Stealing Buddha's Dinner Analysis

Silenced Identity In Bich Minh Nguyen’s memoir, “Stealing Buddha’s Dinner,” she narrates her experiences growing up as a Vietnamese refugee in a predominantly white, conservative community of Grand Rapids Michigan, in effort to assimilate to the American culture. Emigrating from Vietnam and experiencing the new American culture, she desires to fit in and be accepted as an American when her ethnicity inevitable marks her as different, being colored Vietnamese and non-Christian Buddhist. Nguyen’s journey toward her self-realization and reconciliation can be traced through her complex relationship to food. Her self-discovery is genuinely embedded in her responses to the food she is exposed or wishes to have. Unfortunately, not all of her responses
She began using silence as an advantage of creating fantasies and self-reflecting on her identity. For instance, when she retreats to Noi’s room because she could not join Crissy and Anh in their exploration since she is younger than them, she reads and writes in her diary, something that gives her peace and comfort. Also when she goes on road trips, she takes her books everywhere as the silence it gives, makes her feel safe and at ease. Nguyen says, “I never embarked on a trip without a supply of books, they were my safety blankets, my stay against boredom, conversation and interaction.” (Nguyen, 168) implying that she was able to discern her values from the values of the others and remain confident in her sense of self rather than feeling incompetent. She finally valued that her silence is no longer a sign of repression or shame, but instead confidence and independence. This occurs as well in her food memory of holiday tamales, which is her favorite Mexican food. In her food memory, she says, “I always wished dinner could last longer, for when it was over I had no purpose in Fruitport.” (Nguyen, 175) Entailing to opening her mind in a more vivid point of view, not being scared of voicing her opinion and what she has to say. She is overcoming the condition of silence negatively through food that makes her feel better about herself. This
Especially when she met her real mother, she was able to self-reflect on how it has been for her and the family she grew up with. Yet, there are still moments in her life when she unexpectedly becomes silent, but her response are different. She comes into realization and deeper understanding of what she has been through. In this case, when her and her mother when to shop, and ended up at a cake store, Silence came again, “It was the fat Buddha… A map of his body in golden dough relief. Before I knew it my mother had ordered and paid for one.” (Nguyen, 233) essentially implying that even in her comfort in food, she was silenced her once again simply because her mother was there. She was left in silenced, that she forgot to ask her mother questions that she has been longing to ask for years, she says, “In the end, I left my questions unanswered, I couldn’t comprehend the loss… the silence…” (Nguyen 237) regretting the feeling of being a stranger and a ghost in which she felt regretful that she never really fantasize about meeting her real mother. However, despite the silenced she faced again, she was able to realize something important in her life. She realized how her stepmother had been a great support for her. “I’m very thankful…for the fact that they raised me and Anh.”(Nguyen, 234) essentially realizing the moments that she thought were repressive