Blue Monologue

I’m a caterpillar. Crawling around with not a single idea what my future holds for me. I have always felt I was different from all the other insects. They all seem to know who they are and what their purpose is. But not me, I don’t have the slightest clue. I have always felt that I’ve been trapped inside the completely wrong body. And that somehow when I was just a little larvae, I was mistaken and introduced as something I knew I wasn’t. Well they were correct about who I was physically but mentally... they were not even close. I dream of the day when the sun is at it’s highest point and I can finally fly, fly and keep flying as much as my heart desires. The day where I’ll be completely free from everything I feel and eventually know once
Reminding me of the crippling depression and dysphoria that follows me around like a shadow. Why do I have to feel like this?? I crawl on with this thought bouncing around in my head like a pinball machine. My name is Elliot Grey, I remind myself. And I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Today the sun’s at its highest point in the sky and there's not a cloud in sight. I feel the nuclear fusion across my skin, which makes the hair on my arms and legs stand on end. What will this day hold for me? I wonder.
As I crawl along, I hear Warrick tapping along the tree. Although he is a woodpecker, we actually get along quite well. Warrick is the neighborhood adviser in a way. You see, his name is latin for “true” and he certainly lives up to his name from what i've heard. I've never really spoke to him in a needing advice type of way. It has always been more of a friendly chit chat interaction but even that i'm not so good at. Nonetheless, it's okay because he always has a way of making me feel like i'm not socially awkward, even though I clearly
“Hello Elia” he says to me as I groan at the sound of my birth name. He already knows I hate that name so my groaning is no surprise to him. But he doesn't know why. “When will you learn to love yourself Elia?” he says. I think on his question for a moment before responding quietly. “Shouldn't I know who i'm loving first?” He looks at me, ruffles his feathers and then chirps something inaudible to himself before responding. He takes an enormous breath and says “To be happy you must be content with yourself and your own thoughts. Nothing in this world comes easy. So if you want something bad enough, be prepared to fight for it. In the end you might surprise yourself and find that what you've been looking for has been right in front of you all