The Subversive Nature of Women’s Communication: a Study of Women’s Use of Soft Power in Kenya.

THE SUBVERSIVE NATURE OF WOMEN’S COMMUNICATION: A STUDY OF WOMEN’S USE OF SOFT POWER IN KENYA.

WIDAVA LIANI MERCY

B.Sc. COMMUNICATION AND PUBLIC RELATIONS

Reg. No: CPR/102/08

A research project submitted to the Department of communication Studies in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the award of a B.Sc. degree in Communication and Public Relations.

School of Human Resource Development

Moi University, Eldoret

March 2012.

DECLARATION

Declaration by Candidate

This research project is my original work and has not been presented for a degree in any other university. No part of this research project may be reproduced without prior permission of the author or Moi University.

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Signature Date

Widava Liani Mercy

CPR/102/08

Declaration by Supervisor

This project has been submitted for examination with my approval as university supervisor

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Signature Date

Dr Robert Masinde

Lecturer, Department of Communication studies

School of Human Resource Development

Moi University

DEDICATION

To my parents Mr. and Mrs. Widava and my sisters Joan and Irene. Your love and support is my motivation.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

It is by God’s grace that I successfully completed this project; I am humbled by His might.

I am grateful to my parents and my sisters for always believing in me and supporting me throughout the course of conducting this research.

I am also indebted to Prof. Egara Kabaji. He is my inspiration behind this project. He trained me during my field attachment and gave me a fresh perspective on gender issues. His advice and insight helped me a lot during the writing of this research project.

I am also very grateful to my supervisor Dr. Robert Masinde whose critical comments, honest evaluations, and practical assistance helped me immensely to write this research project. His comments led to substantial improvement in the quality of this work.

I would also like to acknowledge the help I got from my classmate Bonface Nabuko. I am also grateful to Arthur for his continued support and encouragement throughout the taxing period of conducting this research.

To every other person that I have not mentioned but in different ways contributed to the successful completion of this research project many thanks.

ABSTRACT

The fact that our communities in Kenya are believed to be patriarchal is axiomatic. However, women may possibly possess more power than they are assumed to have. This study sought to identify how women subdue male dominance using soft power through the subversive acts of their communication patterns.

The study investigated the modes of executing soft power; the subversive acts of communication and why women choose to use soft power when communicating with their male counterparts. Using Eldoret town and Moi University’s main campus as the areas of data collection due to the diversity of the population, the study investigated three categories of women: mistresses, girlfriends and wives. These women were engaged in focus group discussions and formed the subjects of observation to gather data.

It was discovered that women use soft power to get all their demands met by the men. It was also discovered that women enjoy using soft power since they manage to control men and subdue male dominance. Several subversive avenues of communication were discovered. Thus, the study concluded that soft power is existent in our polity and women use it both consciously and unconsciously to subdue male dominance. However, it is so subtle that it goes unnoticed. Soft power has the possibility of driving male rights to complete oblivion.

The study recommends that there’s need for a paradigm shift in the societal perception of gender issues and the place of women. It recommends creating awareness and educating the public on gender issues to eliminate the misconceptions that surround the subject. It further recommends that institutions in the country such as media should exercise equality and objectivity in handling gender issues.

Table of Contents
DECLARATION 2

Declaration by Candidate 2

Declaration by Supervisor 2

DEDICATION 3

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 4

ABSTRACT 5

CHAPTER ONE 9

1.0 Introduction 9

1.1Background to the study 10

1.2 Statement of the problem 19

1.3 Research Objectives 23

1.4 Scope and limitation of the study 23

1.5Justification of the study 24

1.6 Assumptions of the Study 26

1.7 Theoretical Framework 26

1.8 Definition and operationalization of terms. 27

1.7 Chapter Summary 28

CHAPTER TWO 29

LITERATURE REVIEW 29

2.0 INTRODUCTION 29

2.1.0 Theoretical Framework. 30

2.1.1 Critical discourse analysis 30

2.1.2 Feminist theory 32

2.1.3 Muted group theory 33

2.2 Empirical debate. 36

2.3 Chapter Summary 47

CHAPTER THREE 48

RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY 48

3.0 Introduction 48

3.1 Research design 48

3.2 Target population 49

3.3 Sample and sampling procedure 50

3.4 Data generation techniques 51

Observation 52

Focus group discussions, FGD’s 52

3.5 Data collection procedure 53

3.6 Ethical considerations 54

3.7 Challenges encountered during the study 55

3.8 Chapter Summary 56

CHAPTER FOUR 57

DATA PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION 57

4.0 Introduction 57

4.1 The communication strategies used to execute soft power 57

4.2 The reason for using soft power 64

4.3 Contribution to the field of knowledge in gender communication. 65

4.4 Chapter Summary 66

CHAPTER FIVE 67

DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS, SUMMARY AND RECOMMENDATIONS 67

5.1 Introduction 67

5.2 Discussion of findings 67

5.3 Summary of the Findings. 68

5.4 Emerging issues 70

5.5 Recommendations 72

5.6 Suggestions for further research 72

References 73

APPENDICES 77

APPENDIX 1 77

OBSERVATION SCHEDULE 77

APPENDIX 2 78

FGD SCHEDULE 78

APPENDIX 3 79

APPENDIX 4 80

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS

UN – United Nations

ECOSOC - Economic and Social Council

MYWO – Maendeleo Ya Wanawake Organization

CEO – Chief Executive Officer

FIDA-Kenya - Federation of Women Lawyers – Kenya

CDA - Critical Discourse Analysis

FGD – Focus Group Discussion

CHAPTER ONE

1.0 Introduction

Chapter one gives an analytical overview of the research topic explaining in detail the background to the study and vividly stating the problem that this research paper aims to address. The scope and limitation of the study has been discussed in this chapter making it very easy to understand why the researcher chooses to limit the study to the particular gender aspect being researched. Other than clearly stating the objectives that the researcher intends to achieve, this chapter plays a crucial role in highlighting the significance of the study by stating a compelling argument to justify the research topic.

1.1Background to the study

Historically, women in African societies and indeed throughout the world are regarded as inferior to men. Masculinity has for a long time been believed to be the right hand in shaping the world as we know it. Most of the times, they are even regarded as the “the weaker sex”. The Holy Bible, in the books of Genesis and Ephesians promotes the autonomy of the males and the dependence of the females. These bible verses connote that men are superior to women and that the woman should respect the man as the head.

“So the Lord God caused man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.”(Genesis 2:22-23 New International Version)

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”(Ephesians 5:22 New International Version)

These texts being the seminal misogynistic texts provide both the justification and the cause of woman’s subjugation. Men have used these texts, coupled with the axiomatic physiological differences between men and women to control women arguing very strongly that women should honour them since the Holy Bible “has decreed so”. Female subordination becomes “natural” as well as punitive, (Callaghan, 1989).

African societies have been characterized as patriarchal (male dominated), (Kabaji, The Construction of Gender Through the Narrative Process: A Case Study of the Maragoli Folktale, 2005). There is an assumption that males dominate, the females are dominated upon. Women are believed to be a minority group accorded responsibilities such as tilling the land, bearing children, handling all the household chores and being entirely submissive to their husbands. “Women experience a wide range of discriminatory practices which limit their political and economic engagement as well as the enjoyment of associated rights in a number of African countries. It is therefore not surprising that at the center of the clamour for reforms in Kenya in the past two decades has been the need for greater respect for women’s rights within a new constitutional dispensation, promulgated on 27th August, 2010,” (Bridging the Gap of Access to Justice for Women in Kenya, 2010).

Many feminists in Africa and indeed the world argue that women live in an environment characterized by patriarchy and widespread male chauvinism. Such feminists include, Ellen Galford who says that:

“Women are slaves and men are masters.”

Dympna Callaghan in her book “Women and Gender in Renaissance Tragedy” states that women are viewed as being inferior to men and that female speech is equated with silence as the woman can say nothing, (Callaghan, 1989).

Others like Helen Chukwuma (2004) of Nigeria assert that women are taken for granted and their rights are nicely and safely tucked away under the bed of patriarchy. Silence and passivity was a virtue that was expected of every woman. They are icons to be won by the male while they remain in the matrix of marginalization in vital decision making, (Mwangi, 2004).Traditionally; maleness is the standard for normalcy. Men have all the economic, political and cultural power whereas women are socialized right from childhood to be inferior to men. Through this socialization; girls grow up respecting these environmental laws, norms and customs. The behaviour that boys and girls adopt is tied to their biological characteristics that are invested with cultural meanings that cannot be easily disrupted, (Mwangi, 2004). Differential socialization- a process where males and females are taught different appropriate behaviours for their gender- promotes the autonomy of the males and the dependence of females. “Women are regarded as the dependants of men, whatever the actual situation”, (Shepherd, 1993).

Many prominent African writers have also reinforced the idea that African societies are governed by male supremacy. Chinua Achebe (1958), for instance, in his books vividly portrays the man as the head of society in all spheres: culturally, economically and politically. In his book, “Things Fall Apart”, Achebe relegates women to the position of being inferior to men. The protagonist of the novel, Okonkwo is described as a man who believed that women were inferior beings in society. Their place, according to him was in the kitchen and their responsibilities were limited to minding the homes, the children and the farms. In the Nigerian society, it is believed that a woman should be seen and not heard. According to Chapman (2010), assertive behaviour from girls is often seen as disruptive and may be viewed more negatively by adults. The notion that women are living in a world dominated by men in all spheres has taken root to an extent that governments across the globe as struggling to achieve gender parity to ensure that women have similar opportunities compared to men. This belief even led to the development of the metaphor: glass ceiling. The glass ceiling metaphor refers to “the invisible barriers that impede the career advancement of women in the American workforce”, (Hymowitz & schellhardt, 1984). In an effort to give women an equal opportunity, governments such as India and Kenya have reserved a third of their legislature for women. Women are believed to be isolated and alienated. For some researchers in the field of gender, gender inequality is” the devaluation of "women" and the social domination of "men and that the continuing purpose of gender as a modern social institution is to construct women as a group to be the subordinates of men as a group, (Lorber, 1994). Aristotle, an ancient Greek philosopher, supports the notion of gender inequality arguing that men rule women. He asserts that man is superior by nature and the female is inferior therefore it logically follows that one rules another is to be ruled. He is quoted saying: “The courage of man is shown in commanding, of a woman in obeying.” However, this perception is erstwhile. Okonjo Kamene (1976), argues that the popular belief that African women are less important in the male dominated communities is a gross misconception. Gullestad (1993) argues that the assumption that women everywhere are subordinated to men is not a useful guideline in investigations of gender. Society is indeed matriarchal despite its patriarchal façade,” Chinweizu, (1990). Through strategic communication “women performers are not passive and submissive conformists to patriarchal authority but active agents of subversion”, Kabaji (2005). In fact, in a posting dated January 19th, 2011, on the Harvard Business Review blogging site, Vineet Nayar, the CEO of HCL Technologies commented that “the leadership of women in politics, business and society is becoming evident across the globe.” Women have found a way to navigate the constraints of male dominance to get what they want. Paulo Freire in his book: Pedagogy of the Oppressed asserts that, it is only through communication that human life holds meaning, (Freire, 1970). Humans use communication to address their problems. Through communication therefore, women have succeeded in liberating themselves from the patriarchy that was once thought to govern African societies. They have found a way to subvert male dominance to ensure that they thrive in society just as well as their male counterparts, or even better.

This idea is reinforced by Esther Vilar in her book: The Manipulated Man. Esther asserts that men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves, (Vilar, 1971).The central argument put forward by this book is that “women are not oppressed by men, but rather control men in a relationship that is to their advantage but which most men are not aware of”, (Wikipedia). Women therefore do not conform to male dominance, but rather subvert this dominance by manipulating men to their advantage. This manipulation does not occur directly, but rather women have developed coping strategies to maintain some measure of autonomy in their roles as daughters, wives, and mothers, (Chukwuma, 2004).These strategies enable women to have their way with their male counterparts, and the most amazing part is that they have always succeeded.

Over time, women have ended up succeeding in subverting male dominance and eventually garner control over the men. The control that the woman garners over the man is what is commonly referred to as female power. Female power is the power that women have over men contrary to general belief and acceptance. Chinweizu (1990), asserts that;

“If, however powerful a man may be, his power is used to serve the women in his life that would make dubious the notion that men are masters over women. Because every man has as boss his wife, or his mother, or some other woman in his life, men may rule the world, but women rule the men who rule the world. Thus, contrary to appearances, woman is boss, the overall boss of the world.”

