Why Is Okonkwo An Unsuccessful Father

Parenting children as a father is not always easy. As a father, one must put forth effort in order to his express affection towards and support for his children. In order to maintain a healthy father and son/daughter relationship, the father needs to both express affection towards his children, while also supporting his kids. However, expressing emotion is not the easiest thing for a man to do. Men have a habit of concealing their emotions in order to maintain masculinity and power in their household. Like many other fathers, Okonkwo lacks the ability to express his affection towards his children. He a tendency to push the vulnerable part of himself away because of his fear that people will perceive him as weak. Therefore, Okonkwo conceals
Okonkwo’s fear of being thought of as emotionally weak acts as a motivation to hide his affection towards his children, which ultimately makes Okonkwo less successful as a father.
Okonkwo’s fear of being perceived as emotionally vulnerable causes him to hide his relationship with Ikemefuna, resulting in Okonkwo being portrayed as an unsuccessful father. Throughout the novel Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo reveals his love for and special connection with Ikemefuna. In order to hide his affection, Okonkwo kills Ikemefuna when Ezeudu tells him that he needs to be killed. As Okonkwo draws his machete, Ikemefuna addresses Okonkwo as “father.” Okonkwo then kills his son because he was afraid of being thought of as weak” (61). Okonkwo thought he needed to conceal his relationship with his son because Ikemefuna calls him “father.” In Okonkwo’s eyes, the word “father” displays love and care which he thinks makes him weak and emotionally
Throughout the novel, Okonkwo displays very little affection towards Ezinma. He discovers Ezinma’s sickness and immediately follows the medicine man and Okagbue all the way to Ezinma’s rock that would heal her. Okonkwo then makes Ekwefi create the medicine that would cure Ezinma (Achebe 82). Instead of being upfront, Okonkwo hides his concerns for Ezinma by forcing Ekwefi to take care of her. Okonkwo is extremely invested in Ezinma’s health and decides to follow the medicine man in order to make sure that his daughter gets the right treatment. However, Okonkwo did not want people to know that he cares for Ezinma, and therefore makes Ekwefi cure her even though Okonkwo could have done it himself. As Andrew Reiner continues to discuss the idea of men holding back from expressing their emotions, he claims that a man actually needs what he fears the most (Reiner). Okonkwo is afraid of being perceived as emotionally vulnerable. However, emotion is exactly what he needs in order to be successful. Because of his fear, Okonkwo makes it look like Ekwefi is the one who is affectionate towards Ezinma. By taking himself out of the picture, Okonkwo actually harms his relationship with Ezinma because he holds back from taking care of her while she was sick, along with expressing his affection towards his daughter. Additionally, Ezinma only sees