Summary Of Against Me By Laura Jane Grace
It’s the 4th of July in 1995 on the Boardwalk in Naples, Florida. A 14-year-old boy is walking down the boardwalk and viewing the fireworks. Granted, this boy is the typical image of a punk, with all black, grimy clothes, and spiked black hair. Suddenly, a police officer directs him to get off the boardwalk, so he steps down, but this doesn’t seem to be good enough for the officer so a confrontation begins. This altercation ends with the boy being physically detained and arrested for battery and resisting arrest (Laura Jane Grace). Three years later this same boy begins writing songs under the title Against Me! where he voices his political opinions. Later in his writing he begins to express his inner feelings conveying that this boy is not
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a boy, but a female in this boy’s body. This was just the beginning of a long and hard journey for Thomas Gabel, who would eventually grow into the true woman she’s supposed to be. Feeling like you have been born in the wrong body, and continuing to deal with that feeling for 30 years before accepting your true self is stressful. Most people will never understand how it feels to feel that way, but this punk and political icon overcame plenty of life’s struggles to finally grow into herself. Laura Jane Grace handled these feelings with grace, perfectly living up to her last name. Thomas Gabel was born in Georgia in 1980, which the time era will play a big role in who this boy grows up to be. This young boy was the son of a US Army Major and was constantly moving around the globe to different Army bases. When he was 12, his parents went through a nasty divorce and never spoke to one another again. "I think [Laura] became the catchall for the anger of the split," said Grace's mother” (“Laura Jane Grace”). Thomas became the typical angry teenage boy that punk rock is all about, so the rock music scene began calling to him. “At first, especially living where I was living, like, the nihilism of it all attracted me — the idea of live fast, die young — because I didn't think I was going to make it out of South Florida, especially [because] I got arrested and was already a felon by the time I was like 14, 15 years old, so I really thought I was going to get stuck there. So the idea of dying was appealing” (“For Laura Jane Grace…”). As he began to get involved in the music scene, he was dealing with many confusing feelings about his gender. From a very early age Thomas had experienced feelings of gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is in layman's terms, feeling stress because of the gender you were born as. These feelings are traumatic for anyone, but especially for a teenage boy who has already experienced trauma in his short life. To deal with these feelings, he developed some pretty awful coping skills. “Constantly bullied at school, Grace was experimenting seriously with alcohol and drugs by age 13, including marijuana, LSD, and cocaine. She was arrested for possession of marijuana at 14 and went on to struggle with addiction for years. Other coping mechanisms included skipping school to cross-dress at home” (“Laura Jane Grace”). Eventually all of these traumas would become inspiration for songs that he would write in the band he created, Against Me!. The next big stage in Gabel’s life was when all of these dysphoric feelings finally culminated into the biggest decision of his life. This decision was that he wasn’t really a he at all. Thomas Gabel was born into a male body, but was meant to be a female. This revelation came in 2012, after he had been feeling this way for over 30 years. Many of the lyrics in Against Me! Songs had revealed these feelings, but in a way that no one had ever realised. In one of Against Me!’s earliest songs, “Disgust”, we get some insight into the daily struggle that Gabel felt dealing with his dysphoria. “Shouldn't I be living yet? Shouldn't I know where I'm headed by now I have millions of dreams and things I want to do with this life. But I barely have time to do the little I do now. It's not satisfaction I get relaxing at the end of the day. It's escape from the stress. Disgust that I'm already in bed waiting to go to sleep again. Wasn't I just here? Didn't this just happen? I can't say I know what will happen tomorrow. The higher meaning that I'm looking for did not show itself today” (Azlyrics.com). These lyrics talk about how he had wished that he could be doing more with his life, while also being true to himself. In the lyrics it says that at the end of the day when he is supposed to be relaxing, he is still stressed, and usually ends up just sleeping his life away. This is a great window looking into his life when he was struggling with these dysphoric feelings and depression because of it. Finally after all of this struggling, in 2012 Gabel came out as a transgender woman who would now be known as Laura Jane Grace. After this breakthrough though, her life completely fell apart. “But within a year or so after Grace came out, they were hanging on by a thread. They'd been dropped by their label. Their ex-manager was suing them. Half the band had quit. These problems weren't all related to transitioning, Grace says, but it seemed inevitable that everything would end up in flux: ‘Coming out started a lot of change in my life in general.’” During this transition she also started hormones to begin changing her body and brain with estrogen. The starting of hormones also put stress on her relationship with her wife, Heather Hannoura. “At the beginning, Heather was in many ways Grace's cheerleader, championing her honesty and gently correcting people who called her ‘him.’ ‘I had her back so hard – it was like us against the world in a way,’ says Heather when I talk to her a few weeks later. ‘But it also sort of highlighted problems. With band stuff, all the press, everything, she was even less present. It was overwhelming for both of us.’ It didn't help that the hormones Grace was taking dampened her sex drive and caused physical changes. Or that Heather was attracted to men, not women. ‘That discussion,’ she says, ‘didn't go well.’” Coming out as the woman that she was supposed to be didn’t make life better in any way for Grace, like everyone expected it to. “No, transitioning has not been easy. Yes, it's cost her a lot. But she recognizes now that transitioning was never going to fix all her problems – ‘Taking hormones isn't going to solve whatever emotional issues you have; they're two separate things’ – and that the problems it created may have been a necessary part of blowing up her life so she could create a new one” (Morris). After all of these struggles relating to her transition though, Laura began to rebuild her life. In life, people tend to look up to someone who is inspiring in their own ways.