Ian Maclean, (1980), objects the notion that males dominate the females. He asserts that despite all the limits on women’s freedom arising from marriage, and from theological and ethical pronouncements about female inferiority, women may have possessed greater freedom, independence and power than is generally recognized. Furthermore, Goldberg (1985), adds that women probably have more power than we imagine because of the abundance of the contradictions in the patriarchal ideology which sought to subordinate them. The idea put forth by these scholars is that the notion that women are a minority group subordinate to men is dubious. Chinweizu argues that female power does exist and that it hangs over every man like a ubiquitous shadow. Female power enables women to survive the gendered yoke. It is not as crude as other forms of power. Neither is it as direct. Just as already mentioned, it is a strategy to cope with male dominance and end up subverting it. Female power operates behind the scenes. The men, just like Vilar points out, may not easily recognize that the women in their lives are using it on them. It is very quiet and often very manipulative. This power is what I choose to refer to as soft power, the power of attraction. Soft power is a term that has been widely used in political realms when dealing with diplomatic relations among countries. The term soft power was coined by Joseph S. Nye Jr., a professor of International Relations and the dean of Harvard University’s J.F Kennedy School of Government from 1995 to 2004. He defines soft power as the ability influence or lead through persuasion or attraction, by co-opting people rather than coercing them, (Nye, 2005). It means getting others to want the same outcomes you want, and that requires an understanding of how they are hearing your messages and fine-tuning it accordingly, (Nye, 2005). The key components of soft power are attraction and persuasion. It is a means of getting results without the use of force. According to Nye, the use of soft power involves incorporating values, culture, policies and institutions of a state to such an extent that these factors are able to attract or repel other actors (states) to want what you want, (Wikipedia).

“If I am persuaded to go along with your purposes without any explicit threat or exchange taking place—in short, if my behavior is determined by an observable but intangible attraction—soft power is at work,” Joseph S. Nye Jr.

Drawing from that definition, it can be deduced that women can incorporate soft power to have their way with their male counterparts. Women understand what attracts men and use it to lure men into falling into their “traps”. Soft power does not cost anything. For women, it comes very naturally most of the times. Soft power is a unique kind of power that women have over men because it operates behind the scenes and more often than not succeeds in achieving the intended objective- subvert male dominance and ensure that the woman gets what she wants. The irony with soft power is that, whenever it is employed, the man thinks that the woman is being stupid and not utilizing her intellectual ability, yet in the real sense, the woman is fully aware of what she is doing and that her vulnerability and supposed ignorance is her greatest weapon.

Soft power is passive and self-effacing. Unlike male power that is hard, aggressive and boastful, soft power is quiet, steady and uncontestable. It whispers, manipulates and erodes. Soft power often allows women to subvert male dominance because it is subtle, manipulative and indirect. The hallmark of soft power is its ability to enable women to strategically maneuver through the constraints of male dominance. According to Chinweizu (1990), this form of power is like air. Though everywhere, it is hardly noticed. Its vastly greater might is so well entrenched, in both biology and social arrangements that it does not need to call attention to itself, and so goes largely unremarked. This all makes female power hard to see, hard to challenge, and even harder to overthrow, (Chinweizu, 1990). “You think: We men are clever. If you see womankind and watch how four or five of them sit together and tell each other things, you think: Instead of chatting here, they ought to get up, go home and cut grass. As you talk like this to each other, you think in your own minds: They are stupid and ignorant. See, my grandchild, they are not stupid. Nothing in the whole world is cleverer than the female sex. Know this: If you are as other men, you are not as intelligent as a woman ... I tell you: a woman is clever. And if you respect what is woman 's business your reputation will not suffer. And your wife will honour you, because she knows that you have learnt to keep quiet like other men.” - Teachings of the Chagga Elders of Tanzania.

In Vilar’s book: “The Manipulated Man”, the first chapter has a very satirical title: “The Slave’s Happiness”. The man is likened to a slave. He, without even noticing it, bows and scrapes before the “queen”. In this instance, soft power is at work. It is unseen, very subtle, but through it the woman gets her way. Esther Vilar portrays how easy it is for a woman to get what she wants just because of the simple truth- that she is a woman. Her illustration in this story is very interesting.

A middle aged woman gets a flat tire on the road. Mark you; she does not even have the most basic tool to change a tire- a jack. She does not worry. She stands outside the car and simply waits, making no effort to fix the problem. Then a man driving by stops. He looks at her and quickly concludes that she cannot change the tire herself. The reason being she is smartly dressed and is way too pretty to do such a task. The man gladly fixes the tire while she stands there not even paying attention because, truth be told, she really doesn’t need to learn how to change a tire. After all, the next time she gets a flat, another man will do the dirty manual labour for her. All she has to do is sit back and stay pretty. After the problem is sorted, all the woman does is thank the man, get into her car and drive off, leaving him there to clean himself up and worry about how he will make up for the lost time. It is not her problem. Weird as it may sound, the man is happy, in fact, as he drives off he starts humming to himself because, thanks to his skill and strength he has helped a “helpless woman”. The man thinks that the woman is stupid.

“Women! One 's more stupid than the next”, the man thinks to himself. Little does he know that she has everything to gain and he has everything to lose. She gets her car fixed at no cost, no pain. He has gotten his clothes and hands dirty. Being a salesman, that’s a big mistake for his job. Since he had not planned to stop for 10 minutes to fix a car tire, he will definitely get late for his next appointment. To avoid getting late, he has to drive faster than he ought to, thus risking his life because of an imminent road accident. The man is the woman’s slave, no doubt about that. “Women let men work for them, think for them and take on their responsibilities – in fact, they exploit them. Yet, since men are strong, intelligent and imaginative, while women are weak, unimaginative, and stupid, why isn 't it men who exploit women?” (Vilar, 1971).

Esther Vilar makes it very evident that women exercise a form of power over men that is so different from all other forms of power. Vilar quotes the words: typically feminine helplessness. This means that it is routine for a woman not to know how to solve her own problems since she knows that a man will be there to do it all for her. She has been socialized to get a man’s help since a man will do anything for a woman just because he is a man. Soft power manipulates men, and men rarely even notice it. It capitalizes on what appeals the most to a man. Vilar notes that women know the “right buttons to press”. In yet another epigraph in Chinweizu’s book, Marie Corelli, a British novelist writes:

“The object of woman 's existence is not to war with man, or allow man to war with her, but simply to conquer him and hold him in subservience without so much as a threat or a blow. Clever women always do this; clever women have always done it.”

The essence of soft power is to ensure that a woman subdues the man by carefully manipulating him. Indeed, the strength of women lies in their supposed marginalization. Soft power is the secret ingredient behind the new recipe for their success in today’s highly competitive and dynamic world. “How do women manage it so that their victims do not feel themselves cheated and humiliated, but rather believe to be themselves what they are least of all - masters of the universe? How do women manage to instil in men this sense of pride and superiority that inspires them to ever greater achievements?” (Vilar, 1971)

These questions define the paradigm of this research paper. Women’s communication is highly subversive. In every way women try to subdue male dominance through their communication techniques. This is what was earlier referred to as coping strategies. These coping strategies constitute what soft power is. This paper will comprehensively analyze what constitutes soft power and the extent to which women use soft power in Kenya to have their way in a society that is supposedly male dominated.

1.2 Statement of the problem

It is a matter of concern that there is a lot of crusade for women’s rights globally. The United Nations has set the 8th of March every year as the international women’s day to celebrate the achievements of women across the globe. “It is not only an occasion marked by women’s groups around the world. This date is also commemorated at the United Nations and is designated in many countries as a national holiday. When women on all continents, often divided by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, come together to celebrate their day, they can look back to a tradition that represents almost a century of struggle for equality, justice, peace and development”, (United Nations, 1995) Furthermore, the UN has a Commission on the Status of Women, CSW. This is a functional arm of the UN’s Economic and Social Council, ECOSOC, which is dedicated exclusively to gender equality and more specifically the advancement of women’s rights. Locally, a lot of emphasis is being laid on the advocacy for fighting for equality in Kenya since there is a perception that men have an upper hand. Society is ruled by the misconception that women’s rights are demonized by a largely patriarchal culture and traditions that do not favour them. It is little wonder therefore that there are numerous institutions that exist in Kenya that advocate for the “neglected” rights of women.

For starters, the recently promulgated constitution of Kenya is evidently in favour of women according them special consideration due to the notion that the society in Kenya is widely dominated by men. In a paper submitted to Moi University’s school of law by Maurice Oduor and Ruth Aura Odhiambo, the new constitution is seen to give very critical treatment to gender. It is described as one seeking to repudiate the historical exclusion of women from the mainstream society.

“As opposed to the old constitution, the new legal framework not only creates space for women to maneuver their way in the private and public sphere on an equal footing with men, but also institutionalizes direct gender specific measures that seek to correct the consequences of women’s historical exclusion from the society. Such measures include Affirmative action which seeks to elevate women to a pedestal that has hitherto been the preserve of men”, (Odhiambo & Oduor, 2010).

The new constitution, with an array of protection clauses for women is in their favour. It seeks to rectify the imbalances that women are thought have suffered throughout years of historical exclusion. It vividly represents a significant improvement in the status of women in Kenya in all spheres. The one third rule is an example. This rule gives the Kenyan women, a supposedly marginalized group, new impetus to claim their position of influence with the governance structures- a position, women in Kenya have fought long and hard for.

Other than the new constitution, there are other institutions in this country that are established to fight for women’s rights. The Federation of Women Lawyers – Kenya (FIDA-Kenya) is an organization that was established in 1985 after the 3rd United Nations conference on women in Nairobi. According to FIDA, that there is wanton discrimination against women is a fact. It is committed to the creation of a just society that is free from all forms of discrimination against women. With a mission to ensure that women are free from all forms of discrimination based on gender, sex, ethnic origin, physical disability and religious beliefs, FIDA has put the woman first. This it does through legal aid in cases involving women abused in their marriages and active legal, policy and legislative reforms to cater for women’s rights in the country. Maendeleo ya Wanawake, MYWO, is yet another organization that still advocates for “equality” of women in Kenya who are believed to be struggling through the claws of patriarchy. It aims to uplift and empower women economically so that they achieve the financial power that is believed to be exclusive to their male counterparts.

This scenario leaves a lot to be desired. Why don’t we have an International men’s day? And, even if it exists, why isn’t it as popular as the women’s “special” day? One will hear about “mothers’ day”, however when one mentions “fathers’ day”, the term even sounds unfamiliar on the tongue. It is rarely observed. Why hasn’t the UN paid as much attention to issues of men and the boy child across the globe as it does for women and girls? The constitution in Kenya is out rightly protecting women leaving men out in the cold to fend for themselves. You would not hear about the federation of male lawyers, as if men do not need someone to advocate for their rights. Worse still, Maendeleo ya Wanaume, an organization formed as an answer to MYWO, meant to cater for the rights of the men, in a society hell bent on advocating for women’s rights, much to the neglect of this gender, is dismissed and described as a greedy hate group with a hidden agenda. It is seen to be a mockery of the very real trauma many women live through, if the words of Doris Sadera (2007), are anything to go by. Media rubs salt to injury. It reports domestic violence as if it is a vice whose victims are females and the perpetrators are men. It is news for a woman to be battered by a man but it is not news when the vice versa occurs. It has made men shy away from bringing their problems to the light especially those related to domestic violence. Why are the institutions meant to promote gender parity and ensure fair representation of both sexes in society, the same ones that are neglecting men and pushing so hard for women’s rights simply because of the assumption that women are a subordinate and marginalized group?

Very little is known about how much power women actually possess. They did in traditional societies, and they still do now. Worse still, the educated woman in the modern society has more power than ever before. She is clawing her way to the top and is quickly succeeding in relegating the man to the position of complete oblivion. This is because; society is still blinded by the notion that women are vulnerable. Therefore, the modern woman has used this supposed marginalization and vulnerability coupled with the notion that she is of the weaker sex, to subvert male dominance. Women, since the era of old traditions understand what makes a man weak and they have perfected their prowess to making the man bow at her feet and literally worship her. They have perfected the art of soft power.

