Advantages And Disadvantages Of Homeless Response Letter
The homeless responded to a letter to the Mayor to arrange a meeting with the public. The strengths, weaknesses, and revision recommendations will be explored. In reviewing this letter there are many strengths. First, the greeting and professional tone are appropriate, as well as, the clear expectations of the letter. It was a professional decision to respond to a letter from the Mayor with respect. Furthermore, grammar and capitalization were both consistently correct. The letter was nicely written, limiting the weaknesses. However, the letter would look more professional if the beginning of each paragraph were indented. Also, the first paragraph is a run-on sentence which causes everything to "jumble" together causing confusion.
In addition, by adding punctuation to the first paragraph the letter would flow smoother. For example, "This letter is in response to your last letter to us: the homeless protesters outside of City Hall, and the notices posted Saturday, May 10, declaring our protest an illegal campground; giving us until Tuesday night, May 13, to end our protest." This revision allows pauses during the sentence, allowing to process what is being said instead of everything running together. Saturday was also misspelled, but corrected in the revised paragraph above. Furthermore, the style of the letter is professional and easy to read. It was clear to follow what the purpose of the letter was intended for, and what the homeless' concerns are. On-the-other hand, the sentence "We appreciate your efforts but we want to talk about where those who cannot get in to a shelter are supposed to go." Should have a comma inserted like this" "We appreciate your efforts, but we want to talk..." In the third paragraph, "But the dialogue you and your staff have..." The word "But" should be ommited, as well as the word "let" in the sentence, "If it's not, please let suggest other times you could meet before the end of business on Tuesday." In conclusion, These few corrections will allow the letter to flow smoother with less confusion. The style, professionalism, proper capitalization, and grammar all contribute to a successful letter.
In addition, by adding punctuation to the first paragraph the letter would flow smoother. For example, "This letter is in response to your last letter to us: the homeless protesters outside of City Hall, and the notices posted Saturday, May 10, declaring our protest an illegal campground; giving us until Tuesday night, May 13, to end our protest." This revision allows pauses during the sentence, allowing to process what is being said instead of everything running together. Saturday was also misspelled, but corrected in the revised paragraph above. Furthermore, the style of the letter is professional and easy to read. It was clear to follow what the purpose of the letter was intended for, and what the homeless' concerns are. On-the-other hand, the sentence "We appreciate your efforts but we want to talk about where those who cannot get in to a shelter are supposed to go." Should have a comma inserted like this" "We appreciate your efforts, but we want to talk..." In the third paragraph, "But the dialogue you and your staff have..." The word "But" should be ommited, as well as the word "let" in the sentence, "If it's not, please let suggest other times you could meet before the end of business on Tuesday." In conclusion, These few corrections will allow the letter to flow smoother with less confusion. The style, professionalism, proper capitalization, and grammar all contribute to a successful letter.