To be perfect is everyones dream

To be perfect is everyone’s dream. However through my own eyes I can only see my every imperfection. I have never been the academic, the sports star or the beauty queen. It’s now year twelve and it seems everything matters, every essay, every test and every exam. I wish sometimes that I could run away; forever, never turn back and live a life free of stress, fighting and disappointments. It is then I awake from the dream and hear the deafening sound of the bell. Every day is the same. I sit in class all by myself, eat my lunch by the same tree and travel home alone on the bus. No one talks to me; I feel sometimes I never exist, a shadow in the background without a voice. It is so hard to fit in when people won’t even let you try. To be excluded everyday of the week, to have to sit at the front of the class, to be called names, it is so hard. So hard I sometimes even wish I did not have to deal with the emotional pain any longer. As the teacher begins to talk and the chatter between girls begins to sound, I sit alone with tears falling from my cheek. I watch the clock, every minute seems so painful, every whisper so hurtful. It was suggested to me that I see the school counselor and speak to her about my problems, which actually would mean admitting there is a problem.

As I sat in the room, it was comfortable. There was a fire place to my left, a huge glass window behind me, pictures on the wall of rainforests and baby animals and two very comfortable sofa seats. There was a slight smell, an aroma of lavender, a candle burning in the corner and the perfect sound of silence. As I waited in the counselor’s room, my heart began to race, my palms became sweaty and I could feel the anxiety. The door swung open, the sight of a large shadow became obvious and the sound of her voice was clear. “Good morning Alison” she said “My name is Julie and today I don’t want you to worry about anything that is said in this room, everything is totally confidential” I sat back in