Sommers ( 2001), an American author known for her critique of late 20th century feminism and her writings about feminism in contemporary American culture, contends that, in the real sense, the perpetual fight for women’s rights has to a large extent disadvantaged men. She asserts that women have managed to put men on the periphery and taken the lead. In deed, Elizabeth Le Roux (2005) argues that research on gender issues limits other pertinent issues to emerge “a situation which is exacerbated by the gender bias which characterizes much policy and research,” (Roux, 2005).

This research paper seeks to answer these questions. It seeks to demystify how women use soft power to rule men. Society is governed by a misconception that women are subjugated. Very little research, if any, is done to examine how much power women actually posses. Scholars are always doing research in favour of feminism. This research will shed light on this crucial gender issue so that institutions in this country can rectify the imbalances created through the persistent push for women’s rights.

1.3 Research Objectives

• To investigate how soft power is executed through the various modes of communication that women use to communicate to their male counterparts in order to get what they want.

• To establish why women choose to use soft power to communicate to their male counterparts.

• To contribute to the field of knowledge under gender communication by providing thought provoking ideas.

1.4 Scope and limitation of the study

Soft power, the power of attraction is used by women in several instances. As Chinweizu (1990), asserted; soft power is everywhere. Women are tuned to use their ability to attract men with their natural advantages such as their bodies and beauty, to have their way and ensure that the men do whatever it is they want to get done. Women in politics use soft power. In business, soft power is employed. (That is why so many commercials will use women to advertise products and services to lure consumers). Women also employ soft power in the corporate arena to run organizations and make a statement in the perceived male dominated industry. This is just to mention a few instances. However, this research paper will focus primarily on the use of soft power by women in relationships with men. It will examine what women do to subvert male dominance and get what they want in their roles as girlfriends, mistresses, concubines, fiancées and wives. Basically, this paper centres on women who are in a sexual relationship with men. This therefore limits the study to women who are legally recognized as mature adults of sound mind, above the age of 18, and are in a sexual relationship with a man or men.

Due to the constraints of time and finances, the study will be limited to Eldoret town and Moi University’s main campus. These two locations will allow for adequate data generation due to the diversity of the population inhabiting the areas. Furthermore, the accessibility of these areas makes it manageable to achieve the target objectives.

Being a qualitative research, participants will be studied in their natural settings and controls will be highly minimized. It aims at detailed and in depth exploration of the nature of women’s communication and how they effectively employ soft power in an effort to subdue male dominance and have their way with their male counterparts.

1.5Justification of the study

Gender is a crucial aspect of our societies, especially in Africa. It “ is so much the routine ground of everyday activities that questioning its taken-for-granted assumptions and presuppositions is like wondering about whether the sun will come up”, (Goffman, 1977). Magazines, talk shows, journals, books, newspapers and even television and radio programmes lay a lot of emphasis on gender issues. “Gender is so pervasive that in our society we assume it is bred into our genes”, (Lorber, 1994). Some government decisions are even made basing on the gender aspect. Considering how crucial this issue is in society, knowledge on it is equally important. Research ought to be continuously done for new ideas to be generated on the subject. This is because; society is highly complex and dynamic. Gender issues will always shift depending on the era in society. This research therefore will contribute to knowledge in this field and goes a long way in generating thought provoking ideas that will facilitate further research. Its utility in society cannot be underestimated. A knowledgeable society is a progressive society. This paper therefore will contribute in enlightening society on gender issues and help alleviate the misconceptions that surround the subject. It will objectively analyze divergent opinions on the subject thus present a compelling argument that can be used for scholarly debate and also to an extent in crucial decision making based on gender issues. This study will be of significant importance to communication scholars who are keen on understanding the reason behind the different communication practices between men and women. It will provide both insight and an explanation for some of the questions they seek answers to. Basically, the study is educative in its own right, but it is even more valuable as a tool in illuminating the importance of understanding the nature of women’s communication. This study is also significant to institutions in society that are concerned with issues of achieving gender parity. It will aid in sound decision making and allow programme implementers to put in place measures that will effectively cater for both sexes in society to achieve equal representation of both sexes.

On a student level, this study allows the student to put into practice knowledge learnt in class. It is also a very interesting topic to handle since gender issues will always spark debate in any setting. Other than that, considering the time frame available, the topic can easily be covered within the stipulated time schedule. Furthermore, it is very easy to reach respondents with the resources available.

1.6 Assumptions of the Study

The study makes the following assumptions that it aims to establish;

• Women possess more power in society as opposed to men contrary to popular belief. This is because; their communication strategies give them an advantage over men. Those in sexual relationships with men will beguilingly control these men.

• In all communication instances between men and women, women will be striving to subdue the dominance of the male gender through the communication acts they engage in.

• Society is still misguided by the notion that women are a marginalized group and that patriarchy is the right hand in shaping society as it is.

1.7 Theoretical Framework

This study aims to investigate the behaviour of women and therefore a qualitative approach will be used. Qualitative research is done to discover the underlying motives of human behaviour. The qualitative approach is dedicated to understanding female behavior and also show the covert and overt ideas encoded in women’s communication with their male counterparts. To understand the dimensions of female use of soft power, the study will utilize two approaches of qualitative research techniques: observation and focus group discussions. Three theoretical concepts will be employed: critical discourse analysis, CDA, the feminist theory and the muted group theory. Critical Discourse analysis, CDA, is a cross- disciplinary method of inquiry. It concentrates on examining the ways in which meaning is constructed through the use of signs, the signifier and the signified. It also focuses on the relationships of power and how these power balances shape communication practices between individuals. The theory will be useful in understanding the subversive nature of women’s communication, both the overt and covert i.e. both what is said by saying and what is said without saying. The context which is also important in understanding the behaviour of women is also important since it magnifies meaning and is examined under CDA. The feminist theory will be employed and is significant to this study since it places women at the centre of the study of the communication process and offers explanation and communicative strategies used to oppress women as well as those used by women to overcome that oppression. The muted group theory focuses on the relationship between power and communication behaviour used by men and women.

1.8 Definition and operationalization of terms.

This study will incorporate the key term; soft power. This refers to the ability of women to control the men they are having sexual relationships with, without the men noticing it. Soft power will be used to refer to the strategies that women use to get what they want from men through their communication practices. The term subversive communication will also be a key term used to examine the problem. In this case, subversive communication refers to communication strategies that women use to secretly subdue male dominance. These two terms therefore are the foundation for this study. They will be used to analyze how women, despite being considered a marginalized group in society, manage to wield power over men.

1.7 Chapter Summary

In conclusion, it is important to note that, the notion that women especially in African societies are living within the constraints of patriarchy is dubious. Research in issues of gender reveals that women since the era of old straitjacketed traditions, right through the modern times of civilization, have had power over men. This power is referred to as soft power. It is a unique form of power that has allowed women to dominate societies long believed to be shaped by masculinity.

The misconception that women are a marginalized group and are of the weaker sex has led to a world wide furore for the quest of women’s rights. Countless are the number of organizations that are advocating for women’s rights, including the large and very powerful UN. This has led to the neglect of the rights of the male gender in society, (Jamah, 2012). This research paper seeks to contribute to the correction of that imbalance as vividly explained in the problem statement. The objectives of this research paper generally aim to shed light on the issue and analyze soft power, whether it is a weapon or a shield for women in Kenya. Furthermore, the study is limited to women in sexual relationships with men since the use of soft power by women can operate in very many spheres that cannot be tackled in a single re search paper.

The study will be purely qualitative in nature employing various techniques to adequately generate data to produce worthwhile results that will contribute to knowledge in the field of gender issues.

CHAPTER TWO

LITERATURE REVIEW

2.0 INTRODUCTION

This chapter discusses various literature reviewed by the researcher and that have contributed in guiding the researcher on issues that require investigations. It presents a critical and evaluative account of previous works published on the gender topic. The chapter objectively analyses arguments brought forth by other scholars, identifies the gaps in the arguments and presents the researchers standpoint vis–a-vis the gender subject in question.

A lot of research has been done on gender issues. Scientists have constantly tried to explain the phenomena they observe in the communication practices between men and women. However, the studies on the status of women vis-à-vis men in society are neither new nor have they been fully exhausted, (Simala, 1998).Despite the strength that women possess over men, the emergence of feminism has propagated the belief that women are a marginalized group. The subversive nature of women’s communication is an area in research that has not been exhausted. The literature that will be reviewed in this chapter will identify the arguments put forward by other scholars as well as the theoretical frameworks that support this research question. The literature will further identify the gaps in the research and try to identify ideas that can fill these gaps.

2.1.0 Theoretical Framework.

The theoretical framework gives the theoretical grounding for this study. This section will therefore examine theories put forward to aid in the explanation of the behaviour of women’s communication and justify the reason for subversion and the use of soft power.

2.1.1 Critical discourse analysis

Critical discourse analysis, CDA, is a cross-disciplinary method of inquiry, which studies the structures of texts and considers both their linguistic and social-cultural dimensions in order to determine how meaning is constructed. Discourse analysis also concentrates on various forms of oral communication from an interactional and ethno-methodological perspective and also investigates the relationships of power and how these power balances shape communication practices between individuals. Teun A. Van Dijk (2003), defines CDA as a type of discourse analytical research that primarily studies the way social power abuse, dominance and inequality are enacted, reproduced and resisted by text and talk in the social and political context. Discourse analysis employs methods developed in areas, such as context analysis - narratology and textual semiotics. The theory proposes that relations of power in our society affect and shape the way we communicate with each other and create knowledge. It puts into perspective the anthropological idea of 'text ' as culture to the extent that the latter allows the analysis of culture to extract a portion of ongoing social action. It draws a reifying boundary around it before inquiring into its structure and meaning: the idea that culture is embodied in a set of texts, which are handed down from generation to generation (Egara Kabaji 2005). This theory focuses on how signs are used to produce meaning. For instance, in examining soft power, CDA explains why a woman will cry when she wants a man to give her money. In this case, the crying becomes the sign which signifies a particular message. When the sign is correctly attached to what it signifies, meaning is constructed. The process of constructing meaning requires that there is a degree of shared understanding between the two participants involved in the communication act. The woman understands the man and knows what she needs to do to get his attention. In this case, crying. Power relationships are important for this study. The power dynamics that exist between men and women shape the communication behaviour. Soft power looks at the power dynamics between men and women. Women devise strategies to shift these power balances when communicating. Critical discourse analysis therefore explains the reason for the subversive nature of women’s communication. A focus on the overt and the covert is emphasized in this theory which provides a foundation for soft power. At times, are direct when communicating with their male counterparts, the overt, and at other times they say what they want from men without saying, the covert. Either way, their communication is subversive and it manages to subdue male dominance. The context is also a key factor in creation of meaning. It magnifies meaning. For instance, a woman is sitting in a thatched round hut making an evening meal for three hungry children. The mother is the only source of hope for these children. Therefore, the children see the mother as a pillar for comfort, a source of hope and a mother who would do anything in their interest. The mother then tells the children that the father does not care about her. This context makes the woman get the support of the children automatically. The children will definitely believe her. The mother will use the children as a weapon against the father. This is soft power at work. This study therefore examines the discourses revealing covert and overt social meanings created by women and ideologies embedded within their communication. The various forms of communicative strategies, for instance tears, mode of dressing, children, body movement, sex and love are examined from the perspective of CDA to understand why women choose to use soft power and how it is executed to achieve the intended purpose thus making this theoretical concept suitable for answering the research questions.

2.1.2 Feminist theory

Feminist communication theories place women at the centre of the study of the communication process and offer explanation and communicative strategies used to oppress women as well as those used by women to overcome that oppression. Moreover, the feminist theory recognizes and analyses female supremacy together with efforts to change it. The body of these theories is broad and could thus be organized into many different ways. However, for the purpose of this research paper, emphasis will be laid on language and gender as one category in the analysis of feminist theories.

Communication scholars such as Cheris Kramarae and Dale Spender began to theorize about the ways gender constrained and influenced men’s and women’s communication styles and practices. They argued that language is “man-made”- that it has been controlled by men for centuries and reflects a bias towards masculine styles of communication as well as masculine ideologies, (Miller, 2005).

The feminist theories that focus on language and gender make the assumption that language serves men better than women and therefore through language men oppress women. These scholars posit that there are expectations of how women should behave in their communication practices with men and these expectations constrain female speech. The fact that language serves men better than women could be used to explain why women choose to use soft power as a subversive means of communication to trounce over male dominance.

