Alondra Cruz The Multinational Society Summary

The following is a critique of the negative and the positives of Alondra Cruz’s essay on The Multinational Society A statement of theory that is put forward as a premise to be maintained or proved, that is the definition of a theses. Alondra’s essay lacks just that. Within the first paragraph there is no theses statement nor is there one restated in the conclusion of the passage. I suggest to visit this website (https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ ) this website not only explains what a theses statement is, but how to write a strong one step by step. Along with having no theses this essay lacks in quotes. Not only does the paper not obtain enough quotes, but the ones it does contain are poor quality. In the last paragraph “The world is here” was used. Instead she could have used the full quote of “to become a place where the culture of the world crisscrosses. This is possible because the United States is unique in the world: The world is here.” Not only is the work more supported, but also has a thicker quote.
Another issue I would like to address is the insufficient illustration.
The assignment was not to construct a summary of the story you choose, but to personally relate to the subject in great detail. I would have liked to hear a personal relation to paragraph 3, maybe something along the lines of experiencing America’s arrogates. More so she only gave a glimpse of a personal example in paragraph 2 where she could have written in more detail about the “type of song played at my house hold that are less known.”. She needed more description for the paragraph to have a completed illustration. Over all this essay does not fulfil the criteria for the assignment. It may have the MLA format, but it comes drastically short to the 1200 word requirement and also is not an illustrated essay which was the main
goal. This essay may have had some down falls but is also full of some positives such as organization. Alondra’s essay had a clear introduction followed by perfectly executed paragraphs body paragraphs. The body paragraphs had the topic sentence along with detailed background information and her conclusion was short and clear. The information she includes in her body paragraphs are quite extensive. They cover all the main points such as, “how the media has been a huge part of society and makes is easier to share our cultures” (Para, 2), to European influences and the mixing of cultures. This easy not only has proper organization, buy great background. Alondra was also successful in sentence structure. They were simple and clear to understand. Her compound sentences contained at least two independent clauses. There were also complex sentences that have subordinate clauses and compound- complexity. Transition sentences were also a star in this work. The transitions words and phrases are vital for composition. Her smooth transition sentences improved the connections between sentences and paragraphs. This essay may have missed the mark for the assignment but reached the proper and technical format required.