My relationship with my Dad as a young child differs greatly from Amir’s relationship with his Father, Baba. Although there were six kids in the family, my Dad never fell short when it came to affection. After a long hard day at work and coming home almost passed six in the evening, Dad always had enough energy to spend time with each of us. We would play video games, watch television and spend the night giggling together. But Amir on the other hand felt deprived of an emotional connection with his Father, which he blames on himself. “I always felt like Baba hated me a little. And why not? After all, I had killed his beloved wife, his beautiful princess…” (Hosseini 14). Amir constantly longs for his Fathers affection and approval. At the beginning chapters of the novel, Amir describes his father as proud, independent, determined, but sometimes emotionally distant. He would feel jealousy towards anyone that receives Baba’s attention. “I already hated all the kids he was building the orphanage for…” (Hosseini 15). When Baba was building the orphanage, there would be many nights when Amir would eat alone. He knew his Father was busy supervising at the construction site. When Hassan received Baba’s attention, Amir would feel so much jealousy and despise that he would passive-aggressively attack Hassan by pulling pranks or make fun of his ignorance. As Amir grows up craving for his Fathers emotional attention, he starts to feel alienated from his Father. But we later learn in the ending chapters of the book why Baba builds the orphanage and why Amir always felt Baba was distant from his emotions. “I think you know who” (Hosseini 118). A response from Rahim Khan expressing Hassan was fathered by Baba. That simple sentence was the only thing Amir needed to hear to realize why Baba had built the orphanage. He built the orphanage to make up for the guilt he felt for not recognizing Hassan as his son. That same guilt is also why his Father always seemed separated from his emotions, which relates to why Amir thinks his Dad never loved him.
Amir never learns to have courage because Hassan is always defending him. “You know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him? Hassan steps in and fends them off.” (Hosseini 17). Amir hears his Father speaking to Rahim Klan about how Amir is unable to defend himself and it was Hassan who would stand up for him. Unlike Amir, growing up with three brothers sums up who I am today. I became tough and “one of the boys”. Although I knew they were always there to defend me, they made sure I was able to defend myself. “Don’t ever show you’re scared of your enemy or you don’t have a clue of what you’re doing,” my oldest brother would say. Of course back then he was referring to our neighbor across the street who happens to be an evil villain in the make believe world. My brothers continue to tell me the same phrase as a young adult. Only now it makes much more sense; my brothers were pushing me to have confidence, to attain bravery, and determination. On the contrary, Amir’s character struggles with the longing for his Father’s approval and the jealousy he feels when Hassan receives Baba’s attention. In an earlier chapter of the book, Amir tries to please his Father by attending a buzkashi match, a game which a rider must put an animal carcass in a scoring circle while other riders try to steal it from him. Amir cries after he witnesses the horror of the rider falling off his horse, getting trampled, and a pool of his blood is soaked by his blood. On that drive home, Amir says to himself, “I will never forget Baba’s valiant efforts to conceal the disgusted look on his face as he drove in silence” (Hosseini 19). That moment becomes one of the factors that play into Amir’s selfishness, lack of confidence and cowardliness which later then leads to Amir leaving Hassan to be raped. “I ran because I was a coward” (Hosseini 59). Amir tells himself after trying to decide whether he should stand up for Hassan or run.
Though Hassan is Amir’s best friend, Amir never truly acknowledges him as one because Hassan is his servant. He feels Hassan to be inferior to him and to Afghan society. His jealousy when Hassan receives Baba’s attention also becomes a factor of why he takes advantage of Hassan’s friendship. “Imbecile, it means smart, intelligent. I'll use it in a sentence for you. ‘When it comes to words, Hassan is an imbecile" (Hosseini 24). Amir constantly makes Hassan feel lower to him as a human being. When Assef harasses Amir and Hassan on the street, Assef says, “How can you talk to him, play with him, let him touch you?” Amir almost convinces himself to bluntly say that Hassan was not his best friend, that Hassan is only his servant. In chapter 7, Amir allows Hassan to be raped solely because of the blue kite, which represents his token to his Father’s affection and approval. “…the real reason I was running, was that Assef was right: Nothing was free in this world. Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba” (Hosseini 61). He compares Hassan to the lamb therefore he leaves Hassan to be raped convincing himself that the price for the kite was sacrificing Hassan. My best friend growing up was my grandmother’s gardener’s daughter, Monique. Unlike Amir, I thought she was the luckiest and smartest kid. Lucky because Monique was able to spend time with her Dad while he was working and smart because she knew everything about plants, at the age of six, I thought that was pretty impressive. I don’t recall ever putting Monique down like Amir would do to Hassan. When all the neighborhood kids had new clothes for the new school year, they would notice Monique still wearing that same old shirt and shoes from last year. As blunt as kids are, they would say horrible things calling her rag Monique. I would comfort her and let her borrow my new shoes without my parents’ permission. I can proudly say I stood up for her every single time, never sacrificing her when the neighborhood bully demanded to have our dollar for the ice cream man. As young adults, Monique and I are still as close as ever.
In conclusion, The Kite Runner is a story of father and son relationship, friendship, guilt and redemption. For Amir, each of these specifics, father and son relationship, his friendship with Hassan, his carried guilt for twenty six years and his search for redemption, all connected to each other and became the foundation of who he is as a person. In contrary, the foundation of who I am today is because of my relationship with my Dad, my brothers pushing to make me a brave and confident individual, and my best friend. In the end, Amir becomes a selfless adult from a selfish boy living in Kubal.
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