This theory provides theoretical grounding for this research question since it suggests that women have communication strategies that they use to overcome oppression. However, the theory presents a gap since it does not analyze the communication strategies that women use to overcome male dominance. It therefore justifies the need for this research. Furthermore, the theory makes the assumption that women are a marginalized group- a notion already rejected by this research problem. Abbot et al. (2005) criticizes the feminist theory since it does not properly explain the supposed marginalization of women. The theory fails to recognize the power that women actually possess and thus is inadequate in explaining the nature of communication between the sexes.

2.1.3 Muted group theory

The muted group theory, developed by Edwin and Shirley Ardener focuses on the ways that communication processes of dominant groups suppress, mute or devalue the words, ideas and discourses of subordinate groups. The theory suggests that a dominant group creates and maintains its dominance by stifling the speech and ideas of those labeled by the same group as “outside the privileged circle”, that is the subordinate group. Therefore, the muted group theory is used to explain the behaviour of groups and predict the outcomes in communication processes.

The distinctions among groups such as gender, race, social status, class, country of origin and ethnic background have been used to constrain and devalue the ideas of many speakers. Since these constraints are created through language and communication, the muted group theory provides a valuable framework for looking at the relationship and particularly the communication behaviour among asymmetrical groups, in this instance, men and women.

The muted group theory makes an assumption that women as opposed to men are marginalized and are therefore the muted group in society. This is due to the belief that language serves men better than women. Furthermore, research based on the theory makes it clear that speakers who are classified as the muted group by the dominant group may not necessarily acquiesce with their silencing, but resist or subvert. This means that members of the muted group may find alternative ways of expressing themselves for instance through books. Additionally, these members may themselves feel high regard for their own alternative models of talk and society and not feel muted in their own communities or with friends.

The muted group theory is useful for this research since it supports the view that women have developed a subversive form of communication to communicate to their male counterparts because society has labeled them as the subordinate group. The theory is justified to argue that women, subvert during communication processes. That they do not submissively conform to patriarchal authority but instead are active agents of subversion, (Kabaji, 2005).

However, the muted group theory is biased since it stresses too much on women being mute. It is still governed by the misconception that women throughout the world are living through the constraints of patriarchy and are a marginalized group. It fails to acknowledge the power that women have over men and that their supposed marginalization is in fact their greatest weapon. This means that, in other instances, men may actually be the muted group. Furthermore, the muted group theory fails to comprehensively explain the ways through which women subvert. It merely highlights the fact that women may not necessarily acquiesce with their silencing but does not exhaust the means through which they do this.

Research on the communication practices between men and women based on the muted group theory is therefore riddled with flaws which create a gap that this research paper aims to address. For starters, as clearly argued in the background to the study, it is not correct to assume that women in African societies as in the rest of the world will in all communication practices be the muted group. Moreover, the muted group theory leaves a crucial gap in analyzing the ways through which women subvert male dominance through alternative ways of expressing themselves and constructing their identities and ways of seeing the world. These lacunas can be filled through analysis of data generated from this research. It clarifies the misconception that women are a marginalized group and argues that women probably have more power than it is believed. It looks analyses soft power as a means through which women subvert during communication with their male counterparts. Soft power, as already explained, is the power of attraction. Women have understood the make up of their male counterparts so well to the point of having the ability to manipulate them. This they do to ensure that they rule over the men in their lives. “Women certainly know what they want from men and know exactly on which side their bread is buttered”, (Vilar, 1971). Another scholar, Bell Hooks (2000), reinforces the notion on subversion. Bell asserts that in black communities (and diverse ethnic communities), women have not been silent. Their voices can be heard. Certainly for black women, the struggle has not been to emerge from silence into speech but to change the nature and direction of our speech, to make a speech that compels listeners, one that is heard. This is the essence of subversion. The nature of women’s communication has for a long time been subversive. Much as society would think that they are a silenced group, they have always had alternative ways of communicating. Shirley Ardener, too, acknowledges that “women’s ideas or models of the world around them might nevertheless find a way of expression in forms other than direct expository speech, possibly through symbolism in art, myth, ritual, special speech registers and the like”, (Shirley, 1975). I would add that women have numerous ways of communicating to their male counterparts in a manner that makes the men fulfill all their desires however unreasonable they may be.

These three theoretical concepts thus present a valuable framework for understanding the nature of women’s communication. They facilitate the understanding of why women choose to use soft power and how hey execute it so as to subdue male dominance.

2.2 Empirical debate.

The empirical debate is concerned with examining related work that has been proven by other scholars through research. Moreover, it will give my views basing on personal experience and observation of the behaviour of women in the communication process in their roles as wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mistresses and concubines.

Many scholars have done research to investigate the various issues that constitute the gender subject. “Nevertheless, gender research in Africa has tended to focus only on women. This skewed attention has given rise to the popular but fallacious attitude that gender issues are synonymous with women’s issues”, (Kabaji,2008). When examining gender issues, there is an overemphasis on looking at the position of women as a subjugated group suffering under the constraints of patriarchy. Very little research has been done examining the power that women have over men.

Chinweizu (1990), is a scholar who has challenged the notion of female oppression and marginalization. In his book; Anatomy of female power, he argues very strongly that women have always had power over men and that their strength lies in their supposed marginalization. Women hide behind the façade of oppression and manage to subdue male dominance without attracting attention to their intrigues. He posits that feminist propaganda is striving to convince the world that women are powerless in society and that men have been naturally conditioned to oppress them.

Female power has existed in our society since time immemorial. He identifies the key pillars of female power as: women’s control of the womb, women’s control of the kitchen, women’s control of the cradle, the psychological immaturity of man relative to woman and man’s tendency to be deranged by his own excited penis. These pillars are enshrined in common sayings and jokes that most men are not even aware of the implications of those words.

“The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach”

“When his penis stands up, a man’s brain takes a French leave”

Such jokes acknowledge female power over men. A man will do anything for a beautiful woman who he desires to have sex with. If the woman can have sex with him and still manage to be so skilled in the kitchen, then she is the perfect mate. The ability to conceive crowns it all. A man will want to have this woman all to himself and any other man who shows interest in her will be seen as an antagonist, an enemy that must be extinguished. The woman understands how much the man adores her “amazing” qualities. She will dutifully do all the kitchen chores, make good meals, satiate his sexual desires and give birth to children. The man will foolishly see this as a committed woman. The woman will see this as the ultimate weapon to topple his dominance. This therefore reverses Aristotle’s view that men are more superior to women and that the courage of man is shown in commanding. That men wield power over women is a gross misconception. Women have a lot of power over men and they control men they have sexual relationships with. Chinweizu further argues that the female body is naturally very attractive to men. Women know that men are visual creatures; they therefore use their bodies to manipulate men to their advantage. When a woman wants to control a man, she will dress in a manner that brings out the best in her features, wear make up that will enhance her appearance and walk with the grace and sashay of a queen. Naturally, a man will fall for this. He asserts that after the age of puberty, “nothing disorganizes the male mind more quickly or thoroughly than the sight of the female body-beautiful”, (Chinweizu, 1990). It triggers a craving which overwhelms the male 's self-protective instincts. Women use their bodies to subvert male dominance. Chinweizu asserts that men are highly vulnerable when women use their bodies to control them. It is not easy for a man to resist the temptation of a beautiful woman. Male susceptibility to female beauty gives women a great leverage in their dealings with men; this leverage is further increased by women 's artifice. He posits that women lure men to their traps using their beauty as an erotic provocation. This makes the man yearn for the woman and thus his supposed dominance is drowned by the female body which to him is very fascinating. “The sexiness of her own body, as enhanced by glamour’s tricks, is a woman 's frontline weapon in the battle called courtship. Female codes of alluring self-presentation do vary with fashion and with culture; but their aim is the same - to provoke desire in men and lure them into woman 's traps. A woman who packages herself for that purpose, and does so effectively, is said to dress to kill. A woman dressed to kill is not dressed to kill deer, or trees, or pigeons, or other women (except with envy, of course); she is dressed to kill men. She is dressed for the man hunt; dressed to lure some foolish man close enough to plunge her love harpoon into his heart, and having smitten him, to drag him off to her victory parade, and thereafter to her nest” (Chinweizu, 1990).

Children give women a lot of power over men. “A child is probably a wife 's ultimate tool for getting, holding and exploiting her husband. It is indeed a powerful man-trapping weapon in a woman 's hands. Children magnify the power of a woman over a man,” (Chinweizu, 1990). Whether the woman is married or not, once she has children, she uses them to manipulate the man. A woman will always claim to have the interests of the children if she wants to get her way with the man. Men always succumb to this strategy. Women dictate the way in which their children grow up. More often than not, they spend more time with their children than the men. They will therefore influence the child to their advantage. The mother will ensure that she makes the child believe that mothers are vulnerable creatures and weak in the face of the father. Therefore, the child will grow up learning that whatever demands the mother makes have to be met to the latter. Indeed “as primary parents, women significantly influence children 's psychological development and emotional attachments,” (Lorber, 1994). Children are an agent of subversion for women when interacting with men. In fact, Chinweizu (1990) asserts that when a woman bears a child with a man, that child becomes a weapon for the woman every time she needs to get the man do anything she wants. When the child grows up, the woman can manipulate the child to get her everything she wants from the father. Chinweizu further reinforces this idea of women using children to subvert male dominance. Women are considered the primary parents and can therefore train children in a manner that will develop the idea that they are weak and thus need men so much. That is so because whoever trains a child in its first years shapes it for life. Woman, who rules the nursery, shapes boys and girls for life; and the ways in which she shapes boys make them what they become as men, Chinweizu (1990). Women use children in a selfish and manipulative way. For instance, when a woman quarrels with her husband, she creates a tense atmosphere in the house that her husband cannot approach her. On the other hand everything she will need from him, she will communicate through the children. This therefore denies the man pleasure of speech while the woman is having her way. Once again the man is rendered helpless. Or in a worse scenario, if a man is having an extra-marital affair with a woman, the woman will choose to tie the man down by getting pregnant. This makes it difficult for the man to denounce the “other woman” as a mere fling since societal demands will pressure the man into supporting the child and its mother. A baby can be safely be seen as a breathing, bawling, flesh-and-bones club with which a woman can beat a man down to the ground, and compel him to toil for her. Even an embryonic baby, a mere speck of a foetus in her womb, will do just fine when a woman wants to bend a man to her will, (Chinweizu, 1990) The element of soft power comes into play since a woman will not coerce a man into meeting her demands. With children, a man will inevitably find himself at the service of the woman. The woman will attract the man using something that means a lot to the man. In traditional African societies for instance, the boy child was highly valued. This is because he was the heir to his father’s legacy. He was considered brave and therefore a protector of the clan. Women bearing males for their husbands had a lot of power over these husbands. This trend is very evident especially in societies such as Nigeria. A woman who cannot bear a son for her husband was considered not woman enough. This therefore gave a woman who gave birth to sons a lot of power over a man. The man will do anything for such a woman since her has a plan to keep the “good” woman. And the woman will use his desire to keep her to her advantage. Love, feigned love, is a weapon of subversion. When a man falls in love with a woman, he becomes the woman’s slave. The woman will capitalize on the man’s desire to keep her all to himself as a tool to subdue his power. The Bible stories of Samson and Delilah and King David and Bethsheba, Uriah’s wife, are good illustrations of how love can make even the mightiest of men fall. In Samson’s case, he was a man given strength by God. His strength was so majestic that he helped the Israelites conquer all its enemies. No man knew the source of his strength except his mother. He could not be killed. The Palestinian army sent a woman, Delilah to find out the secret to his strength. She was a very beautiful woman and Samson could not help falling in love with her, this marked the beginning of his downfall and eventual demise. She managed to lie to him that she loved him very much and put on the power of seduction, still a component of soft power. Delilah managed to discover the power of his strength and revealed the secret to the Palestinian army. Samson died in the most humiliating way ever.

