Summary: Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication
Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication
Brian Brinson
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Nicole Harris
10/5/2014
Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication
In my opinion, I think that after reading this article, it makes me wonder how some spouses do not have the same wavelength as their partners. I am a homosexual who has been with my partner for two years now and we both know what each other is thinking, I can finish his sentences before they even come out of his mouth. I have the best man in the world because anytime I am feeling down; he always knows how to pick me up, and he will go out of his way to get me in a better mood. I remember one time when I …show more content…
was sick; he did everything from making me something to eat to bringing me a hot cup of tea with honey and lemon in it. I don 't know what I would do without him! According to this article, I disagree with it because relationships are very strong if you know how to make them work. According to Kenneth Savitsky, a professor of psychology at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts states, “Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but may be not as much as they think. You get rushed and preoccupied, and you stop taking the perspective of the other person, precisely because the two of you are so close.” I am in harmony as my boyfriend, so I disagree with Savitsky because I know my boyfriend inside and out and I do not need some study to say anything against my relationship. Having a close relationship like mine only happens once in a lifetime. I always hear my friends say, “I can 't believe that you guys are still together!” Since, in our world relationships rarely last 6 months, I can honestly say true love does happen.
Communication is a tool that we will use for as long as we live but can be so complex. The various ways of communicating can be done verbally, non-verbally and or written. All three ways of communicating are vital in relationships but the closeness of a relationship can mask how effective you can get your message understood. The article talks about how close relationships masks poor communication. A philosopher, Alfred Korzybski suggested that we would be better at communicating if we and others were more aware what we are doing when communicating, recognize that communication is a process that requires constant work and expect to be misunderstood and misunderstand people. Sole (2011) I believe that you if plan to continue to have a close relationship with a spouse, family member or even co-worker it is important to be effective in those areas.
I experienced miscommunication one time with my best friend Brandi.
She and I share a mutual friend and we are all Facebook friends. I noticed one date that our mutual friend removed me as a friend from her Facebook account. I called Brandi and said sarcastically with a slight giggle in my voice, “I see your girl removed me as her friend on Facebook.” “I wonder why, I have not done anything to her.” “Do you know why she removed me?” Brandi responded that she does not talk about me behind my back so she does not know why she did that. We talk for a few more minutes and then we got off the phone. Brandi and I speak every day and sometimes three or four times a day. I phoned her the next morning on my way to work like I normally do and she did not answer. I called her later on that evening and again no answer. This went on for three days. I then texted her saying hi and give me a call when she got a chance and she responded “alright” but she never called. I am now thinking to myself that she is never this busy something must be wrong. I texted her again saying “I have called and texted you for the last three days and I have not heard from you is something wrong?” Brandi responded, “I was offended by your phone call on the other day. You are my best friend I would not dare talk about you behind my back. I responded, “you misunderstood my phone call please call me so that I can explain.” Brandi called and I explained to her that I was joking when I called about
the mutual friend removing me from her Facebook page. I was really asking a rhetorical question that did not require an answer. I asked the questioned in a joking way and I thought you knew that I was playing. I went on to say come on now, how long we have been friends; you know I could care less about getting deleted from anybody’s page. Brandi then explained that she is aware that we have been friends a long time but she did not realize that I was playing and that is why she was offended.
As the sender of this conversation, I should have done a better job in encoding my ideas so my message would’ve been understood. Sole (2011) I could have stated before my question that I was asking this question in a joking manner and it really did not require an answer. I think that would have set the tone of our conversation. On the receiving end, I should have asked Brandi to explain herself further when she replied that she does not talk about me behind my back. I say that because as I thought about it later that was not the answer to the question. Had I been an active receiver to that response I believe that the conversation would had ending without her feeling offended. In the future, I will not take for granite that she would know when I was playing or serious especially when we are having a conversation over the phone. I learned that if I am going to ask joking questions over the phone my voice inflections should depict that.