Laura Jane Grace is an inspiration for people who have involvement in the rock music scene, or who need to see validation that LGBT individuals can be successful. The first thing that a majority of people think of when they hear the name Laura Jane Grace is the idea of being transgender. Through her opening up about her feelings of dysphoria as a child and about her struggles after coming out, the population can finally get an understanding about the life and feelings of a transgender person. “Yet as the current social climate has been more receptive and responsive to the LGBTQ community, Grace has been celebrated for giving this culture a forward-facing figurehead, defining and embracing gender/social politics to a generation that’s never been more aware and accepting” (Pettigrew). The time period that Grace came out in was so much more accepting than the generations that were around when she was a he. Her success in music has made her a recognizable figure that people could look up to. Her music career gave Laura the perfect platform to become an LGBT inspiration. Starting out her music career when she was a 17-year-old, angry, and almost seditious teenager, blossomed into a booming musical career with an amazingly successful with the band Against Me!. The main focuses of Against Me!’s lyrics were Grace’s anarchist ideas and innuendos about her dysphoric feelings. “Touching on themes such as her personal life and political views, frontwoman Laura Jane Grace has used her lyrics and songwriting to express her bare soul, connecting with audiences from varying walks of life” (Papan). It is important for a person in a position of influence to set a positive tone for the various people who may be watching them. Laura Jane Grace is the perfect example of a good role model in the rock industry because of the fact that she states her opinion and doesn’t change that for anyone. It’s hard enough
to do that when you feel comfortable as yourself, and it’s even harder when you’re unsure of everything around you, including yourself.
Dealing with all of life’s curveballs is hard for everyone, but it might be hardest of all if you’re a fourteen-year-old punk who started out with the disadvantages that Laura Jane Grace did. Everyone’s teenage years are rough, and that’s a fact. Thomas Gabel’s teenhood started out with an awful divorce of his parents, multiple negative encounters with the law, and confusion about his gender identity. During an encounter with the police on July 4th, in 1995, Gabel’s political outlook on life would be solidified through this one event. “An arrest at age 14 crystallized her aversion to authority… Grace claims to have then been slammed into a police car, thrown face-first to the pavement, jumped on, hogtied, carried ‘like a suitcase’, put in a holding cell, not allowed to call her mom at that time, charged with resisting arrest and battery, placed under house arrest for the summer, and required to do 180 hours of community service, all because ‘I was a dirty, grubby little punk kid with black spiky hair who hadn't washed his pants in a year’” (Laura Jane Grace).
a boy, but a female in this boy’s body. This was just the beginning of a long and hard journey for Thomas Gabel, who would eventually grow into the true woman she’s supposed to be. Feeling like you have been born in the wrong body, and continuing to deal with that feeling for 30 years before accepting your true self is stressful. Most people will never understand how it feels to feel that way, but this punk and political icon overcame plenty of life’s struggles to finally grow into herself. Laura Jane Grace handled these feelings with grace, perfectly living up to her last name. Thomas Gabel was born in Georgia in 1980, which the time era will play a big role in who this boy grows up to be. This young boy was the son of a US Army Major and was constantly moving around the globe to different Army bases. When he was 12, his parents went through a nasty divorce and never spoke to one another again. "I think [Laura] became the catchall for the anger of the split," said Grace's mother” (“Laura Jane Grace”). Thomas became the typical angry teenage boy that punk rock is all about, so the rock music scene began calling to him. “At first, especially living where I was living, like, the nihilism of it all attracted me — the idea of live fast, die young — because I didn't think I was going to make it out of South Florida, especially [because] I got arrested and was already a felon by the time I was like 14, 15 years old, so I really thought I was going to get stuck there. So the idea of dying was appealing” (“For Laura Jane Grace…”). As he began to get involved in the music scene, he was dealing with many confusing feelings about his gender. From a very early age Thomas had experienced feelings of gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is in layman's terms, feeling stress because of the gender you were born as. These feelings are traumatic for anyone, but especially for a teenage boy who has already experienced trauma in his short life. To deal with these feelings, he developed some pretty awful coping skills. “Constantly bullied at school, Grace was experimenting seriously with alcohol and drugs by age 13, including marijuana, LSD, and cocaine. She was arrested for possession of marijuana at 14 and went on to struggle with addiction for years. Other coping mechanisms included skipping school to cross-dress at home” (“Laura Jane Grace”). Eventually all of these traumas would become inspiration for songs that he would write in the band he created, Against Me!. The next big stage in Gabel’s life was when all of these dysphoric feelings finally culminated into the biggest decision of his life. This decision was that he wasn’t really a he at all. Thomas Gabel was born into a male body, but was meant to be a female. This revelation came in 2012, after he had been feeling this way for over 30 years. Many of the lyrics in Against Me! Songs had revealed these feelings, but in a way that no one had ever realised. In one of Against Me!’s earliest songs, “Disgust”, we get some insight