King David was a king famed in Israel for all his achievements. He was both powerful and God fearing. He could not resist the beauty of the woman Bethsheba and ended up sinning against God just to fulfill his desire. He ordered the killing of Uriah, Bethsheba’s husband in order to have the woman all to himself. I dare to say at this point that: the common saying “Love is blind” actually applies to men and not women. A woman will use love to meet all her needs when she finds the right man. Ever wondered why a woman who meets a very rich man will get married to the man even if he is so old that that he is twice her age? The reason is that his wealth gives her a lot of power. The old man will be stupid enough to fall in love with the woman, and the woman will take advantage of a “tree that bears money”.

Sex is the magic of soft power. Men are thrilled by it. Women have for a very long time used sex to subdue men. The reason for this is that men are naturally attracted to the female body. When a man desires a woman, the first thing that comes to his mind is sex. Men have a tendency to be deranged when they are sexually excited, Chinweizu (1990). Sex is an elemental component of soft power. A woman can conquer any man no matter how powerful he may be with this magic bullet. Women in sexual relationships with men have for a very long time and are still using sex to have their way with their male counterparts. Sex is indeed the ultimate soft power weapon for subversion. With sex a woman will get all that she wants from a man: Power, influence, attention, royalty just to mention a few. Women understand this fact and they use it to conquer male dominance if at all it exists. “It is also said that when his penis stands up a man 's brain takes French leave. Which is why a woman who wants to rule a man first gets his penis to stand up and salute her,” Chinweizu (1990: 15). When a man gets good sex from a woman, he will be naturally inclined to protect that woman at all costs. The man will do anything to retain the exclusive rights of having sex with the woman in question. First and most importantly will be other men. Men dread the idea of their women sleeping with other men. Their fragile egos simply put, cannot allow it. A man’s ego is badly bruised when he realizes that his woman is sleeping with another man. This is the reason why many men have divorced their wives when they realize that they are cheating or worse still killed them. Unfortunately for the man, the woman knows this fact all to well. His desire for sex and the vehement will to keep the woman all to himself are man’s greatest weaknesses. Women therefore manipulate men greatly using sex. She will simply threaten to deny him the precious gift or worse still, get it from another man. The argument presented by Chinweizu provides a very solid empirical debate for this research paper. This is what I choose to call: soft power. He analyses female power as power that acts behind the scenes but is more powerful than any other form of power. He gives some of the agents of soft power and why women choose to use it, thus answering the research questions. It is hereby safe to assert that men probably have never thought of the woman’s ability to cook, conceive or even merely have a beautiful body as a weapon of subversion. As Joseph S. Nye puts it soft power is the ‘power of attraction. Its main components are attraction and persuasion. Men never even notice when women are using soft power on them. It is as subtle as it is powerful. Patriarchy is a mere façade and that women have for a long time been controlling the relationships they have with their male counterparts. An American housewife is quoted saying:

“My husband may be the head of the house; I am the neck that turns the head”.

Contrary to popular belief and feminist propaganda, matriarchy has been the right hand in shaping society as it is. Just like the queen bee rules the hive, so do women rule the men they are having sexual relationships with.

Esther Vilar (1979) challenges feminism and supports the notion of subversion. She asserts that women are not oppressed by men but rather control men in a relationship that is to their advantage. Women pretend to be a “weak” sex and denied equal opportunity in society like men, but in the real sense, women enjoy their alleged inferiority in society. They possess more power than they are believed to have. Women manipulate men since they pretend to be so powerless and muted in society. Men easily fall for this trap and end up working for women and literally become their slaves. She reinforces Chinweizu’s view that women use children, sex, their supposed marginalization, the façade of patriarchy, fake love and the powers of their bodies to willfully lead men into their traps. She asserts that:

“Only woman can break the vicious circle of man’s manipulation and exploitation-but she will not do it. There is absolutely no compelling reason why she should. It is useless to appeal to her feelings, for she is callous and knows no pity. And so the world will go on, sinking deeper and deeper into this morass of kitsch, barbarism and inanity called femininity. And man, that wonderful dreamer, will never awaken from his dream” (Vilar, 1971).

Another scholar, Egara Kabaji (2005), also reinforces the notion on subversion. In a thesis submitted to the University of South Africa, he asserts that women are active performers in the struggle for space in a patriarchal society. Through the narrative process, women manage to subdue male dominance through soft power. Women make conscious and subconscious attempts to subvert patriarchy. Since women are believed to be living within the confines of male dominance, Marxist analysis suggests that, that inevitably necessitates resistance and thus the subversive nature of women’s communication is in an effort to dethrone men from their position of dominance and rule society on an equal footing with men at the very least.

However, his research primarily focuses on the elements of subversion in the narrative process Maragoli folktale, (The Maragoli is a sub tribe of the larger Luhya community and resides in Western Kenya). The nature of women’s communication has been and still is subversive. Examining it from purely from the folk tale perspective may not be adequate. Furthermore, that research looks at the element of subversion from the folk tale perspective yet the viability of folktales is fading fast with the rise in modernization. Traditional African Values are quickly fading into oblivion as society is succumbing to the pressure of social change. Western values are filtering into our traditional societies and taking the place of our norms, values and customs. Folk tales are not spared. Therefore, with the current trend, they may not be a valid basis for examining the subversive nature of women’s communication.

Evidently the notion of subversion among women is backed up by several scholars. However there are some gaps that have been identified and already mentioned that this research paper seeks to fill. All the strategies that have been discussed constitute what soft power is. It is a non- aggressive form of power that hides behind the scenes and thus operates completely in oblivion. In fact, soft power is easy to execute since for women it comes naturally most of the times. Soft power as a subversive means of overriding male dominance has become so ubiquitous that men usually fail to notice it. In her epigraph of Chinweizu’s book: “Anatomy of Female Power” Regina Joseph, a Nigerian columnist asserts that: “What woman hasn 't been able to wrap a man around her fingers, if she puts her mind to it?” Women’s strategies of soft power are so easy to observe. For instance, crying is a very common subversive strategy. Women’s tears are so easy to show that a woman who is not getting what she wants from her man needs to simply blink and will immediately restore the balance in the relationship- the balance being-the woman always getting her way with the man. When she cries, whether genuine or not, (of course most of the times it is purely meant to make the man grant her wishes), the man will naturally bow to her will. This is a common behaviour of women when communicating with men. Naturally, a man cannot stand seeing a woman crying and they lose their masculinity and attend to her needs. Societal instilled fear is another weapon that women use to subdue men. As society is undergoing rapid social change, there’s a shift in perceptions. Traditionally, not only was it acceptable for a man to batter his wife, but it was also seen as a re-affirmation of the man’s authority over the woman- which was a good thing since it was a show of masculinity. Today, a man who beats up his woman is perceived as weak, illiterate and not a gentleman. Therefore, the modern man will want to avoid any physical confrontation with his wife or girl friend or fiancé. Since women know this, they push their men to the extreme knowing fully well that there is very little the man can do about it. Most traditional African societies had beliefs in curses especially from women especially matriarchs. Traditionally, women have capitalized on men’s fear of curses to subdue male dominance. For example, “the vagina curse” among the Luhyia is one of the fears that men have that women have used to their advantage. Kabaji (2008) describes this curse as a dreadful curse against men. When a woman removed her underpants and hit her thighs referring to her vagina, then the man who had led her to that level of frustration would come to no good. This notion may not really hold in the modern society. However if a woman who is so conservative gets married to a man who is similarly oriented, then the woman would use his fear for the vagina curse to subdue his dominance and make him bow to her will. Furthermore, institutionally instilled fear has propagated the use of soft power by women to conquer their male counterparts in the clamour for space in an allegedly male dominated society. Such institutions include the media which as already explained in the statement of the problem portrays gender violence as a vice perpetrated by men and women are the helpless victims. Others are FIDA, MYWO and the recently promulgated constitution of Kenya. Men and their rights have been drowned by the furore to fight for women’s rights. Society is so much on their case as they are viewed as violent beings out to hurt women. The fear instilled in them has made women trounce over them mercilessly. Numerous researches have been done on the subversive nature of women’s communication. One crucial element comes up, that women have for a very long time been communicating to their male counterparts in a way that intends to subdue patriarchy. Women have long been associated with both fickleness and the power to beguile, (Bow, 2001). Women use very many soft power approaches to control the men they have sexual relationships with. Such may include, silence, music, tonal variation in conversation, praise, touch, colour and even prayer. However it is important to note that, soft power is executed by women depending on the uniqueness of every scenario. It is therefore important to assert at this point that soft power is context specific. It is as dynamic as the circumstances that men find themselves tied to a woman as a girlfriend, mistress, fiancée or wife. It will therefore never be uniformly executed even if the women are in the same category. Furthermore, it is not easy to name all the elements that constitute what soft power is. This research paper therefore will aim to gather as much information as possible from women so as to try and come up with an adequate summary of the components of soft power that women use. The theoretical framework and the empirical debate provide grounding for this research paper. The issue of subversion in the communication of women has been examined critically giving both the supporting facts and the gaps that previous works have left.

2.3 Chapter Summary

The chapter gives a sound theoretical framework that examines three crucial theoretical concepts namely: critical discourse analysis, the feminist theory and the muted group theory. Empirical data has been invoked for the empirical debate. Scholars who have done research have been cited and their works objectively analyzed. The researcher has exhaustively demystified the concept of soft power by analyzing the various dimensions taken by various scholars to put the idea across. The gaps in the researches done have also been identified in every research and this forms the basis or need for this research paper in a bid to gather information to fill these gaps.

CHAPTER THREE

RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY

3.0 Introduction

This chapter analyses the approach, methods and population that was studied in order to answer the research questions. Kothari (2004) posits that the research design is concerned with the issues of what, where, when, how much, by what means the research process will be conducted. A research design is the conceptual framework within which research is conducted and gives an overview of the methods of data collection, measurement and analysis of data. Research methodology on the other hand is “a way of systematically solving the research problem”, (Kothari 2004). The research design will also be discussed in this chapter. The appropriateness of the design will be addressed. This chapter will discuss the sampling procedure used and also outline the merits and demerits of the data generation techniques. The ethical considerations of the research process are also discussed.

3.1 Research design

This study adopted a qualitative approach. It was essentially a study concerned with investigating the nature of women’s communication. The study aimed to exhaustively examine women’s communication behaviour when communicating with their male counterparts. The study employed the ethnographic research design. Ethnographic research uses extensive participant observation which is the major source of data generation for this study. This research design is suitable for this study since human behaviour can be best explained by observing the participants in their natural settings where controls are highly minimized. The methods of data collection for this research design were observation and focus group discussions. These data generation techniques for this design were effective since they allowed for an interactive approach to gather data from the respondents through the focus group discussions thus eliciting varied ideas. Observation made it easy for the researcher to gather information without exerting pressure on the respondents. Ethnography allowed for a comprehensive examination of the behaviour of women when communicating to their male counterparts and therefore helped the researcher pick out all the subversive acts in their behaviour. Soft power can thus be best examined using this research design.

3.2 Target population

Hamel, et al, (1993), defines a target population as a well-defined collection of individuals or objects known to have similar characteristics. All individuals or objects within a certain population usually have common observable characteristics.

The research targeted women who are legally recognized as mature adults of sound mind, above the age of 18, and are in a sexual relationship with a man or men. The participants were drawn purposively from Eldoret town and Moi University’s main campus. The populations in these two regions are diverse and thus allowed for adequate data generation due to the varied responses received.

However, it is important to note that it is for the benefit of the population that researches are done, in that it provides solutions to existing problems as well as predicting trends that are reliable and applicable practically to the population where the study is undertaken. However, due to the large sizes of populations, researchers often cannot test every individual in the population because it is too expensive, difficult to manage in terms of data collection, can lead to duplication of results and time-consuming. This therefore necessitated the need for a sampling procedure to facilitate data generation from the target population.

3.3 Sample and sampling procedure

As already explained, not all the individuals can be tested within the target population. When a research problem is put through the research process, considerations of time and cost almost invariably lead to a selection of respondents i.e., selection of only a few items. The respondents selected should be as representative of the total population as possible in order to produce a miniature cross section as possible, (Kothari, 2004). Sampling therefore is the process of selecting a number of individuals for a study in order to secure a representative group which will enable the researcher get information for the entire population.

