As A Driven Leaf By Milton Steinberg

The book As a Driven Leaf, by Milton Steinberg, poignantly depicts the internal conflict between faith and knowledge within Rabbi Elisha ben Abuya. Though the majority of the story is rooted in fiction, Steinberg accurately portrays the pain that results from the schism of convictions and the realities that contradict them. As a person who has experienced crises of faith, I deeply connected with this book. Rabbi Elisha struggles to coincide his values as a Jew with terrible events that he witnesses in the world around him: a conflict that I understand too well. For years, my family faced financial struggles, all of which finally culminated in being forced to leave my home of seventeen years just this past summer. While most of my friends enjoyed
The words at the end of benching, “You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing” became bitter in my mouth. My needs were seemingly abandoned by the Creator, let alone my desires. As the daughter of two God fearing parents who devote themselves to mitzvot and brake their backs attaining an impeccable Jewish education for their children, my family's dismal situation contradicts every belief I have. This drew me to As a Drive Leaf, as I was finally able to connect with Rabbi Elisha. His flight from God never made sense to me until I experienced his deep sense of doubt. Like me, many young Jews struggle with a lapse of faith in varying degrees, thus making Rabbi Elisha's departure from the belief in fantastical events to skepticism seem appealing. A logical explanation for human suffering that is devoid of the struggle and confusion of doubt seemsalmost too good to be true. However, by following his journey, I witnessed the outcome of a life devoid of God: pain, questioning, and more doubt. By the end, Rabbi Elisha and I both came to realize that doubt is as much a part of life as the laws of