into the daily struggle that Gabel felt dealing with his dysphoria. “Shouldn't I be living yet? Shouldn't I know where I'm headed by now I have millions of dreams and things I want to do with this life. But I barely have time to do the little I do now. It's not satisfaction I get relaxing at the end of the day. It's escape from the stress. Disgust that I'm already in bed waiting to go to sleep again. Wasn't I just here? Didn't this just happen? I can't say I know what will happen tomorrow. The higher meaning that I'm looking for did not show itself today” (Azlyrics.com). These lyrics talk about how he had wished that he could be doing more with his life, while also being true to himself. In the lyrics it says that at the end of the day when he is supposed to be relaxing, he is still stressed, and usually ends up just sleeping his life away. This is a great window looking into his life when he was struggling with these dysphoric feelings and depression because of it. Finally after all of this struggling, in 2012 Gabel came out as a transgender woman who would now be known as Laura Jane Grace. After this breakthrough though, her life completely fell apart. “But within a year or so after Grace came out, they were hanging on by a thread. They'd been dropped by their label. Their ex-manager was suing them. Half the band had quit. These problems weren't all related to transitioning, Grace says, but it seemed inevitable that everything would end up in flux: ‘Coming out started a lot of change in my life in general.’” During this transition she also started hormones to begin changing her body and brain with estrogen. The starting of hormones also put stress on her relationship with her wife, Heather Hannoura. “At the beginning, Heather was in many ways Grace's cheerleader, championing her honesty and gently correcting people who called her ‘him.’ ‘I had her back so hard – it was like us against the world in a way,’ says Heather when I talk to her a few weeks later. ‘But it also sort of highlighted problems. With band stuff, all the press, everything, she was even less present. It was overwhelming for both of us.’ It didn't help that the hormones Grace was taking dampened her sex drive and caused physical changes. Or that Heather was attracted to men, not women. ‘That discussion,’ she says, ‘didn't go well.’” Coming out as the woman that she was supposed to be didn’t make life better in any way for Grace, like everyone expected it to. “No, transitioning has not been easy. Yes, it's cost her a lot. But she recognizes now that transitioning was never going to fix all her problems – ‘Taking hormones isn't going to solve whatever emotional issues you have; they're two separate things’ – and that the problems it created may have been a necessary part of blowing up her life so she could create a new one” (Morris). After all of these struggles relating to her transition though, Laura began to rebuild her life. In life, people tend to look up to someone who is inspiring in their own ways.
Laura Jane Grace is an inspiration for people who have involvement in the rock music scene, or who need to see validation that LGBT individuals can be successful. The first thing that a majority of people think of when they hear the name Laura Jane Grace is the idea of being transgender. Through her opening up about her feelings of dysphoria as a child and about her struggles after coming out, the population can finally get an understanding about the life and feelings of a transgender person. “Yet as the current social climate has been more receptive and responsive to the LGBTQ community, Grace has been celebrated for giving this culture a forward-facing figurehead, defining and embracing gender/social politics to a generation that’s never been more aware and accepting” (Pettigrew). The time period that Grace came out in was so much more accepting than the generations that were around when she was a he. Her success in music has made her a recognizable figure that people could look up to. Her music career gave Laura the perfect platform to become an LGBT inspiration. Starting out her music career when she was a 17-year-old, angry, and almost seditious teenager, blossomed into a booming musical career with an amazingly successful with the band Against Me!. The main focuses of Against Me!’s lyrics were Grace’s anarchist ideas and innuendos about her dysphoric feelings. “Touching on themes such as her personal life and political views, frontwoman Laura Jane Grace has used her lyrics and songwriting to express her bare soul, connecting with audiences from varying walks of life” (Papan). It is important for a person in a position of influence to set a positive tone for the various people who may be watching them. Laura Jane Grace is the perfect example of a good role model in the rock industry because of the fact that she states her opinion and doesn’t change that for anyone. It’s hard enough
to do that when you feel comfortable as yourself, and it’s even harder when you’re unsure of everything around you, including yourself.
Dealing with all of life’s curveballs is hard for everyone, but it might be hardest of all if you’re a fourteen-year-old punk who started out with the disadvantages that Laura Jane Grace did. Everyone’s teenage years are rough, and that’s a fact. Thomas Gabel’s teenhood started out with an awful divorce of his parents, multiple negative encounters with the law, and confusion about his gender identity. During an encounter with the police on July 4th, in 1995, Gabel’s political outlook on life would be solidified through this one event. “An arrest at age 14 crystallized her aversion to authority… Grace claims to have then been slammed into a police car, thrown face-first to the pavement, jumped on, hogtied, carried ‘like a suitcase’, put in a holding cell, not allowed to call her mom at that time, charged with resisting arrest and battery, placed under house arrest for the summer, and required to do 180 hours of community service, all because ‘I was a dirty, grubby little punk kid with black spiky hair who hadn't washed his pants in a year’” (Laura Jane Grace).