Stratified random sampling was used to organize the target population. It involved dividing the target population into homogenous groups and then picking respondents randomly from the subgroups. The population required for the study was highly heterogeneous. It consisted of women who were in different relationships with men. Some were married, others were engaged, others were mistresses and others were simply dating, i.e. girlfriends. The population was thus stratified into strata of married women and fiancées, mistresses and girlfriends. This meant that each stratum was formed on the basis of common characteristics of the individuals in that stratum. This was done with the aim of achieving individually more homogeneous groups from the total population. Out of each stratum, a sample was picked out. Fifty women (50) who were in relationships with men as girlfriends, twenty (20) married women and ten (10) mistresses were interviewed.

The sampled population of eighty (80) women was also used for observation. The population was also used to gather information through observation. The behaviour of these women was observed in their natural setting and no controls were introduced. This was done to give the researcher an opportunity to gather data from any woman falling within the sample population an equal opportunity to be a subject of study. This allowed for real facts since the women did not know that they were being investigated.

Stratified random sampling was advantageous because, it enabled the researcher to achieve more statistical precision as opposed to simple random sampling. However, it presented a high likely for some groups to be unselected if the population was not carefully stratified.

3.4 Data generation techniques

When selecting the research instrument, the researcher considered the following factors:

❖ The nature and scope of the research problem: the methods for generating data should suit the research problem and ensure that the research problem is adequately answered.

❖ Availability of funds: the method should be one that is economically feasible for the researcher.

❖ Time factor: the technique should ensure that the researcher collects adequate data within the stipulated time frame.

The study found it imperative to use techniques that are used for qualitative research and those that will give respondents an opportunity to give comprehensive responses and allow for exhaustive data collection. The following instruments were used to generate data:

Observation

This method is effective for collection of data in qualitative research since it facilitates the studying of behavioural tendencies within the target population. The researcher seeks information through direct observation without asking from the respondent. Participants are therefore studied in their natural settings and therefore their behaviour is seen in its very original form. This method was seen to be effective for this research since;

The data collected is first hand thus there is minimal error if observation is done accurately. Secondly, the information gathered was current and not complicated either by the past behaviour, or future intentions or attitudes of the respondents. Thirdly, this method is independent of the respondents’ willingness to respond and thus it is relatively less demanding of active cooperation on the part of the respondents as happens to be the case with the interview or questionnaire method.

Unfortunately, this method was expensive and time consuming as the researcher has to be physically present where the target population exists. For the observation among women in Main campus, this method did not prove expensive since the researcher could simply observe behavioural trends as part of the daily routine. However, financial constraints came in when the researcher had to make several trips to Eldoret town to observe participants in their natural settings.

Focus group discussions, FGD’s

The focus group discussion consisted of closed-ended questions as well as open-ended questions asked by the researcher. These discussions were conducted in an informal manner where the researcher interacted with the respondents in students in their rooms in campus hostels, with women in the salon and in the market and with friends at leisure and recreational places such as hotels, restaraunts and clubs. It was aimed at casually obtaining information on how women communicate with their male counterparts in order to get what they want and in order to subvert male dominance.

The focus group method was chosen because of the following factors:

• Information collected was accurate since women spoke out freely when they meet others thus they easily a sense of belonging and commonality. In such settings, they do not see the need to lie about their experiences in their relationships with their male counterparts.

• It presents a forum that brings women together so there is an opportunity to get varied answers. FGD’s therefore allowed the researcher to gather data rich in ideas and enabled the researcher to understand the attitudes and opinions of the respondents. It is therefore more detailed as opposed to questionnaires

• It Presented the researcher with an opportunity of getting immediate and timely feedback

• It was use to assess qualitative characteristics since the researcher was able to observe the behaviour of women engaged in the discussions.

3.5 Data collection procedure

The researcher collected the data by taking notes during the process of observation. During the FGD’s, the researcher recorded the responses from the respondents and took notes.

3.6 Ethical considerations

According to Shamoo & Resnik, (2009) ethics is a method, procedure or perspective for deciding how to act and for analyzing complex problems and issues. He adds that there are reasons why it is important to adhere to ethical norms in research. These reasons include promoting the aims of the study, promoting values that are essential to collaborative work, its importance to moral and social values and accountability to the public.

In conducting this study, the researcher paid attention to the following ethical considerations:-

Honesty was a guiding ethical principle to this research. Reported data, results, procedures and the publication status were done with all honesty. The researcher reported data as collected in the field, used the procedures mentioned above and administered as explained. This therefore ensured that the individuals involved were not deceived by both the results and the questions asked. The collected data was interpreted correctly without any fabrication whatsoever. Furthermore, the researcher was very honest with the respondents. Before responding to any question or contributing to the process of data collection, the respondents were made fully aware why the research was being conducted and they were also given the right to participate out of their own free will after understanding the nature of the research. In this regard, the researcher maintained high standards of honesty, as much as possible.

The researcher also maintained respect of intellectual property. Credit and acknowledgement was also given for all contributions that were used to acquire information for the research. No plagiarism was done in the research process. All sources used to gather information were clearly cited.

Confidentiality and privacy of data, sources, and any confidential communication was highly maintained. Respondents’ information and feedback was treated with utmost confidentiality. For example, the responses from the women who participated in the FGD’s were purely used for answering the research question. The information was neither exposed to their male partners nor to the general public.

Discrimination as a social consideration in any responsible research was put into consideration and practice by the researcher. Respondents were not discriminated against in terms of religion, cultural background, their mode of dressing, communication code, courses they were studying and other factors that were not related to their scientific competence and integrity of the study. This could interfere with the type of results that would be acquired from the field.

3.7 Challenges encountered during the study

During the study, the researcher encountered challenges that interfered with the expeditious collection of data. These challenges were;

• Some respondents were unwilling to respond freely during the FGD’s. This made it difficult for the researcher to generate data from the entire population that was sampled.

• It was difficult to gather information through observation among married women and mistresses. This was because most married women were uncomfortable having the researcher visit their homes to observe their communication behaviour with their husbands. Most of them said that they communicate with their husbands mostly in private so that the children do not meddle into their affairs. The mistresses on their part only met with their partners on specified dates and therefore the researcher had a difficult time adjusting her schedule to conform to the times for the dates that these mistresses had planned with their partners.

• Financial constraints hindered exhaustive collection of data. The researcher could not meet all the respondents since some of them lived far away from the central business district of Eldoret town.

• Time was also limited due to the pressure from class assignments and revision.

• Language barrier was an obstacle during data collection. During the FGD’s, the women who did not have formal education only understood their native languages and their Kiswahili was not good enough to allow for smooth flow of communication. This led to the need for an interpreter who was not easy to find. It also wasted time.

3.8 Chapter Summary

This chapter gives the research design that was deemed suitable for this research topic. The research took a qualitative approach applying the ethnographic research design in order to exhaustively examine the behaviour of women when communicating to their male counterparts especially through observation which also included FGD’s. The target population is clearly defined in this chapter together with the sampling procedure used to organize the population. Ethical considerations, which are crucial to any research, are outlined to indicate the suitability, validity and reliability of this study.

CHAPTER FOUR

DATA PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION

4.0 Introduction

This chapter presents an analysis and interpretation of the data collected. The collected data will be discussed in reference to the research objectives. The researcher confirmed the behaviour observed among the women during the FGD’s and thus data is discussed mainly basing on the responses given during the FGD’s that were conducted with the various women.

4.1 The communication strategies used to execute soft power

It was discovered that the modes of executing soft power are limitless among women. All the 50 women who were in relationships with men as girlfriends admitted that they use soft power over these men. They added that without soft power you cannot “handle” a man. One of the respondents said:

“Ai kwani kuna njia ingine ya kuwaweza, ni hiyo tu. Kuwachezea shere ndio jibu.”(Swahili)

“Is there any other way to manage men, that’s the only means. Acting behind the scenes is the answer.” (English).

These women all said that sex was the greatest weapon that they use to subdue male dominance. When a man wants to get sex from a woman he can do anything for the woman. This becomes a weapon of subversion since the woman will deny the man the precious gift until the man fulfills all her desires.

All the girlfriends said that they seduce their men through their manner of dressing. They dress in a manner that provokes desire in the man. The man gets a vehement desire to touch her and feel her skin since this will give him a lot of pleasure. The woman has then achieved her purpose; to make the man desperately want her. She will make the man very weak and cloud his judgement since his desire to have the woman overpowers his ability to think clearly. The woman will name her demands and the man will promise to fulfill all these demands without even thinking through what he is promising to do. Soft power, the power of attraction is carefully executed. The women manage to subdue the men’s dominance since they manage to make them weak with their bodies.

45 out of the 50 girlfriends said they used the man’s lack of cooking skills as an agent of subversion. Most of them were college students and they said that since young men don’t like cooking for themselves in college, they rely on their girlfriends to get a meal. The girlfriends therefore use this to exploit these men. They make the young men do shopping for the house and at times they make the men feel as though they are using them and therefore in an effort to help, the men are made to clean the dishes. They admitted that when these men are hungry they are desperate to get food, they will flood their girlfriends with compliments, dedicatedly go to the market to get the food and stand there talking to the women as they make the food. One respondent in Moi University main campus said:

“Mbona nichomwe na jua kwenda mama mboga ilhali kuna mwanamume wa kufanya hiyo kazi. Akitaka chakula lazima ajibidiishe,” (Kiswahili).

“Why get scorched by the sun going to get groceries yet there is a man to do that work. If he wants to eat, he must work hard,” (English).

Only five women said that their boyfriends know how to cook. This shows just how much women can use the power to control the kitchen to control men. Very few men have the ability to make a decent meal, unfortunately for them; all of them love a good meal that can adequately satiate their hunger. This makes women manipulate them.

The women in this stratum also said that crying is a common and effective weapon to subdue male dominance. All the fifty women admitted that crying has helped them make the men in their lives bow to their will. These women admitted that they cry like babies and this makes the men feel sorry for them. Feeling sorry for them guarantees that the women will get everything they want from the man. This strategy is especially used when the woman wants to get money from the man.

Songs were also used as agents of subversion for these women. They admitted that the popular rhythm and blues, popularly known as R’n’B music was used to communicate to their men. For example one respondent said that when she wants her man to help out with the house chores she sings the lyrics to a song that will make the men come to lend a hand without her asking for his help. The song she says is called “I’m a woman” sang by a popular musician called Toni Braxton, (Appendix 3). Yet another respondent said that music communicates to her boyfriend very effectively. If she suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, she plays music that communicates that she knows that he is cheating and that what he is doing is not right. she organizes the playlist on her laptop in a very creative way that will make her boyfriend know what she is angry about without her needing to tell him. She said she loves singing a song by a group of musicians called “Simple Plan” and the song is called “Your love is a lie”, (Appendix 4).

Threats were also cited as a means of subversion. These women admitted that they threaten their boyfriends in a very subtle manner that manages to get them the attention that they desperately need from their boyfriends. Young men have a fear of commitment. They are especially afraid of having babies at their age, especially those who are still in college and depend on their parents for financial support. Women know this fact way to well. When they want to get money, especially, they lie to their boyfriends that they suspect that they are pregnant. They will carry this lie along and get all the attention and all the money they can squeeze out of the young man allegedly responsible for the pregnancy. They will execute the plan so well that after sometime they may get a “miscarriage” or they will find another creative means of making the young man forget all about this “pregnancy”. A lie after another, carefully executed. Indeed women are creative.

Silence is a major weapon of subversion among these women. They communicate what they want by keeping silent. When women keep quiet, men get anxious. These women admitted that when they keep quiet and unresponsive these men find themselves confessing and thus the woman attacks the man with his own confession.

Young women admitted that friends are a major avenue for subversion. These women said that they use their friends to get to their boyfriends. All the 50 women admitted that they tell their friends information to give their boyfriends. One respondent in fact said that every time she thinks her boyfriend has ignored her she goes to hide at her friend’s place and makes the friend call the boyfriend and lie to him that she has either disappeared or she is not feeling well. This is meant to raise unnecessary alarm but it still gets her the attention she wants.

Married women were the most candid. They gave very candid responses in the focus groups discussions that were conducted. When they gather, they felt like a united front and this made them open up more about the subversive acts that they use to communicate to their husbands. However, their acts of subversion were not very evident through observation since they admitted in the FGD’s that soft power is executed very silently and creatively in a marriage context. All the 20 women admitted that, if their husbands discovered their “secret weapon” the marriage would suffer a great deal and the children will be the worst affected.

