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Block 23 King Street
#08-489
Singapore 480023

25 August 2013

Mdm Heng Seng Mee
Principal
Broadrick Secondary School
61 Dakota Crescent
Singapore 399935

Dear Mdm Heng,

Best use of the money donated for the school and the community.

I am Casper Lee from Class 5A1. Our school has recently obtained a sum of money from an organization to sponsor the school in its newest initiative. The aim of the initiative is to promote cohesion and school spirit among the students as well as elevate the image of the school in the community. The teachers have suggested initiatives such as a gala anniversary concert at the Esplanade, a school carnival that will be open to the public or adoption of the local children’s home. After much deliberation, I have concluded that the adoption of the local children’s home would be the ideal initiative that would help us achieve our goals.

The adoption of the local children’s home will would help us give us back to the community and elevate the image of the school in the community. We can could also have more Community Involvement Programmes (CIP) for all the students of Broadrick. Additionally, by using the student body, we can could reach out to the community to by actively participate participating in fundraising events and social services. This would mean that not only do we make benefit the childrens in the home benefit from through the adoption, but we also garner more attention so that members of the public could contribute significantly to the home. Together with that, it would help promote our school as it would evidently show that we are a school that nurtures the students to be less self-centered and teaches us on basic moral values that would make us better adults. The social services that Broadrick makes the students engage in would definitely appeal to parents who wish to bring up their child in the right environment. Perhaps, we could expect more students enrolling into our school as our school which would most likely stand out among all the schools.

The money sponsored should mainly be used in renovating as the children’s home which has not been renovated for almost two decades and we should officially adopt the children’s home. We should have an event where we announce to the members of public that we are adopting the home. We could also include in that event how we would like to improve the home such as the renovation and services as a part of CIP from the students. Every class would be rotated to perform volunteer service at the home. This could inspire other schools and make them go under which may be motivated to follow our footsteps. Moreover, businessmen could donate if we seem promising and convincing enough. This would significantly increase the sum of money we have to invest on in making the home a much more better place for the children.

On the other hand, the reason I did not choose a gala anniversary concert or have a school carnival as is because it would not make us stand out as much as adopting a children’s home. Besides, what is better than than giving back to the community. It would definitely make us stand out more than just a one-day affair where the money invested in this initiative could be much more worthy and beneficial to the community. It is a much more effective way in reaching out to the community. This evidently shows that adopting a local children’s home would be a much more ideal and pragmatic choice. The gala anniversary concert would cost a lot of money because of the rental of the Esplanade theatre. Moreover, it would be time consuming to plan and rehearse for such a large scale concert. Our performing arts groups already have many opportunities to perform in school and public. Similarly, the carnival where the community is participating would be time consuming because of the large scale of preparation and coordination.

I am certain that when the school comes together to give back to the community, it will would promote cohesion and school spirit too. Furthermore, we would also earn respect from the members of public and get more support in the things we do with the initiative. I hope that this initiative would not only benefit Broadrick but also the community and it will help us achieve our goal of cohesion within the school and the community. I hope you concur with me and I look forward to your favourable reply. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Casper Lee
Casper Lee
Student from Class 5A1

Task Fulfilment = 4
Language = 12

Comments

You must explain how the proposal would be implemented (I added some details in paragraph 3). Paragraph 4 should not focus on the children’s home anymore. Explain why the other two events are not recommended. For these reasons, you did not do well for Task Fulfilment.

Block 23 King Street
#08-489
Singapore 480023

25 August 2013

Mdm Heng Seng Mee
Principal
Broadrick Secondary School
61 Dakota Crescent
Singapore 399935

Dear Mdm Heng,

Best use of the money donated for the school and the community.

I am Casper Lee from Class 5A1. Our school has recently obtained a sum of money from an organization to sponsor the school in its newest initiative. The aim of the initiative is to promote cohesion and school spirit among the students as well as elevate the image of the school in the community. The teachers have suggested initiatives such as a gala anniversary concert at the Esplanade, a school carnival that will be open to the public or adoption of the local children’s home. After much deliberation, I have concluded that the adoption of the local children’s home would be the ideal initiative that would help us achieve our goals.

The adoption of the local children’s home would help us give us back to the community and elevate the image of the school in the community. We could also have more Community Involvement Programmes (CIP) for all the students of Broadrick. Additionally, by using the student body, we could reach out to the community by actively participating in fundraising events and social services. This would mean that not only do we benefit the children in the home through the adoption, but we also garner more attention so that members of the public could contribute significantly to the home. Together with that, it would help promote our school as it would evidently show that we are a school that nurtures the students to be less self-centered and teaches us moral values that would make us better adults. The social services that the students engage in would definitely appeal to parents who wish to bring up their child in the right environment. Perhaps, we could expect more students enrolling into our school which would most likely stand out among all the schools.

The money sponsored should mainly be used in renovating the children’s home which has not been renovated for almost two decades. We should have an event where we announce to members of public that we are adopting the home. We could also include in that event how we would like to improve the home such as the renovation and services as a part of CIP from the students. Every class would be rotated to perform volunteer service at the home. This could inspire other schools which may be motivated to follow our footsteps. Moreover, businessmen could donate if we seem promising and convincing enough. This would significantly increase the sum of money we have to invest in making the home a much better place for the children.
On the other hand, the reason I did not choose a gala anniversary concert or have a school carnival is because it would not make us stand out as much as adopting a children’s home. The gala anniversary concert would cost a lot of money because of the rental of the Esplanade theatre. Moreover, it would be time consuming to plan and rehearse for such a large scale concert. Our performing arts groups already have many opportunities to perform in school and public. Similarly, the carnival where the community is participating would be time consuming because of the large scale of preparation and coordination.

I am certain that when the school comes together to give back to the community, it would promote cohesion and school spirit too. Furthermore, we would also earn respect from members of public and get more support in the things we do with the initiative. I hope that this initiative would not only benefit Broadrick but also the community. I hope you concur with me and I look forward to your favourable reply. Thank you.

Yours sincerely
Casper Lee
Casper Lee
Student from Class 5A1