Wedding Business in Hotel Industry

An Explanation of The Increase of Divorce Rate in Recent Years

Đoàn Thị Hồng Nhung
Ho Chi Minh City of University of Foreign Language and Information Technology
KS0904

Lecturer: Vũ Thị Lan
November 2012

“Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses” says a well-known proverb. A married life provides emotional support and intimacy each other. You have someone to share life 's challenges, rewards and sorrows with, a person who actually knows what you are going through and feels the same way too. Marriage also helps you be disciplined in your finances and time and creates a warm and secure home for children. Those are some obvious advantages which a person going to get married usually imagines. It is because a typical marriage always starts on a happy note. Both couples are falling in love to each other and the early marriage life is really beautiful. They feel that they are really blessed because they have found a partner for life. This scenario happens repetitively, but unfortunately it also can potentially end in a disaster. Many couples experience negative changes in their marriages after several years. Their happy early marriage lives are replaced by many arguments and fights. Each couple cannot stand each other anymore and they cannot stay under the same roof with arguing to each other. In the end, they feel that the situation has become unbearable and they decide to go for a divorce which is one of the solutions to cope with problems between husband and wife.

The number of divorcing couples has been multiplying dramatically nowadays because of so many different reasons. It has changed not only the structure of the family but also the society and gives many impacts on these elements. That is the reason why I choose this topic to give some explanations about the increase of the divorce rates in recent years. It will help the young people have a realistic view of married life in order to be able to avoid some mistakes which might destroy their happy lives with their spouses in the future.

The goal of this study is to understand the causes and the effects of high divorce rates in order to maintain a happy married life.

The significance of this study explores three questions:

1. What are the differences in marriage between older generations and younger generations?

2. Why do married couples easily consider a divorce nowadays?

3. How does the increase of the divorce rates affect family life and society?

My study is a secondary research paper. After collecting information from many sources, the paper is divided into three sections. Firstly is the overview of marriage in older society and new society. The second part is to clarify the reasons why the divorce rates are so much higher in recent years. The final part is the main effects of the recent increase of the divorce rates on home life and society.

First of all, I want to discuss our older generations’ viewpoints of marriage. As what I read on the internet, today 's society is not the same as the older generations. For the past centuries people married because they could survive better economically. They shared their money and had children who looked after them when they got old. Men went to work while women cared for the children and did the cooking (“Is marriage becoming old-fashioned,” n.d.). Moreover, Heller (2009, para. 2) stated that our older generations can be considered more successful when it comes to a marriage. They married only once and they stayed together through good and bad times. Of course they also faced problems in their marriage life, but they worked hand in hand with their spouse to solve those problems. It is such an unfortunate that people have left this beautiful culture behind.

These days, people do not think highly of a marriage. They don 't care much about the vows that they have said in their wedding day. The old culture where husband and wife live together until death do they part does not mean much for them. No matter how much a married couple loved and understood each other before, if they feel their expectations are not met, they just want to end their marriage without putting efforts to fix it.

The graph below shows you the difference between the divorce rates in our grandparents’ generation and the last 30 years.

[pic]

Source: http://www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/vanneman/socy441/trends/divorce.html

The divorce rate began to climb at the turn of the century and peaked around 1980s. What has gone wrong with the new generations? Why do they easily consider a divorce? Why can 't they follow the footsteps of the grandparents? There are many reasons for this generally trend, some of which this study will explore.

The first significant cause of recent rise in the rates of divorce is the liberation of women. In the past, men have to earn whole money to afford the expense of family, whereas woman only do housework, hence women have no money leading to depend on husbands’ money. Because of these situations, it is too difficult for most women to separate from their husbands (“Cause and Effect Essay – The Causes of Divorce”, 2012, para. 2). However, James Walsh (2008, para. 3) believed that women today get equal opportunities as men in terms of education and employment. The equality between men and women in roles are very clear at the moment, thus women can work outside to earn money, while men share the household tasks such as cooking, cleaning, washing as well as caring for children. It can be clearly seen that women are independent from money as they can earn money themselves to support their living cost. Since they are empowered financially, they prefer breaking off a caustic marriage and live alone with their children or enter into a new relationship.