References http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and behavior/articles/2011/01/24/close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor- communication
K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec1.1
K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec2.2
Brian Brinson
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Nicole Harris
10/5/2014
Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication
In my opinion, I think that after reading this article, it makes me wonder how some spouses do not have the same wavelength as their partners. I am a homosexual who has been with my partner for two years now and we both know what each other is thinking, I can finish his sentences before they even come out of his mouth. I have the best man in the world because anytime I am feeling down; he always knows how to pick me up, and he will go out of his way to get me in a better mood. I remember one time when I …show more content…
was sick; he did everything from making me something to eat to bringing me a hot cup of tea with honey and lemon in it. I don 't know what I would do without him! According to this article, I disagree with it because relationships are very strong if you know how to make them work. According to Kenneth Savitsky, a professor of psychology at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts states, “Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but may be not as much as they think. You get rushed and preoccupied, and you stop taking the perspective of the other person, precisely because the two of you are so close.” I am in harmony as my boyfriend, so I disagree with Savitsky because I know my boyfriend inside and out and I do not need some study to say anything against my relationship. Having a close relationship like mine only happens once in a lifetime. I always hear my friends say, “I can 't believe that you guys are still together!” Since, in our world relationships rarely last 6 months, I can honestly say true love does happen.
Communication is a tool that we will use for as long as we live but can be so complex. The various ways of communicating can be done verbally, non-verbally and or written. All three ways of communicating are vital in relationships but the closeness of a relationship can mask how effective you can get your message understood. The article talks about how close relationships masks poor communication. A philosopher, Alfred Korzybski suggested that we would be better at communicating if we and others were more aware what we are doing when communicating, recognize that communication is a process that requires constant work and expect to be misunderstood and misunderstand people. Sole (2011) I believe that you if plan to continue to have a close relationship with a spouse, family member or even co-worker it is important to be effective in those areas.
I experienced miscommunication one time with my best friend Brandi.
She and I share a mutual friend and we are all Facebook friends. I noticed one date that our mutual friend removed me as a friend from her Facebook account. I called Brandi and said sarcastically with a slight giggle in my voice, “I see your girl removed me as her friend on Facebook.” “I wonder why, I have not done anything to her.” “Do you know why she removed me?” Brandi responded that she does not talk about me behind my back so she does not know why she did that. We talk for a few more minutes and then we got off the phone. Brandi and I speak every day and sometimes three or four times a day. I phoned her the next morning on my way to work like I normally do and she did not answer. I called her later on that evening and again no answer. This went on for three days. I then texted her saying hi and give me a call when she got a chance and she responded “alright” but she never called. I am now thinking to myself that she is never this busy something must be wrong. I texted her again saying “I have called and texted you for the last three days and I have not heard from you is something wrong?” Brandi responded, “I was offended by your phone call on the other day. You are my best friend I would not dare talk about you behind my back. I responded, “you misunderstood my phone call please call me so that I can explain.” Brandi called and I explained to her that I was joking when I called about
the mutual friend removing me from her Facebook page. I was really asking a rhetorical question that did not require an answer. I asked the questioned in a joking way and I thought you knew that I was playing. I went on to say come on now, how long we have been friends; you know I could care less about getting deleted from anybody’s page. Brandi then explained that she is aware that we have been friends a long time but she did not realize that I was playing and that is why she was offended.
As the sender of this conversation, I should have done a better job in encoding my ideas so my message would’ve been understood. Sole (2011) I could have stated before my question that I was asking this question in a joking manner and it really did not require an answer. I think that would have set the tone of our conversation. On the receiving end, I should have asked Brandi to explain herself further when she replied that she does not talk about me behind my back. I say that because as I thought about it later that was not the answer to the question. Had I been an active receiver to that response I believe that the conversation would had ending without her feeling offended. In the future, I will not take for granite that she would know when I was playing or serious especially when we are having a conversation over the phone. I learned that if I am going to ask joking questions over the phone my voice inflections should depict that.
References http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and behavior/articles/2011/01/24/close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor- communication
K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec1.1
K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec2.2