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Names are supposed to be a method of identifying someone or something and giving it meaning and power. All thoroughout time a name has

either equated to respect for deeds accomplished, horror for attrocities committed, or disdain for the hours that name equates with a sloth

invalid who only sits on the couch and watches re runs of Battlestar Galactica. Which lets of course face facts the only beautiful women on

that show are killing spree heavy cyborgs. Back on the topic, great care should be given when naming. That is unless you're a veteran of

Woodstock and smoked more Marijuana than Wiz Khalifa in Amsterdam. Then you name your kid singing flowers or strawberry sunshine, thus

dooming them to virgininty until their 18th birthday when they can legally change their name. Therefore, great care must be stressed when

attempting to name such an intimidating Rubber du... I mean weapon. In the realm of the bolt action, magazine fed, 30 round magazine, gas

operated, shoulder fired Chuck Norris approved M16, the utter devastation this weapon can cause must have a title fitting of its gregarious

nature. Therefore I have chosen to name my rifle Kim Kardashian. For she spits and sprays deadly obscenities and is responsible for ruining

many a mans life. While still and unmoving, Kim is beautiful and audacious. But anger her and she will lay waste like an all night

Hollywood Kegger with Robert Downey Jr. invited to it. This great piece of weaponry with an even more infamous name is like a sacred

treasure that should be accounted for and respected like a pretentious grandparent. One must keep track of Kim like a guy dating a girl

way too hot for him with copious amounts of male friends. The mistreatment and neglect of such a prize can only be met with swift and

inexorable justice. How could Jet Li not be a Kung Fu Legend if he forgot his special effects crew? How could Barrack enact Obamacare

without The Good Idea Fairy