The Loss of a Child
The Loss of a Child
I am writing to you to share how you can cope with the unexpected death of a child. It is hoped that this might help others who find themselves in the circumstances of losing a child or loved one. From our family experiencing the loss of our daughter, it really opened my eyes that don’t take anything for granted and it made me understand the saying of “Here today and gone Tomorrow”.
When death comes without warning, the shock and disbelief can be overwhelming. It is never in the natural order of things for a child to die before his or her parents, and this can be especially intense when the death is sudden and/or violent. There is no opportunity to prepare or “say good-bye.” Life for the parents and siblings is changed forever, often in an instant and it takes time for the reality of what has happened to sink in.
This is often the body’s first response to news of a sudden death. The shock presents itself much like a blow to the “core of one’s being.” A paralyzing sense of the surreal may be present, even allowing the immediate family to almost function normally, to go through a memorial service in relative calm, and to seem unable to express their grief in any visible way. This is part of the body’s natural defense mechanism, and it can take days, and most often weeks, for the bereaved to comprehend emotionally what has happened.
Part of this process is often an intense desire to know where the spirit of this child has gone so quickly. Religious beliefs are often challenged, questioned, and sometimes strengthened in the long run. Saddened parents want to reach out for a “sign” from their child, and can be highly susceptible to the power of suggestion.
Sometimes people resort to alcohol or drugs, which may provide temporary numbness, but often lead to unhealthy depression and profound loneliness.
Guilt about what might have been done to prevent the death is also normal. Parents feel their job is to protect their child, and the “what if’s,”
I am writing to you to share how you can cope with the unexpected death of a child. It is hoped that this might help others who find themselves in the circumstances of losing a child or loved one. From our family experiencing the loss of our daughter, it really opened my eyes that don’t take anything for granted and it made me understand the saying of “Here today and gone Tomorrow”.
When death comes without warning, the shock and disbelief can be overwhelming. It is never in the natural order of things for a child to die before his or her parents, and this can be especially intense when the death is sudden and/or violent. There is no opportunity to prepare or “say good-bye.” Life for the parents and siblings is changed forever, often in an instant and it takes time for the reality of what has happened to sink in.
This is often the body’s first response to news of a sudden death. The shock presents itself much like a blow to the “core of one’s being.” A paralyzing sense of the surreal may be present, even allowing the immediate family to almost function normally, to go through a memorial service in relative calm, and to seem unable to express their grief in any visible way. This is part of the body’s natural defense mechanism, and it can take days, and most often weeks, for the bereaved to comprehend emotionally what has happened.
Part of this process is often an intense desire to know where the spirit of this child has gone so quickly. Religious beliefs are often challenged, questioned, and sometimes strengthened in the long run. Saddened parents want to reach out for a “sign” from their child, and can be highly susceptible to the power of suggestion.
Sometimes people resort to alcohol or drugs, which may provide temporary numbness, but often lead to unhealthy depression and profound loneliness.
Guilt about what might have been done to prevent the death is also normal. Parents feel their job is to protect their child, and the “what if’s,”