Why I Want To Become A Serial Killer

What instigates the actions of murderers has always intrigued me, particularly with children who kill and serial killers, this has inevitably led me to want to pursue a career that involves Psychology.
Learning about the inner-workings of the mind has always enthralled me, especially when regarding violence and aggression. I discovered this when I was roughly around the age of 11, I had been surfing YouTube and had stumbled across a video about young children who had committed murder. As a young child I mainly watched these videos for the frightening aspect of it but as I became older I began to investigate the reasons behind the murder. I binge watched short videos and documentaries and every time after I had finished, I would reflect upon the fact, which endlessly disturbed me, that there were children, around the same age
as I, who would commit heinous acts of violence. The sheer extent to which these children would take their ire, some demonstrating a lack of remorse, slightly frightened me, but more than anything, it ignited a desire to discover the reason why.
My absorption with the lives of serial killers began shortly after my interest in the reasons behind murder, but it burgeoned at the start of high school.
I would race to finish my classwork so then I could peacefully read FBI reports on prolific serial killers. I became aware of the environments they grew up in and how many of them were treated, this new discovery prompted me to investigate the effect their conditions had on them. I learned that many of them had Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and/or various combinations of other behavioral abnormalities. Not fully understanding these disorders, I felt compelled to take upon myself to try to comprehend their behaviors in an academic setting. As a result, I purchased books on criminal psychology that went in-depth to explain their behavior and I took a Psychology course over the summer hoping to learn about the complexities of the mind and what may be the cause of the behaviors of some of the most remorseless beings, however, being that it was an introductory course I was left unsatiated with countless unanswered
questions.
So, I turned to my friend Diana, who is majoring in Forensic Psychology at Cal State LA. Whenever I have a question that I can’t find the answer to in one of my books or the internet I am always able to rely on her. She answers many of my questions and often shares with me what she’s learning in class.
Regardless of the fact that that I, to some extent, have an idea as to why murder takes place, I am still left perpetually perplexed. I may not major in Criminology or Psychology, but I definitely plan on expanding my knowledge in the matter. I want to finally be able to confidently answer the questions I had as a child and pursue even more complex inquiries as an adult. If available, I would like to get involved in clubs/organizations that involve my interest and if there isn’t any, once I believe myself to be competent enough, I would like to start one with like-minded individuals who are intrigued by what often repulses others. Further exploring this deeply rooted interest of mine doesn’t have to be systematic, I will learn what I can on this topic wherever it is possible.