Out of the 20 women, 17 had been married for over 6 years and had at least one child. Only 3 women were married for less than 3 years and had no children. 7 women had gone through formal education up to university level. 8 had gone through tertiary colleges and had permanent jobs as secretaries, accounts clerks, office messengers and small business managers. 5 women did not have any formal education and were very conservative holding on to traditional lifestyles, customs and norms.

The women who were mothers admitted that children are their greatest weapon of subversion. They said that children help them get most of their needs from their husbands. For example, most of them admitted that when there was conflict between themselves and their husbands, they used children to ask the husband to give money for household needs. They also admitted that they influence their children to view their fathers as violent and harsh and that them as the mothers were meek and vulnerable. This made them get a lot of support from the children.

Married women also said that the current constitution has given them a lot of power over their men. They admitted that when their husbands “mistreat” them, they threaten to leave knowing fully well that they are entitled to half of the property that the couple owns. This has made men fear a lot since most husbands do not want to see the wealth they have worked so hard for being split into two. Others do not want to see the children torn in between legal battles between the parents.

Sex was also cited as a major agent of subversion. Married women admitted that their husbands would feel very deprived if they were not sexually satisfied and this also wounds their fragile egos. They therefore denied their husbands sexual gratification until they get what they want.

The conservative women said that they used traditionally instilled fear to subdue male dominance. A woman from Kisii said that in their tradition, it is believed that when a woman makes chapati and she sits on the chapati before her husband eats it, then the woman has managed to tame the man forever. She admitted that she did this to her husband over three years ago and the man has never strayed. Neither has he ever thought of bringing a second wife to the home. Another woman from western Kenya, precisely a Maragoli talked about the vagina curse. She said that men in the Maragoli community men fear the women they are having sexual relationships with since they have the ability to curse them through the vagina curse. With this curse, a man will never be able to have children. The fear instilled in men through these traditions is therefore used as an avenue for soft power. (The vagina curse is a dreadful curse in Luhya land. The potency of this curse lies in the fact that the mysteries of the vagina that have never failed to astound men. The vagina is revered as an organ that gives life and thus any curse arising from this organ can be very severe, (Kabaji, 2008)).

Married women also admitted that they use silence as a weapon for subversion. When their husbands offend them they shut them out through silence. This weapon always work since the husbands cannot sustain silence for so long and will initiate conversation which will give the woman an opportunity to manipulate the man through her words. The woman will attack the man’s conscience by endless lamenting and the man will listen to all her woes and this will end up subduing his dominance since her will grant all her wishes.

Prayer is a major weapon of subduing male dominance. These women said that they use prayer when they want the man to feel guilty for something he has done that goes contrary to biblical expectations. All the women said that they used prayer especially when they suspected that their husbands are having extra-marital affairs. One respondent said that this helps her stop the habit for a few months then when the man goes back to his old habits she prays again. Now, the unique aspect about this praying is that women will choose to pray at very crucial points especially when the man is about to leave the house. A working class wife admitted that this trick, unfortunately works. It is unfortunate because, prayer in this instance is a trick just to subdue male dominance. This is how she said she prays every morning before they leave the house with her husband:

“Dear Lord, I thank you for this day and for my husband that you destined for me. I pray that as we leave this house enable both of us to remember our marriage vows, be faithful to each other and protect my husband from all forces out there that plan on breaking our beautiful marriage. In Jesus name, Amen.”

The mother-in-law was also used as an agent of subversion. Women used their mothers to communicate to their husbands. All the 20 women admitted that they use execute soft power through their mothers. They manage to do this since their husbands have a lot of respect for their mothers-in-law and will thus try and please them at all costs. If a woman thinks that its time to have another baby, she tells her mother who in turns pays the family a “visit” to deliver the message. In cases where the woman has suffered violence from the man she reports this to the mother and the fear of being condemned and cursed the man avoids doing this evil act. This is soft power at work. The mother in law enables the woman to subdue male dominance.

Mistresses all agreed that they understand their role in the lives of the men they have sexual relationships with. They therefore said that sex was the greatest weapon of subversion for them. All the 10 women who participated in the FGD’s admitted that given their role in their relationships with men, soft power has to be executed very carefully since they are easily dispensable. All of them said that sex was a very powerful tool since the men they were having affairs with were married and were sexually starved in their marriages. They said that they perfected the art of having sex so that the men find it irresistible. They then withheld the sex from the men if the men did not meet their needs.

Dressing was highlighted as a subversive mode of communication. These women admitted that they dress in a very seductive manner that makes the men very weak and thus cannot resist their charm. This they said was an easy means of executing soft power.

Silence was not an option for them. Mistresses admitted that their male counterparts turn to them when they need some fun to escape the monotony and boredom of their marriages. These women said that when they kept quiet and unresponsive the men would leave and go home to their wives. Silence could therefore not be used as a means of wielding soft power over men for the mistresses.

Mistresses admitted that they used the threat of exposing the married men to their wives as a tool for subversion. They said that they threaten the men in a very subtle manner to make the men meet their demands. They also threatened the men by feigning pregnancy.

4.2 The reason for using soft power

All the 80 women admitted that they used power in order to get everything they want from the men. These women said that men are chauvinistic and think that they are superior to women. These women therefore admitted that soft power has helped them subdue male dominance. With soft power, women control the men they are having sexual relationships with. They feign weakness and vulnerability and thus control these men behind the scenes. All the women admitted that this strategy gives them a lot of pleasure.

Girlfriends admitted that they use soft power to get attention from their boyfriends. They asserted that men are not emotional beings and therefore without soft power these men can completely forget about their need for attention in the relationship. They also admitted that they use soft power to get their boyfriends to meet all their demands.

Married women admitted that they used soft power because they called their husbands; “difficult”. They said that their husbands believe so much in the fact that they are the “heads of the house”. This makes them behave in a controlling manner and therefore these women use soft power to manipulate them to their advantage. They also said they use soft power to reaffirm their place in the marriage since many years of marriage make the men easily forget to treat them as “special” and this becomes boring. Soft power thus adds some spark to the marriage.

Mistresses said that they use soft power to get money from their partners. They admitted that the reason they were in relationships with married men was because these men were rich or claimed to be rich and therefore they used soft power to control these men in order to get money from them to sustain their lives.

4.3 Contribution to the field of knowledge in gender communication.

The findings in this study unmasked the reason behind the communication behaviour of women when communicating to their male counterparts. The findings gave some of the strategies that women use to subdue male dominance through communication. These findings provoke thought into women’s communication thus the need for further research. Scholars of gender communication can use these findings as the basis for their studies.

4.4 Chapter Summary

This chapter analyzes the findings in relation to the research objectives. This was meant to establish whether the findings helped the researcher to answer the research objectives. Being a qualitative research, the findings were presented in a discussion form.

CHAPTER FIVE

DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS, SUMMARY AND RECOMMENDATIONS

5.1 Introduction

This chapter will discuss the findings, summarize these findings and give recommendations vis-a-vis the study topic. The chapter will also give suggestions for further research.

5.2 Discussion of findings

Women’s communication has for a long time been subversive. Soft power has been used to subdue male dominance. The strategies that women use are so subtle that men do not even realize that they are subversive acts. Crying for instance is seen to be a very natural act that women use to show that they are hurting. However, women have long used this act to subvert male dominance. Men will view it as a sign of weakness among women. For women however, it gets the results they set out to achieve.

From the findings, it is evident that soft power is very subtle and its most prominent feature is the fact that it occurs almost naturally. Men do not realize when they bow to the women’s will without questioning and grant the women all their desires. Women use soft power both consciously and unconsciously to control the men they are having sexual relations with. This power is wielded over men in the same manner though there are some strategies that change depending on the relationship that the woman is having with the man. Agents of subversion such as sex, mode of dressing and tears are uniform across the board. However, children, silence, the mother-in-law, music and prayer are highly context specific.

It is therefore at this point, safe to assert that women understand the right “buttons” to press and how much power they have over men. With the rise in civilization and modernity, they are becoming more and more empowered. They understand that society is still misled to believe that they are a weaker sex. Women therefore capitalize on their supposed marginalization to execute soft power without the men realizing that they are being manipulated.

5.3 Summary of the Findings.

This study set out to investigate the subversive nature of women’s communication and focused on the use of soft power as a tool to subvert male dominance. Women in relationships with men use several subversive acts to communicate with men. All the women admitted that soft power has had one hundred percent success rate. When they use it, they are guaranteed to have their demands met by the men. Soft power is easy to execute since women use what they are endowed with. For instance, women use their bodies and the means of dressing to subdue male dominance since men find the female body alluring. Women also successfully execute soft power since men assume that they are a weaker sex and thus do not pay attention to their subversive acts of communication. Women admitted that when they cry men assume that it is a sign of weakness yet in the real sense, they are out to subdue male dominance by getting sympathy from the men.

Women also use these subversive acts depending on the context. Thus subversive communication is highly context specific. Their situations determine how soft power is executed and what subversive acts women engage in. Some modes of communication are uniform across the board but others are highly context specific. For instance, married women use children and the mother-in-law to subvert their husbands’ dominance. However, girlfriends and mistresses do not frequently use children and mothers-in-law as avenues of subversion. This is because most girlfriends admitted that they abort the pregnancies since they were not ready to have children. Only 3 out of the 50 admitted that they had children but said that they do not use them as tools of subversion. Mistresses said that getting pregnant with married men was out of the question. Only 1 out of the 10 had a child and admitted that the pregnancy was unwanted. She said that she has never thought of using the child to manipulate her partner. Both mistresses and girlfriends do not have mothers-in-law thus cannot use these avenue to subvert male dominance. It was also discovered that silence as a weapon of subversion cannot be used by mistresses since they have affairs with married men who are escaping the monotony and boredom of their marriages. For, mistresses however, threatening to expose the man ensured that the married men in question would do anything for the woman to win her silence so that his extra-marital affair stays secret. Silence can only be used by girlfriends and wives who admitted that this strategy always works. Prayer was also used mainly by married women. Mistresses and girlfriends said that they never use prayer to subvert male dominance. In fact mistresses admitted that the fact that they are having affairs with married men is already sinful and thus prayer would only make then feel guiltier. Girlfriends admitted that prayer for them is not even an option since young men do not pay a lot of attention to it. They added that if they prayed their boyfriends would simply laugh it off. Girlfriends however found a lot of power in using music (R n’ B) and threats of pregnancy to subdue their boyfriends’ dominance over them.

Sex, mode of dressing, ability to cook and beauty were the greatest weapons of subversion. Women admitted that men are visual creatures and therefore anything that appeals to the sense of sight is welcome. All the women admitted that seduction is one sure weapon to subdue male dominance. With seduction, women manage to get the men have sex with them and this guarantees that the man will grant the woman all her wishes. All the women also admitted that threats are also an avenue for subversion.

For all the respondents, soft power was used to subdue male dominance and this gave all this women a lot of pleasure during execution since society is misled to believe that women are the weaker sex. Thus hiding behind the cloud of supposed marginalization gave them a lot of power. Girlfriends added that they use soft power to get attention from their boyfriends since young men are easily distracted with sports and clubbing. Married women, other than subduing male dominance used soft power to counter the chauvinistic nature of their husbands. Their husbands were all banking on the biblical fact that they are the heads of the house and thus married women used soft power to counter the intimidation caused by this notion. Mistresses simply used subversive means of communication to get money from their partners since that was the only reason they had affairs with married men. None of the mistresses admitted to be in love with the man. All of them admitted that they have affairs with married men who had lots of money or had an aura of wealth around them.

These findings adequately met the research objectives. The findings gave the subversive acts of communication that women use as avenues of executing soft power. The researcher was also able to establish why women choose to use soft power when communicating to their male counterparts.

5.4 Emerging issues

From the findings, it is evident that Society is still living with the misconception that women are a marginalized group. This is why numerous institutions in Kenya such as FIDA and the Ministry of Gender are still clamouring for the fight for women’s rights. The male gender has been widely neglected. Women’s use of soft power is so subtle that it goes unnoticed among the men that they are having sexual relationships with. Thus they are still viewed as the weaker sex and they use this position to their advantage to manipulate men.

It was also discovered that, women have understood the psychological make up of men so well that they know exactly what to do to subdue their dominance. This therefore is a disadvantage to the men since they are no longer in control of their relationships with girlfriends, wives or mistresses. They therefore do not have a say, the women literally “call the shots”.