The second cause to confirm the recent increase in divorce rates is growth of modern life. Today’s working environment has changed drastically. The economy having opened up, most companies are facing intense competition and this leads to tremendous pressure on employees. Working late, 6 days a week, without holidays and with a boss who breathes down your throat can create a lot of frustration and tension (“Divorce Rates Increasing”, 2010). Work brings stress, and if both halves of a marriage are working then there may be more stress within the home. Furthermore, a busy working life also leads to the lack of communication of spouses. They have inadequate time to talk to the problems with their partners, which produces the likelihood of divorce. Some couples are often quiet when they have problems each other, as a consequence little problems can be expanded to probably become huge problems, resulting in divorce (“Cause and Effect Essay – The Causes of Divorce”, 2012, para. 4). Another thing which a modern society brings into family life is the high level of temptation (Heller, 2009, para. 6). As you can observe, porn is easily accessible nowadays. Moreover, clothing design has changed considerably from the past. Now people need to show more skin and curve in order to look beautiful and sexy. It is not surprising to find out that there are many people who are trapped by these temptations.

It not just the growth of economy and living standard make getting a divorce easier, it is a change in society’s attitude towards divorce also. According to James Walsh (2008, para. 5), for a long time, especially since the early 19th century to mid 20th century, social mores were rock-hard and inflexible. The individual was expected to fully confirm to those or face social penalty. But now, people are more open and understanding. They see divorce as a relationship problem and not because of personal flaws (Tan, 2012, p. 10). Having a divorce will no longer affect your career because the acceptance level of society has become very high and today, thumbing one’s nose at social norms has become fashionable. Besides, changes in family law have made it much simpler (Marshall, 2009, para. 2). The most significant change in the law is that a couple can now get divorced in a 'no fault divorce '. This means that neither party is said to be specifically to blame for the breakdown of the relationship. This means that there does not need to be a specific reason, such as unreasonable behavior by one person.

Among those reasons, perhaps the biggest reason of rising divorce rate is the process of divorce itself which has become much simpler these days. Walsh (2008, para. 4) told that for many centuries, marriage was considered a very powerful and sacred institution that was not be taken lightly or broken easily. The will of the society was represented in the divorce laws which were draconian and made it almost impossible for married partners to break off the relationship. The judges were hostile to divorce cases and considered marital separation an assault on social conscience. Over time, particularly since the 1970s, divorce laws have been relaxed in keeping with the increasing acceptance of marital separation by the society. Today, it is possible to get a divorce in as little as two months if both the partners are willing. In addition, Heller (2009, para. 7) believed that billboards and advertisements are everywhere showing lawyers who can help people get a divorce easier is also one of the cause for high divorce rates. In fact, some of those advertisements are encouraged people to get a divorce for a better life. The world has really changed for the worse. A marriage is considered as an outdated concept and a divorce is the new trend.

The final cause this study wants to mention is easy remarriage after getting divorced, which has tremendously reduced the impact of divorce on the personal and social life of people. As Theresa Tan (2012, p. 10) noted, with remarriage gaining acceptance, there is a sizeable number of divorced people in their 30s and 40s, young enough to give marriage another shot. On the other hand, it is said that in America, a country with the highest divorce rate (about 53%), if their expectations are not reached or they feel unsatisfied with their marriage, they are willing to end their relationships hoping that the next will be happier. The high risk of divorce does not seem to make Americans afraid to remarry (Tiersky, E & Tiersky, M, 2001, p. 17). Therefore, Walsh believed that because of all this, divorce does not have much effect on the capability of people to enter new relationships (2008, para. 8). There are many divorcees clubs where recently divorced couple can mill around and try to strike up new relationships. Easy remarriage after divorce makes married couple more confident in asking for marital separation.

Although, these five causes of the recent rise in divorce rates are expressed above, there are also two effects of the recent increase of divorce rates that this study will clarify: negative effects and positive effects.

Firstly, the effects of recent enlargement in divorce rates are negative effects. The most obvious effect is changing family structures complicate relationships. As Anderson noted, divorce and remarriage shuffle family members together in foreign and awkward ways. Clear lines of authority and communication get blurred and confused in these newly revised families (1997, para. 13). Accordingly, children are the ones who are suffered not only the emotional impact but also the educational impact after their parents’ divorce. Children living in single parent families are more probably to get pregnant as teenagers, abuse drugs and have aggressively emotional and behavioral problems, which lead to social problems (“Cause and Effect Essay – The Causes of Divorce”, 2012, para. 6) . In addition, children growing up in broken homes do not do as well in school as children from stable families. Some children even decide to go out of their home when their parents separate each other, and subsequently they become homeless children. They do not have good opportunities to find a job due to shortage of education. Consequently, crime may likely be the end result. These are significantly negative effects of recent expansion in divorce rates.

