The Kite Runner Father Son Relationship Essay
The Kite Runner
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Essay: The complex relationship.
By Mia Malene
A lot of people in the western part of the world has lack of knowledge about Immigrants and the Middle East. I’ve read the novel The Kite Runner, and I mean that the book can give us another impression of what the Middle East is about- My focus in this essay is on one of the similarities found in The Middle East compared to the rest of the world. I think that the book can change people's attitude about people living in the Middle East and immigrants, because their humanity is recognizable.
The first part of the novel plays out the complex relationship between the boy Amir and his father called Baba. Amir senses disappointment from his father, …show more content…
he is let down by the fact that he is not like him. Amir tries everything to achieve his father's approval. I think that this is relevant for studying the multiculturalism in the novel, so I choose to focus on the relationship between a father and son.
At first they are living in Afghanistan, Amir together with his father Baba.
They live together with two servants, also father and son. The four of them and their relationship is complex, as the book reveals later on. The servant's boy Hassan and Amir share a profound love besides all their differences – one is wealthy, the other poor, one is secular, the other religious. Baba later on decides to move to America, to give his son Amir an opportunity to graduate from college. The challenges for Amir and his seeking for approval continues.
“Sometimes I asked Baba if I could sit with them, but Baba would stand in the doorway. “Go on now” he’d say. “This is grown-ups’ time. Why don’t you go read one of those books of yours?” He’d close the door, leave me to wonder why it was always grown-ups’ time with him. I’d sit by the door, knees drawn to my chest. Sometimes I sat there for an hour, sometimes two, listening to their laughter, their chatter.”
This is an excerpt from the book where Amir gives the first introduction of his father. The reason why I think exactly this excerpt is so relevant in the course of my essay is because it captures the essence of the relationship between Amir and his father. It is specified in chapter two as the various main characters are presented. Since it is given so early in the book it modifies the reader with a feeling of the distance between Amir and
Baba.
In the picture Amir draws of his fathers’ part in his childhood, I can see a modest lonely boy who is always striving for his father approval. His father gives him everything he ever wanted and needed, except his love and acknowledgment. Amir grew up in one of Kabul’s finest homes, with his own servant and, and what seems on the outside, a perfect father. Baba was a powerful man in Kabul, liked by many and known by even more. He was respected as a generous man, as he often threw many social events and gave a lot for charity. He was a righteous and liberal man. In many ways he was what seemed like a perfect father.
However how can one define what a “perfect father” is? Is it a bulletproof illusion of a role model? Or is it simply one who will shelter you in hard weather and provide for you? We can not deny that Baba loved his son, but we can find many of the reasons why Amir became a person who betrayed his best friend through the relationship between Baba and Amir. Amir betrays his best friend in the course of achieving a higher goal; his father’s approval. In which he is so desperate to accomplish that he will let nothing stand in his way. Clearly this is a sensitive boy with a need for emotional contact with his father. He longs to be near him, but always fear that his father is distant because his wife died giving birth to Amir. It is a very sad story of a lonely boy seeking love and approval, as his father seems quite cold.
In an article published: Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at Boldsky Limitless Living, Chakraborty wrote: ''The happiness of a family is based on successful and strong bonding between the members. It is often said that the girl child is closer to the father and the boy child to the mother. It has generally been noticed that the relationship between father and son is often of conflicts specially in his growing up age. The father and son relationship can be one of the best as men to men friendship is often strong but when the same relationship is that of conflict, then it can be very difficult for the family.'' The article is from an American website, and I think that this shows us that conflicts between father and son is known in the Western part of the world as well. It is a fact that men often chase their dreams through their sons, and if they do not become the persons they want them to be, it can be hard for the fathers to accept it. They dream to fulfill all their unquenchable needs through their son as the article from Boldsky also mentions.
One day Amir overhears a conversation between Baba and his best friend; Rahim Kahn. Baba utter that he do not understand his son, because he does not stand up for himself. He always let Hassan, his best friend and servant, defend him. This is a quality Baba has no respect for in a man. He also states that he would not believe that Amir is his son if he hadn’t witnessed the birth. In the following day Amir snaps at Hassan out of jealousy. Because Amir always feels rejected by his father, he develops a jealousy for Hassan and a need to show himself as dominant over him. I see this as a obvious reaction to the lack of approval and affection from Baba.
On the other hand one must take consideration of Baba’s nature and his story as well. He tried to do whatever best for Amir by always providing for him. It seems as if Baba is a person who preferably holds most of his feelings to himself. From the excerpt I get the impression that Baba is more at ease with spending time with adults than with his son. I think this occurs in other parts of the world as well, but in the West this is not an ideal relationship between a father and a son. At the same time, this is one of the issues in the novel. I think that the author wants to show us that this can be common in the Middle East, but at the same time it is an issue as well in the Middle East as in the West.