The findings also revealed that women capitalized on the institutions in the country that protect their rights such as the constitution, FIDA and the media to execute soft power. They especially capitalized on the constitution that accords them special privileges to threaten their husbands and subdue male dominance. For instance, the clause that accords women half of the property that the couple owns in the case of dissolution of the marriage is a major disservice to the men. This especially favoured women who were unemployed. They threatened to end the marriage knowing fully well that they would be entitled to their husbands’ wealth. Women also capitalize on the protection they get from FIDA to manipulate men to their advantage.

The findings also revealed that very little is known about how much power women actually possess. Very many people especially men still believe that patriarchy is still the right hand in shaping society as it is. Soft power is an area that has not been explored to understand the dimensions of women’s power over men.

5.5 Recommendations

This study recommends that women should execute soft power fairly and not in a selfish manner to manipulate men to push for their own interests. Soft power should be used to enhance the relationships between men and women.

Extensive education and awareness should be done on the gender subject. This should be done through radio and television advertisements, social media such as twitter and Facebook, campaigns, road shows and introduction of the gender subject in the school curriculum. This will help to alleviate the notion that women are a weaker sex. This will also help society to understand soft power and appreciate its existence in our polity. This way, soft power will not be more beneficial and enhance communication between men and women.

5.6 Suggestions for further research

This study purely investigated women’s use of soft power in their relationships with their male counterparts. Research ought to be done on women’s use of soft power in other areas such as politics and business.

Further research should also be done on soft power to investigate how it has shaped society and how much edge it has given women over men.

References

Achebe, C. (1958). Things Fall Apart. Lagos: William Heinemann limited.

Bow, L. (2001). Betrayal and Other Acts of Subversion:. Retrieved February Monday, 27th, 2012, from Princeton University Press: http://press.princeton.edu/chapters/i7066.html

Bridging the Gap of Access to Justice for Women in Kenya. (2010). Gender Justice Policy Guide , Volume one, 64.

Callaghan, D. (1989). Women and Gender in Renaissance Tragedy: A Study of Lear, Othello, the Duchess of Malfi and the White Devil. Hertfordshire: Harvester Wheatsheaf.

Chapman, A. (2010). Gender Bias in Education. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from http://www.edchange.org

Chinweizu. (1990). Anatomy of Female Power. Lagos: Pero Press.

Chukwuma, H. (2004). Women Wrting: Feminism and National Development in Nigeria. Port Harcout: University of Port Harcourt Press.

Dijk, T. A. (2003). Critical Discourse Analysis. In D. Schiffrin, D. Tannen, & H. E. Hamilton, The Handbook of Discourse Analysis (p. 851). New York: Wiley Blackwell.

Freire, P. (1970). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Herder and Herder.

Goffman, E. (1977). The Arrangement Between the Sexes. In T. Parsons, & e. al, Theory and Society (pp. 301-333). New York: Free Press of Glencoe.

Goldberg, J. (1985). Shakespearean Inscriptions: the Voicing of Power. In P. Parker, & G. Hartman, Shakespeare and the Question of Theory (pp. 116-137). New York : Methuen.

Gullestad, M. (1993). The Art of Social Relations: Essays on Culture, Social Action and Everyday Life in Modern Norway. Oslo: Scandinavian University Press.

Hamel, J., Dufour, S., & Fortin, D. (1993). Case Study Methods. Beverly Hills: Sage Publications.

Hooks, B. (2000). Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black. In H. Nikki, Women Writers in Francophone Africa. Oxford: Berg Publishers.

Hymowitz, C., & schellhardt, T. (1984). Impact of the Glass Ceiling Effect on the American Workforce . The Wall Street Journal , 88 pages.

Jamah, A. (2012, February Monday, 27th). The Forgotten Gender. The Standard , p. 60.

Kabaji, E. (2008). Masculinity and Ritual Violence: A Study of Bullfighting among the Luhyia of Western Kenya. (E. Uchendu, Ed.) Masculinities in Contemporary Africa , 7, 288.

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Kamene, O. (1976). The Dual Sex Political System in Operation: Igbo Women and Community Politics in Midwestern Nigeria. (N. J. Hafkin, & E. G. Bay, Eds.) Stanford: Stanford University Press.

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Lorber, J. (1994). "Night to his Day": The Social Construction of Gender. In J. Lorber, Paradoxes of Gender. New Haven: Yale University Press.

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Miller, K. I. (2005). Communication Theories: Perspectives, processes and Contexts (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.

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Shirley, A. (1975). Perceiving Women. London: Halsted Press.

Simala, I. K. (2004). Sexist Overtones in Kiswahili Female Metaphors. Gender Issues Research Report Series , Volume 7, 64 Pages.

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APPENDICES

APPENDIX 1

OBSERVATION SCHEDULE

The researcher observed women from the sampled population to observe the following:

• The relationship with the man involved, i.e. is the woman a wife, a fiancée, a mistress or a girlfriend

• The manner in which she communicates with the man and the subversive acts she engages in.

• To observe the outcome of the subversive communication, that is, to establish whether the woman gets what she wants from the man.

APPENDIX 2

FGD SCHEDULE

Focus group discussions consisted of 10 women from each of the sub-subgroups identified i.e. girlfriends, wives and fiancées and mistresses. They consisted of closed ended questions and open ended questions that did not take any format. They were generated by the women themselves and were changing as the discussion developed.

The close ended questions were:

• What is your age?

• What is your level of education?

• How long has the relationship with your partner lasted?

• What strategies do you use to get everything you want from him?

• Do the subversive strategies work?

• Do you think that your man has power over you? And why?

APPENDIX 3

“I AM A WOMAN” LYRICS

I worked late but you don 't wait up. My bones ache and I’m cleaning the place up. Sometimes I wonder if know I’m there.
I sit down take off my make-up. I lay down but you don 't wake up. Sometimes I wonder if you even care.
I can 't remember the last time you told me I’m beautiful, and I can 't remember last time you said anything at all
I 'm a woman a woman with a heart and I deserve your all I 'm not some girl who don 't know what she wants. I 'm a woman and I need to be touched and I need to be loved 'cause being just your woman is not enough.
Now I hope that you don 't wake up when it 's too late to make up. You 'll be the one that 's alone and that 's so sad.
In time you 'll find somebody, the truth is she 'll never be me and that 's when you 're going to miss what we had.
When all I really needed to hear was "you 're beautiful". All I really needed to hear was anything at all.
I 'm a woman a woman with a heart and I deserve your all I 'm not some girl who don 't know what she wants. I 'm a woman and I need to be touched and I need to be loved 'cause being just your woman is not enough
I 'm not your friend who only needs you sometimes. And if I’m your lady you got to treat me like.
I 'm a woman, a woman with a heart and I deserve your all.

APPENDIX 4

“YOUR LOVE IS A LIE” LYRICS
I fall asleep by the telephone It 's 2 o 'clock and I 'm waiting up alone Tell me, where have you been?
I found a note with another name You blow a kiss but it just don 't feel the same 'Cause I can feel that you 're gone
I can 't bite my tongue forever While you try to play it cool You can hide behind your stories But don 't take me for a fool
You can tell me that there 's nobody else (But I feel it) You can tell me that you 're home by yourself (But I see it) You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want But I know, I know your love is just a lie It 's nothing but a lie
And you look so innocent But the guilt in your voice gives you away Yeah, you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss When you know that I trust you? And do you think about me when he fucks you? Could you be more obscene?
So don 't try to say you 're sorry Or try to make it right And don 't waste you 're breath Because it 's too late, it 's too late
You can tell me that there 's nobody else (But I feel it) You can tell me that you 're home by yourself (But I see it) You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want But I know, your love is just a lie, lie It 's nothing but a lie, lie, you 're nothing but a lie

References: Achebe, C. (1958). Things Fall Apart. Lagos: William Heinemann limited. Bow, L. (2001). Betrayal and Other Acts of Subversion:. Retrieved February Monday, 27th, 2012, from Princeton University Press: http://press.princeton.edu/chapters/i7066.html Bridging the Gap of Access to Justice for Women in Kenya Callaghan, D. (1989). Women and Gender in Renaissance Tragedy: A Study of Lear, Othello, the Duchess of Malfi and the White Devil. Hertfordshire: Harvester Wheatsheaf. Chapman, A. (2010). Gender Bias in Education. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from http://www.edchange.org Chinweizu Chukwuma, H. (2004). Women Wrting: Feminism and National Development in Nigeria. Port Harcout: University of Port Harcourt Press. Dijk, T. A. (2003). Critical Discourse Analysis. In D. Schiffrin, D. Tannen, & H. E. Hamilton, The Handbook of Discourse Analysis (p. 851). New York: Wiley Blackwell. Freire, P. (1970). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Herder and Herder. Goffman, E. (1977). The Arrangement Between the Sexes. In T. Parsons, & e. al, Theory and Society (pp. 301-333). New York: Free Press of Glencoe. Goldberg, J. (1985). Shakespearean Inscriptions: the Voicing of Power. In P. Parker, & G. Hartman, Shakespeare and the Question of Theory (pp. 116-137). New York : Methuen. Gullestad, M. (1993). The Art of Social Relations: Essays on Culture, Social Action and Everyday Life in Modern Norway. Oslo: Scandinavian University Press. Hamel, J., Dufour, S., & Fortin, D. (1993). Case Study Methods. Beverly Hills: Sage Publications. Hooks, B. (2000). Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black. In H. Nikki, Women Writers in Francophone Africa. Oxford: Berg Publishers. Hymowitz, C., & schellhardt, T. (1984). Impact of the Glass Ceiling Effect on the American Workforce . The Wall Street Journal , 88 pages. Jamah, A. (2012, February Monday, 27th). The Forgotten Gender. The Standard , p. 60. Kabaji, E. (2008). Masculinity and Ritual Violence: A Study of Bullfighting among the Luhyia of Western Kenya. (E. Uchendu, Ed.) Masculinities in Contemporary Africa , 7, 288. Kabaji, E. (2005, November). The Construction of Gender Through the Narrative Process: A Case Study of the Maragoli Folktale. Kamene, O. (1976). The Dual Sex Political System in Operation: Igbo Women and Community Politics in Midwestern Nigeria. (N. J. Hafkin, & E. G. Bay, Eds.) Stanford: Stanford University Press. Kothari, C. R. (2004). Research Methodology (2nd ed.). New Delhi: New Age International Publishers. Lorber, J. (1994). "Night to his Day": The Social Construction of Gender. In J. Lorber, Paradoxes of Gender. New Haven: Yale University Press. Maclean, I. (1980). The Renaissance Notion of Woman: A Study in the Fortunes of Scholasticism and Medical Science in European Intellectual Life. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Miller, K. I. (2005). Communication Theories: Perspectives, processes and Contexts (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw Hill. Mwangi, E. (2004). Masculinity and Nationalism in East African Hip Hop Music. Nye, J. S. (2005). Soft Power: The Means to Success in World Politics. New York: PublicAffairs Books. Odhiambo, R. A., & Oduor, M. (2010). the constitution of kenya: New Impetus for Growth for women. Eldoret: Moi University Press. Roux, E. L. (2005). Imaginary Evidence: Finding the Non-Dit in Fiction. Council for the Development of SociGender, Literature and Religion in Africa. CODESRIA Gender Series , Volume 4, 108 pages. Sadera, D. (2007, July Monday). Maendeleo ya Wanaume is a Greedy Hate Group. Retrieved January 23, 2012, from Kenya Imagine: http://www.kenyaimagine.blogspot.com/2007_07_30 Shamoo, A Shepherd, G. (1993). Rank, Gender and Homosexuality: Mombasa as a Key to Understanding Sexual Options in the Cultural Construction of Sexuality. In M. A. Henry Abelove, & P. Caplan (Ed.), The Lesbian and Gay Studies Reader (p. 666). London: Routledge. Shirley, A. (1975). Perceiving Women. London: Halsted Press. Simala, I. K. (2004). Sexist Overtones in Kiswahili Female Metaphors. Gender Issues Research Report Series , Volume 7, 64 Pages. Sommers, C. H. (2001). The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism is Harming our Young Men. New York: Simon and Schuster. United Nations. (1995, September). Action for Equality Development and Peace. Journal of the Fourth World Conference on Women , 68 Pages. Wikipedia. (n.d.). Soft Power. Retrieved January 15, 2012, from Wikipedia: http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/soft_power Wikipedia