Ugly Black Girl Analysis
In the dictionary, the word “ugly” is defined as someone or something that is unpleasant and repulsive. For a black girl, the connotation of the word transforms from unpleasant to unworthy; repulsive thus becomes invisible. “Ugly” was initially written as a way for me to be in conversation with the Webster Dictionary word. However, over some months the piece began to be a conversation I was having with myself, other poets, and black girls in general. After ten months of working on this collection, I found myself in deeper thought with the tradition of being a black female writer speaking through another black female character. “Ugly” is a vocal manuscript that praises, scolds, and condemns the black girl and her peers in the outside world.
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In 2016, Beyonce released her visual album Lemonade with poems written by Somali poet Warsan Shire. The album consisted of stunning visual concepts of the black female anatomy, the sexualization and destabilization of black women, and the hurdles we as a minority have faced. Before then, my poetry focused on critiquing systems of authority, rather that be fighting the patriarchy, the government, or the justice system. For my senior project, I was going to write a series of persona poems about male Hip-Hop and Rap artists that have had run-ins with authority. After reading more of Shire’s work, I noticed that I was so pro womanism, even though all the poets and topics I wrote about centered around men. Thus the idea of starting a conversation with black girl identity came to play. The only thing missing from this project was a name. While at Kenyon College, Sam Simpson performed a piece by Warsan Shire entitled “Ugly.” The poem described Shire’s relationship to her grandmother and her grandfather. After about ten minutes of resting on that title, my senior project came to light. My proposal included the following: to write a series of narrative poems following the life of a black girl named Ugly. In the beginning, the story was going to be told through multiple voices. For the first half of the collection, the poems were going to be written in the second person while the rest of the book would be written in first person from Ugly’s perspective. Though in my head, this idea sounded fantastic but, the notion that I was going for was not transferred into the poems. After conferencing with Mr.Richard, I decided to keep the whole piece in third person. Ugly couldn’t be the only character in the collection that represented a bigger picture. Eventually, I came up with five characters.
Ugly- the main character of the collection; she lives with her grandmother and her lover
Lilac- Ugly’s mother and soon to be mistress of her mother’s lover
Madea- the matriarch of the family; she serves as Ugly’s mother figure once Lilac dies after child birth
Thirsty- the lover of Madea and Lilac; the father of Ugly
Temple- Ugly’s soon to be lover and baby daddy
In my head, this story was going to involve a man who rapes the daughter of his lover and then years later rapes his daughter. At the time, this idea was the bulk of my senior project. Until, I realized that I was putting too many of the puzzle pieces in the hands of [Thirsty] the man. Another issue with this concept, was how thick the character relationships were. In order to not make my collection seem like a Tyler Perry Madea Special, I decided to rework the character relationships.
Ugly- the daughter of Lilac and Thirsty
Lilac- the daughter of Madea and the lover of Thirsty
Madea- the matriarch of the family
Thirsty- Ugly’s father and Lilac’s lover
Temple- Ugly’s lover and baby daddy
Girl- the unnamed daughter of Ugly Once the basic foundation was put into place, I did deeper character analysis into each of the characters. I chose Lilac as a name for the mother because the lilac flower represents love and youthful innocence; two emotions I wanted her mother to embody.