At the same time Baba did make a sacrifice for Amir when they moved to America and Baba took a low paid job so that Amir could graduate and get a good education. This is as Amir is getting older and maybe Baba finds it easier to spend time with him. As Amir is older and wiser I think he in certain ways understands his father better. And this sacrifice becomes a symbol of the love Baba has for Amir. Personally I reflect upon which effect this has on my judgment of their relationship. Anyway Baba has a responsibility as a father beyond the materialistic necessities.
Throughout the book Amir tells us the story of his life. And even though Baba in many ways was a good provider for Amir he was not a provider of support and love. Exactly what Amir needed the most. In my point of view a good parent is someone who will shelter you in bad weather, someone who will give you acknowledgment and support. When we’re first born they are the ones who nurture us and we depend upon them completely. Later on as we are getting older they are the ones who teach us the ways of life. As children their parents’ emotional support and affection is in many ways essential for a restful and pleasant childhood.
As mentioned this is a worldwide problem, so I think the novel plays an important role in neutralizing the Middle East. When Baba and Amir moves to America, many may get a different impression of immigrants in their country. Although the novel is fiction, it shows us what immigrants have to struggle with when trying to archive a goal of a better life. I have never experienced it, but I guess it is not easy to leave the familiar only to see the unknown. The culture differences can be hard adapting to, and it is rare not to face struggles when being an immigrant. I guess the people surrounding you during the adapting period is crucial to success. When Baba and Amir moved, they where depending on each other to achieve happiness. Maybe it brought them closer, but at the same time it may have driven them further apart. As Amir got older he also got more mature, and I get the impression of him developing more understanding towards his father and his choices during his childhood.
All things considered Baba did not fail his son as a role model, but as a father. There are many twists in this story and I see it as unfair to judge Baba as a bad father for Amir. But in the end he was not, in my point of view, able to achieve the most crucial element of good parenthood.
There is no relationship we can define as perfect, and the cultural differences in the world make it impossible to define the one that everyone would agree on. At the same time, we may now know that the challenges in a father and son relationship is a worldwide problem, and the influence of other cultures make it even harder to find the right balance.
Sources: http://teachmulticulturallit.wikispaces.com/The+Kite+Runner http://www.boldsky.com/health/disorders-cure/2010/father-and-son-relationship-021110.html
[pic]
Essay: The complex relationship.
By Mia Malene
A lot of people in the western part of the world has lack of knowledge about Immigrants and the Middle East. I’ve read the novel The Kite Runner, and I mean that the book can give us another impression of what the Middle East is about- My focus in this essay is on one of the similarities found in The Middle East compared to the rest of the world. I think that the book can change people's attitude about people living in the Middle East and immigrants, because their humanity is recognizable.
The first part of the novel plays out the complex relationship between the boy Amir and his father called Baba. Amir senses disappointment from his father, …show more content…
he is let down by the fact that he is not like him. Amir tries everything to achieve his father's approval. I think that this is relevant for studying the multiculturalism in the novel, so I choose to focus on the relationship between a father and son.
At first they are living in Afghanistan, Amir together with his father Baba.
They live together with two servants, also father and son. The four of them and their relationship is complex, as the book reveals later on. The servant's boy Hassan and Amir share a profound love besides all their differences – one is wealthy, the other poor, one is secular, the other religious. Baba later on decides to move to America, to give his son Amir an opportunity to graduate from college. The challenges for Amir and his seeking for approval continues.
“Sometimes I asked Baba if I could sit with them, but Baba would stand in the doorway. “Go on now” he’d say. “This is grown-ups’ time. Why don’t you go read one of those books of yours?” He’d close the door, leave me to wonder why it was always grown-ups’ time with him. I’d sit by the door, knees drawn to my chest. Sometimes I sat there for an hour, sometimes two, listening to their laughter, their chatter.”
This is an excerpt from the book where Amir gives the first introduction of his father. The reason why I think exactly this excerpt is so relevant in the course of my essay is because it captures the essence of the relationship between Amir and his father. It is specified in chapter two as the various main characters are presented. Since it is given so early in the book it modifies the reader with a feeling of the distance between Amir and
Baba.
In the picture Amir draws of his fathers’ part in his childhood, I can see a modest lonely boy who is always striving for his father approval. His father gives him everything he ever wanted and needed, except his love and acknowledgment. Amir grew up in one of Kabul’s finest homes, with his own servant and, and what seems on the outside, a perfect father. Baba was a powerful man in Kabul, liked by many and known by even more. He was respected as a generous man, as he often threw many social events and gave a lot for charity. He was a righteous and liberal man. In many ways he was what seemed like a perfect father.
