Women In London During The 1960's

London during the 1960’s had conservative social ideals, especially of gender roles. Post
World War II, women were expected to leave the jobs they were allowed to have during the war and resume their place in the home (“The Woman Question” 1607). The children of these women had hopes that they could aspire to have dreams that went beyond motherhood (Ireland
3). Guidelines for the female’s place in society and in the home were prominent even throughout the 1960’s. In To Room Nineteen, Lessing challenges the conservative social ideals of the
1960’s by telling Susan’s story of lost identity. Susan has everything she should to want according to societal ideals. She has a husband who has a good job, a house in the suburbs of
London, and
four children. Her youngest children go to school, she finds out about her husband’s affair, and it seems like everyone has an “escape” (CITE) except her. Her illusion of satisfaction shatters. She begins to look inward at what remains without any extrinsic identity. Susan realizes that without her relational identities, she has nothing but emptiness.
The expectations of society are laid out in the beginning of the story. Speaking about the impressions of the Rawlings’ friends sets the foundation of the story because ultimately, they set the foundation for their marriage. The second paragraph states that most of their group of friends are already married. Their friends’ approval and reliance on Susan and Matthew as a couple
(CITE) is described in the beginning and end of the third paragraph. The first sentence states:
“their friends’ delight was an additional proof of their happiness” (CITE). Their happiness as a couple is “proven” by their friends first. A couple paragraphs later, the narrative describes the beginning of the Rawlings’ relationship. The text says: “They moved into a new flat in South
Kensington on the clear understanding that when their marriage had settled down (a process they knew would not take long, and was in fact more a humorous concession to popular wis- dom than what was due to themselves) they would buy a house and start a family” (CITE). These descriptions as an introduction, while telling of the Rawlings’ couple, is even more telling of society. On page ___, the narrative states that “both knew of the hidden resentments and deprivations of the woman who has lived her own life-and above all, has earned her own living-and is now dependent on a husband for outside interests and money.” Susan and Matthew both were aware that Susan, like many women, would become resentful of her husband for having his own identity.
To answer the question of whether she was forced to fit a role in society, one may consider what caused the rigid expectations for women. Ireland states in her article
“Reconceiving Women” that dating back to mythology of many cultures, there is a pattern of qualities that make women intimidating and feared, and many were uncertain of the impact someone who is feminine but powerful, self-serving, unmarried, or childless could have on the community (Ireland 7). There is an obvious negative connotation that these women are rejecting the role society demands they fill, and this kind of “othering” makes it so unnatural for a woman to not identify as part of her husband, home, or children.
After hearing about Matthew’s affair, Susan begins to stop identifying with her children.
On page ___, she claims that she feels life is a “desert” (CITE) and her life and children are “not her own” (CITE). This is a dissociation between her and the people she dedicates every day of her life to. The text refers to the time before the twins went to school as “years when her
soul was not her own, as she said, but her children's” (CITE). After her children go to school and her husband goes to work, she asks herself what the “essential” Susan is (CITE).
Susan’s relational identities are listed in two different ways. The first time they are listed is on page ___. It is presented as a “to do” list within Susan’s stream of consciousness, rambling off when she needs to pick up the twins or what she needs to do for Mrs. Parkes. In line ____,
Susan’s relational identities are more directly listed.
She describes herself as the mother of four, wife of Matthew, employer of Mrs. Parkes and Sophie, as well as having relationships with friends, teachers, and trademen, and even describes her as a mistress to her house, garden, and activities (CITE). The syntax of these relations is important; it uses a descriptive noun, “mother,” followed by the word “of” and then some other noun. This syntax indicates that Susan belongs to these people and things, and not the other way around. This is important because without the realization that these relational identities are her only identities, she would not feel the emptiness that she feels at the end of the passage.
The story of Matthew and Susan Rawlings’ failed marriage is clear. However, losing her husband’s commitment became a catalyst to the realization that he can escape to work and affairs, the children have school, and she has nothing. Through the story of Susan Rawlings,
Lessing calls attention to misplaced identity which stems from external pressures. Their story begins describing social expectations and ends with the physical death of Susan, whom fell victim to the overwhelming sense that she does not know who she
is.