Lilac represents the black woman that chooses to follow the guidelines of the patriarchy traditionally seen in the Black community. I payed extra attention to capture moments in which Lilac was voiceless, literally and figuratively. This can be seen in “Thirsty Uproots A Lilac” and “Healing God’s Bruises.” Madea was written after an archetype I noticed in the written Black tradition which is the old magical negro. African-American grandparents are often depicted as having ethereal powers attached to them; many related to blessings, protection, and wisdom. Although Madea was the matriarch of the family, much like her daughter, she is voiceless against men[Thirsty]. The only times Madea actually speaks up is through violence towards her granddaughter, as seen in “Madea During the Rapture.” Madea is a character with an internal conflict against herself and her family. What I really wanted to grasp in this character was the need to feel validated. This is kind of hinted at in “Madea During the Rapture” with the line: “standing on the corner/black van after black van/black man after black man”
One thing I wish I could have done with this collection is dedicate more poems to Madea’s life leading up to the current
narrative. When writing Thirsty and Temple, I wanted them to work as opposites with some similar psychological mindset. Never in my life did I think I was going to be afraid of one of my characters. Thirsty is this “macho-man” figure with problems related to his own security in his race and his gender. I wink at this conflict in “Healing God’s Bruises.” One of the hardest poems for me to write was “Thirsty’s Hands.” This poem captured the rape of Ugly by her father; for me. This poem highlighted how evil Thirsty is as a character. Even now writing this paper, it’s hard for me to talk about him; I like to believe that when Thirsty died, the patriarchy died along with him. Temple, however, is the last remaining male in the collection. Unlike Thirsty, Temple doesn’t take out his insecurities in a forceful way but he does latch onto Ugly for validation. These characters were fun to work being that they brought me back to my prose roots.
In 2017, a tornadoe drove through New Orleans East destroying many of the homes, churches, and schools. I never thought my home would be counted in the damage. Previously, my senior project was supposed to encompass photographs that captured emotions of the characters in the text.
In the above picture, I used my brother to capture the innocence, anger, and love of the characters. He ran free through City Park for about an hour and I shot him in motion. However once the tornado came, many of my pictures began to get darker and show less movement.
With these photographs, I noticed that the focus had gone away from my characters and on to me. Through both the collection and my photography, at the end, I found myself in conversation with my inner monologue. I am a black girl that has lived through two hurricanes, a tornado, three deaths, and years of insecurity. In my surprise, I wrote about a black girl that has lived through three deaths, pregnancy, insecurity, and not literal but figurative floods. What I appreciated after my project was complete, was the fact that this book wasn't just for other people, but it was for me. From actually, creating my book out of a thrift store encyclopedia, tea bags, my grandmother’s “good” magazines, and a pack of copy paper I felt a spiritual healing through my senior project. Even though at times I thought this piece wasn’t going to make it, I’m proud that in the end I got a manuscript that I wish to someday publish.
In 2016, Beyonce released her visual album Lemonade with poems written by Somali poet Warsan Shire. The album consisted of stunning visual concepts of the black female anatomy, the sexualization and destabilization of black women, and the hurdles we as a minority have faced. Before then, my poetry focused on critiquing systems of authority, rather that be fighting the patriarchy, the government, or the justice system. For my senior project, I was going to write a series of persona poems about male Hip-Hop and Rap artists that have had run-ins with authority. After reading more of Shire’s work, I noticed that I was so pro womanism, even though all the poets and topics I wrote about centered around men. Thus the idea of starting a conversation with black girl identity came to play. The only thing missing from this project was a name. While at Kenyon College, Sam Simpson performed a piece by Warsan Shire entitled “Ugly.” The poem described Shire’s relationship to her grandmother and her grandfather. After about ten minutes of resting on that title, my senior project came to light. My proposal included the following: to write a series of narrative poems following the life of a black girl named Ugly. In the beginning, the story was going to be told through multiple voices. For the first half of the collection, the poems were going to be written in the second person while the rest of the book would be written in first person from Ugly’s perspective. Though in my head, this idea sounded fantastic but, the notion that I was going for was not transferred into the poems. After conferencing with Mr.Richard, I decided to keep the whole piece in third person. Ugly couldn’t be the only character in the collection that represented a bigger picture. Eventually, I came up with five characters.
