Where Are You Going Everything Analysis

The Effects of Not Having a Stable Father-Figure

The lack of having an actual father figure caused Connie to grow up too fast. Connie’s father did not acknowledge her, nor did he care about her what she did. Eventually leading her to unknowingly soon then become rebellious and act older than her actual age. Being raised with no man to be or act as a father to her, and any young girl’s life in general, allows a much higher chance of being at risk for an attraction towards older men, premarital sexual acts, and
Disobedience.

“Women who grow up without fathers often struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and unworthiness.” (OWN) In this instance though it was a young lady who had been affected in the short-story, “Where Are You Going,
Where Have You Been” by Joyce Carol Oates and her name was Connie. At the age of fifteen Connie had insecurities just like any other girl her age would have. However the problem was “she (Connie) knew she was pretty and that was everything.” (Joyce Carol Oates) Connie used her physical appearance to the utmost advantage, to attract boys around her age group and men much older than her.
For example one night out with her friends she ended up tagging along with a boy whose name is Eddie, as they both walked towards his car a grown man spotted her, and that was the beginning of which led to her death. If only Connie’s father took the time to initiate a conversation with his daughters, the
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one-second “intimate” interaction with that man “in a convertible jalopy painted gold” (Oates) could've been prevented. With that being said it is crucial to know that “the role of (a) father is to teach his daughter how to be in a nonsexual, intimate relationship(s) with a man.” (OWN) To be taught and told by not just your parents, but from your father to avoid being involved with intimate relationships at an early age, then Connie’s fifteen year old insecurities would of been stable and she would've known her worth.

To be a lady and having a constant urge to attract any male (and or if you’re a man craving a lady’s attention; this does apply to both genders) near at a mile-radius during just your childhood years, not only displays a flaw in one’s self esteem and emotional security, but
also reflects how their sexual lifestyle will end-up. “Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children including the development of a positive self esteem.” (The Father Code)
Individuals and especially women who do not have self-respect, will have little to no shame in what they decide to do in their personal lives. In the novel that Joyce Carol Oates wrote, Connie had two different public appearances. Stating that, “everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and another way for when she was away from home.” (Oates) Connie had been self-absorbed, vain, and concentrated on attracting guys from the sunrise to sunset. Moments before her death, before she realised who the man in the car was, before she knew that would be the end of her life her heart was pacing nervously. To be and look appealing to whomever the stranger was “she sat up at once, startled - wondering how bad she looked.” (Oates) Whether she was at home, school or any public setting the law of attraction was working for her. Of course majority who gazed at her was either, admiring her beauty or fantasizing to engage in sexual acts with her. It is unfortunate that Connie and other “children who feel unloved tend to become anxious and insecure, and this can make them needy” (The Father Code); and Connie was one of many… developing an attitude that brought an environment into her life that she did not need and was not prepared for. Enjoying eyes of many men stare her down, meeting and spending time with numerous boys, and taking part in sexual acts was regrettably what brought
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With Connie’s constant negative behavioral patterns, displayed an obvious problematic stressor. Studies show that “teens growing up without a father are more susceptible to emotional distress.” (HubPages) Why? It all is due to the lack of having a father-figure in one’s life growing up. Father-figure meaning a man who actually takes hours out of his day or week to spend quality time with his children, and take part in their personal lives to provide advice or guidance. Her “father was away at work most the time and when he came home he wanted supper and he read the newspaper at supper and after supper he went to bed. He did bother much talking to” (Oates) either Connie or her sister June. There was never a genuine relationship that had been built from her father, and she scouted boys and older men to fill that empty space.
Without (her) a dad being supportive or father-figure in general for all kids, children tend to create an “intimidating persona in an attempt to disguise their underlying fears, resentments, anxieties and unhappiness.” (Psychology Today) Now when a child carries and holds such negative feelings and thoughts, they become selfish and will do what they choose to - the
result of that, disobeying their parents. Just like Connie, telling her family that her friends and her were just going to “walk through the stores (of the shopping plaza) or go to a movie” (Oates), but in reality we all know they explored and hunted to meet potential suitors. If only she was directed to what was acceptable or not, these habits would’ve never developed, and the acts of disobedience could’ve been non-existent.

It is important to point-out that not having a strong relationship with your dad, and or a father-figure in a young girl’s (any child's) life can impact their development in becoming an adult. Similar to the true-story and occurrence of Connie’s death, which represents a significant meaning in today’s life for all new-born children. Men must understand that the world can be slightly a better place for their daughters if they knew just playing their role was done.
Attraction to older men, premarital sexual act, and disobedience can be prevented if a child just had their father apart of their lives.