However how can one define what a “perfect father” is? Is it a bulletproof illusion of a role model? Or is it simply one who will shelter you in hard weather and provide for you? We can not deny that Baba loved his son, but we can find many of the reasons why Amir became a person who betrayed his best friend through the relationship between Baba and Amir. Amir betrays his best friend in the course of achieving a higher goal; his father’s approval. In which he is so desperate to accomplish that he will let nothing stand in his way. Clearly this is a sensitive boy with a need for emotional contact with his father. He longs to be near him, but always fear that his father is distant because his wife died giving birth to Amir. It is a very sad story of a lonely boy seeking love and approval, as his father seems quite cold.
In an article published: Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at Boldsky Limitless Living, Chakraborty wrote: ''The happiness of a family is based on successful and strong bonding between the members. It is often said that the girl child is closer to the father and the boy child to the mother. It has generally been noticed that the relationship between father and son is often of conflicts specially in his growing up age. The father and son relationship can be one of the best as men to men friendship is often strong but when the same relationship is that of conflict, then it can be very difficult for the family.'' The article is from an American website, and I think that this shows us that conflicts between father and son is known in the Western part of the world as well. It is a fact that men often chase their dreams through their sons, and if they do not become the persons they want them to be, it can be hard for the fathers to accept it. They dream to fulfill all their unquenchable needs through their son as the article from Boldsky also mentions.
One day Amir overhears a conversation between Baba and his best friend; Rahim Kahn. Baba utter that he do not understand his son, because he does not stand up for himself. He always let Hassan, his best friend and servant, defend him. This is a quality Baba has no respect for in a man. He also states that he would not believe that Amir is his son if he hadn’t witnessed the birth. In the following day Amir snaps at Hassan out of jealousy. Because Amir always feels rejected by his father, he develops a jealousy for Hassan and a need to show himself as dominant over him. I see this as a obvious reaction to the lack of approval and affection from Baba.
On the other hand one must take consideration of Baba’s nature and his story as well. He tried to do whatever best for Amir by always providing for him. It seems as if Baba is a person who preferably holds most of his feelings to himself. From the excerpt I get the impression that Baba is more at ease with spending time with adults than with his son. I think this occurs in other parts of the world as well, but in the West this is not an ideal relationship between a father and a son. At the same time, this is one of the issues in the novel. I think that the author wants to show us that this can be common in the Middle East, but at the same time it is an issue as well in the Middle East as in the West.
At the same time Baba did make a sacrifice for Amir when they moved to America and Baba took a low paid job so that Amir could graduate and get a good education. This is as Amir is getting older and maybe Baba finds it easier to spend time with him. As Amir is older and wiser I think he in certain ways understands his father better. And this sacrifice becomes a symbol of the love Baba has for Amir. Personally I reflect upon which effect this has on my judgment of their relationship. Anyway Baba has a responsibility as a father beyond the materialistic necessities.
Throughout the book Amir tells us the story of his life. And even though Baba in many ways was a good provider for Amir he was not a provider of support and love. Exactly what Amir needed the most. In my point of view a good parent is someone who will shelter you in bad weather, someone who will give you acknowledgment and support. When we’re first born they are the ones who nurture us and we depend upon them completely. Later on as we are getting older they are the ones who teach us the ways of life. As children their parents’ emotional support and affection is in many ways essential for a restful and pleasant childhood.
As mentioned this is a worldwide problem, so I think the novel plays an important role in neutralizing the Middle East. When Baba and Amir moves to America, many may get a different impression of immigrants in their country. Although the novel is fiction, it shows us what immigrants have to struggle with when trying to archive a goal of a better life. I have never experienced it, but I guess it is not easy to leave the familiar only to see the unknown. The culture differences can be hard adapting to, and it is rare not to face struggles when being an immigrant. I guess the people surrounding you during the adapting period is crucial to success. When Baba and Amir moved, they where depending on each other to achieve happiness. Maybe it brought them closer, but at the same time it may have driven them further apart. As Amir got older he also got more mature, and I get the impression of him developing more understanding towards his father and his choices during his childhood.
All things considered Baba did not fail his son as a role model, but as a father. There are many twists in this story and I see it as unfair to judge Baba as a bad father for Amir. But in the end he was not, in my point of view, able to achieve the most crucial element of good parenthood.
There is no relationship we can define as perfect, and the cultural differences in the world make it impossible to define the one that everyone would agree on. At the same time, we may now know that the challenges in a father and son relationship is a worldwide problem, and the influence of other cultures make it even harder to find the right balance.
Sources: http://teachmulticulturallit.wikispaces.com/The+Kite+Runner http://www.boldsky.com/health/disorders-cure/2010/father-and-son-relationship-021110.html