Ugly- the main character of the collection; she lives with her grandmother and her lover
Lilac- Ugly’s mother and soon to be mistress of her mother’s lover
Madea- the matriarch of the family; she serves as Ugly’s mother figure once Lilac dies after child birth
Thirsty- the lover of Madea and Lilac; the father of Ugly
Temple- Ugly’s soon to be lover and baby daddy
In my head, this story was going to involve a man who rapes the daughter of his lover and then years later rapes his daughter. At the time, this idea was the bulk of my senior project. Until, I realized that I was putting too many of the puzzle pieces in the hands of [Thirsty] the man. Another issue with this concept, was how thick the character relationships were. In order to not make my collection seem like a Tyler Perry Madea Special, I decided to rework the character relationships.
Ugly- the daughter of Lilac and Thirsty
Lilac- the daughter of Madea and the lover of Thirsty
Madea- the matriarch of the family
Thirsty- Ugly’s father and Lilac’s lover
Temple- Ugly’s lover and baby daddy
Girl- the unnamed daughter of Ugly Once the basic foundation was put into place, I did deeper character analysis into each of the characters. I chose Lilac as a name for the mother because the lilac flower represents love and youthful innocence; two emotions I wanted her mother to embody.
Lilac represents the black woman that chooses to follow the guidelines of the patriarchy traditionally seen in the Black community. I payed extra attention to capture moments in which Lilac was voiceless, literally and figuratively. This can be seen in “Thirsty Uproots A Lilac” and “Healing God’s Bruises.” Madea was written after an archetype I noticed in the written Black tradition which is the old magical negro. African-American grandparents are often depicted as having ethereal powers attached to them; many related to blessings, protection, and wisdom. Although Madea was the matriarch of the family, much like her daughter, she is voiceless against men[Thirsty]. The only times Madea actually speaks up is through violence towards her granddaughter, as seen in “Madea During the Rapture.” Madea is a character with an internal conflict against herself and her family. What I really wanted to grasp in this character was the need to feel validated. This is kind of hinted at in “Madea During the Rapture” with the line: “standing on the corner/black van after black van/black man after black man”
One thing I wish I could have done with this collection is dedicate more poems to Madea’s life leading up to the current
narrative. When writing Thirsty and Temple, I wanted them to work as opposites with some similar psychological mindset. Never in my life did I think I was going to be afraid of one of my characters. Thirsty is this “macho-man” figure with problems related to his own security in his race and his gender. I wink at this conflict in “Healing God’s Bruises.” One of the hardest poems for me to write was “Thirsty’s Hands.” This poem captured the rape of Ugly by her father; for me. This poem highlighted how evil Thirsty is as a character. Even now writing this paper, it’s hard for me to talk about him; I like to believe that when Thirsty died, the patriarchy died along with him. Temple, however, is the last remaining male in the collection. Unlike Thirsty, Temple doesn’t take out his insecurities in a forceful way but he does latch onto Ugly for validation. These characters were fun to work being that they brought me back to my prose roots.
In 2017, a tornadoe drove through New Orleans East destroying many of the homes, churches, and schools. I never thought my home would be counted in the damage. Previously, my senior project was supposed to encompass photographs that captured emotions of the characters in the text.
In the above picture, I used my brother to capture the innocence, anger, and love of the characters. He ran free through City Park for about an hour and I shot him in motion. However once the tornado came, many of my pictures began to get darker and show less movement.
With these photographs, I noticed that the focus had gone away from my characters and on to me. Through both the collection and my photography, at the end, I found myself in conversation with my inner monologue. I am a black girl that has lived through two hurricanes, a tornado, three deaths, and years of insecurity. In my surprise, I wrote about a black girl that has lived through three deaths, pregnancy, insecurity, and not literal but figurative floods. What I appreciated after my project was complete, was the fact that this book wasn't just for other people, but it was for me. From actually, creating my book out of a thrift store encyclopedia, tea bags, my grandmother’s “good” magazines, and a pack of copy paper I felt a spiritual healing through my senior project. Even though at times I thought this piece wasn’t going to make it, I’m proud that in the end I got a manuscript that I wish to someday publish.