cause and effect with corrections
ENC 1101 [T Th 8:00-9:15] Prof. Gatz
10/1/2010
[P3, Cause or Effect] see all my notes in bold Shy State of Mind
Introductory Paragraph:
In cultures that value outspokenness and overt confidence, shyness can be perceived as weakness. To a heartless observer, a shy individual may be mistaken as distant or arrogant; it is quite unfortunate that shy people get treated like this. It sometimes starts within their families. Interesting intro so far. What’s thesis, and what are points that indicate cause or effect? Begin parag with topic sentence. Some kids are born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes babies even act shy. It can just sneak up. A person might feel fine practicing soccer kicks, but then feel nervous when the coach comes over to give a few pointers. While the family member tease, even if no harm is meant by it, does serious harm to the child’s self-esteem. Being frequently teased could cause withdraw from others to avoid it. Letting the child express his/her self could help. Family members should help find activities, such as sports or hobbies, at which they can excel to boost their self-esteem. I don’t know how to evaluate what you have because thesis and topic sentence are missing People often tease shy children. OK, then effects from that.
A child not having much to say is never a bad thing could just mean him/her are thinking over what’s being said to them at the moment, or could have not learned how to adequately express themselves. People will notice that “don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say” attitude and very often they choose to view shy people as simply being calmer. In this society, where people are more often rewarded for “tooting their own horn,” being quiet and calm can have a profound positive impact on others. wha Because shy children avoid other people and certain social situations, they don't learn the right communication skills. One effect, good. And because they lack communication
10/1/2010
[P3, Cause or Effect] see all my notes in bold Shy State of Mind
Introductory Paragraph:
In cultures that value outspokenness and overt confidence, shyness can be perceived as weakness. To a heartless observer, a shy individual may be mistaken as distant or arrogant; it is quite unfortunate that shy people get treated like this. It sometimes starts within their families. Interesting intro so far. What’s thesis, and what are points that indicate cause or effect? Begin parag with topic sentence. Some kids are born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes babies even act shy. It can just sneak up. A person might feel fine practicing soccer kicks, but then feel nervous when the coach comes over to give a few pointers. While the family member tease, even if no harm is meant by it, does serious harm to the child’s self-esteem. Being frequently teased could cause withdraw from others to avoid it. Letting the child express his/her self could help. Family members should help find activities, such as sports or hobbies, at which they can excel to boost their self-esteem. I don’t know how to evaluate what you have because thesis and topic sentence are missing People often tease shy children. OK, then effects from that.
A child not having much to say is never a bad thing could just mean him/her are thinking over what’s being said to them at the moment, or could have not learned how to adequately express themselves. People will notice that “don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say” attitude and very often they choose to view shy people as simply being calmer. In this society, where people are more often rewarded for “tooting their own horn,” being quiet and calm can have a profound positive impact on others. wha Because shy children avoid other people and certain social situations, they don't learn the right communication skills. One effect, good. And because they lack communication