for her child. I believe it takes a strong woman to be an independent mother. Most women do not have a choice of being stay at home moms if they want what is best for their child. The pressure of working and going home to work with absolutely no help must take a toll on independent mothers. A real woman knows she have to do whatever it takes to provide for her child. Most independent mothers work two jobs because of the stress of providing for their child or children. Though, this is causing a lack of bonding with children. Because of the rise of single mothers, women are being more cautious about having children. No woman wants to be a single mother from my point of view. So, for example, you are the best woman lawyer in town and you all of a sudden have a child, it may be difficult for some women to cope with the change. I am certain, she doesn’t want to put her career before her child, but the higher your position is a law firm may cause her to do so. Her child may then question, does my mother love her job more than me? As a result of learning such inequality in my own home, I now appreciate my mother so much more.