Blue Monologue
[–]damnit_blondemoment 92 points 2 months ago
Edit - Sorry, I didn't realize I'd write a novel. TL;DR at the bottom.
Early Myspace days. He moves to my extremely tiny town to live with his father for awhile and save money. Searches for people to hang out with. Of all the people he messaged (20+), I was the only one to message back. He was cute, why not? We message back and forth. Finally meet. Super cute. He thinks I'm cute, too. We continue to hang out, he asks me to be his girlfriend a month or so down the road. I'm super unsure, I had bad previous relationships. However, I go with it. I like him, he likes me. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?
It's cool for awhile. But I've got insecurities. Issues. I bristle when his friends come over. I get annoyed at stupid things, instigate fights. I don't understand how to communicate, nor do I really understand what's going on in my own mind. He tries his best to keep up with me and keep me happy, he really does. But for some reason I was just never satisfied.
Finally, …show more content…
I was starting from scratch. I had grown up the hard way - I learned how loyal I could be, I also learned humility. I called Myspace-Guy one day out of the blue to hang out. He's in town the next day - a long drive - and I finally take notice of how far he goes out of his way. Not really just for me, but for all of his friends. Super genuine. We begin to see each other regularly again. Once a week. Now twice. I find myself trudging through the work weeks to make it to the weekend when I can see him.
Five months into the year, he slams on the brakes. He asks me to be his girlfriend. I balk. I don't answer. Old feelings are coming back and they are petrifying. Now he's giving me an ultimatum, and I understand why. He can't continue seeing me if I'm going to string him along again. He doesn't want a broken heart again. I don't answer. He takes that as a "no." and
Edit - Sorry, I didn't realize I'd write a novel. TL;DR at the bottom.
Early Myspace days. He moves to my extremely tiny town to live with his father for awhile and save money. Searches for people to hang out with. Of all the people he messaged (20+), I was the only one to message back. He was cute, why not? We message back and forth. Finally meet. Super cute. He thinks I'm cute, too. We continue to hang out, he asks me to be his girlfriend a month or so down the road. I'm super unsure, I had bad previous relationships. However, I go with it. I like him, he likes me. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?
It's cool for awhile. But I've got insecurities. Issues. I bristle when his friends come over. I get annoyed at stupid things, instigate fights. I don't understand how to communicate, nor do I really understand what's going on in my own mind. He tries his best to keep up with me and keep me happy, he really does. But for some reason I was just never satisfied.
Finally, …show more content…
I was starting from scratch. I had grown up the hard way - I learned how loyal I could be, I also learned humility. I called Myspace-Guy one day out of the blue to hang out. He's in town the next day - a long drive - and I finally take notice of how far he goes out of his way. Not really just for me, but for all of his friends. Super genuine. We begin to see each other regularly again. Once a week. Now twice. I find myself trudging through the work weeks to make it to the weekend when I can see him.
Five months into the year, he slams on the brakes. He asks me to be his girlfriend. I balk. I don't answer. Old feelings are coming back and they are petrifying. Now he's giving me an ultimatum, and I understand why. He can't continue seeing me if I'm going to string him along again. He doesn't want a broken heart again. I don't answer. He takes that as a "no." and