Secondly, on the other hand, other effects of rise in divorce rates are positive effects. People, who divorce by consent from their partners, want to have better quality of life, since they are unhappy with their spouses. Accordingly, they can work efficiently, which results from fine mental condition. They not only have more free time to do many things, but also free from their spouses’ murmurs. In addition, divorces also get rid of the violence of quarrel between husband and wife, hence everybody in family get better in physical and mental health, particularly for children (“Cause and Effect Essay – The Causes of Divorce”, 2012, para. 7) . These are the advantageous effects of increasing divorce rates.

In conclusion, a family is one of the important parts of society, thus many people had better aware of the significance of relationship in family. At the moment, divorce has become the substantial problem. That is the reason why this research’s aim is explain the increase of divorce rates in recent years. It found out some main reasons and the impacts of this trend. The study is divided into three parts clearly. The first part gave readers the overview of marriage in older society and new society so that they could understand the differences of divorce rates in the past and now. In the second part, I pointed out five causes for the increase of divorce rates nowadays including: liberation of woman, the growth of modern life, changes of society’s attitude, relaxation of divorce laws and easy remarriage. Nevertheless, the last part is two different ways in effects of the recent increase of the divorce rates on home life and society which are negative and positive effects. Some couples having children in their family should think deliberatively before they end their marriage in divorce; otherwise innocent children probably become victims for this situation. On the other hand, for those who have no children, divorce by consent, therefore divorce should be good solution for couples to deal with this problem. However, we know better than to follow this negative trend. We can choose and we will choose wisely. Stay committed to our marriage and remember the promises that we have said to our spouses at the wedding ceremony. Work together to solve marriage problems and keep maintaining the first love that we experienced when we just got married, instead of not doing anything but giving up on our marriage easily.

References
Is marriage becoming old-fashioned? (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.english-online.at/news-articles/living/is-marriage-becoming-old-fashioned.htm
Divorce rates increasing. (2010, April 19). Retrieved from http://www.standforyourmarriage.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=188:divorce-rates-increasing&catid=25:2010-04-18-17-39-34&Itemid=80
Cause and effect essay – the causes of divorce. (2012, October 08). Retrieved from http://www.123helpme.com/view.asp?id=11954
Anderson, K. (1997). Divorce. Retrieved from http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4219233/k.C0E8/Divorce.htm
Heller, C. (2009, March 05). Common causes that make divorce rates increase. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Common-Causes-That-Make-Divorce-Rates-Increase&id=2067174
Marshall, A. (2009, August 18). Reason for high divorce rates. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Reason-For-High-Divorce-Rates&id=2779467
Tan, T. (2012, September 30). Special report : Marriage in Singapore. The Sunday Times, pp. 10-11.
Tiersky, E., & Tiersky, M. (2001). The U.S.A Customs and Institutions. Longman.
Walsh, J. (2008, February 21). Reasons for the ever increasing divorce rate. Retrieved from http://www.articleclick.com/Article/Reasons-for-the-Ever-Increasing-Divorce-Rate/973617

References: Is marriage becoming old-fashioned? (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.english-online.at/news-articles/living/is-marriage-becoming-old-fashioned.htm Divorce rates increasing. (2010, April 19). Retrieved from http://www.standforyourmarriage.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=188:divorce-rates-increasing&catid=25:2010-04-18-17-39-34&Itemid=80 Cause and effect essay – the causes of divorce. (2012, October 08). Retrieved from http://www.123helpme.com/view.asp?id=11954 Anderson, K. (1997). Divorce. Retrieved from http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4219233/k.C0E8/Divorce.htm Heller, C. (2009, March 05). Common causes that make divorce rates increase. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Common-Causes-That-Make-Divorce-Rates-Increase&id=2067174 Marshall, A. (2009, August 18). Reason for high divorce rates. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Reason-For-High-Divorce-Rates&id=2779467 Tan, T. (2012, September 30). Special report : Marriage in Singapore. The Sunday Times, pp. 10-11. Tiersky, E., & Tiersky, M. (2001). The U.S.A Customs and Institutions. Longman. Walsh, J. (2008, February 21). Reasons for the ever increasing divorce rate. Retrieved from http://www.articleclick.com/Article/Reasons-for-the-Ever-Increasing-Divorce-Rate/973617