Cohabitation Before Marriage

Cohabitation has become more widely acceptable in the United States and for some couples it has replaced the idea or desire for marriage. Lamanna, Riedmann, and Stewart (2015) report, “in the early twentieth century, living together outside of marriage was illegal in every state and relatively uncommon” (p. 142). But, times have changed and now more than “7.6 million U.S. heterosexual couples cohabit” (Lamanna et al., p.142). Couples live together without getting married for several reasons such as convenience, companionship, and compatibility. Meg Jay, a writer for the New York Times, and author of, The Downside of Cohabitation Before Marriage (2012), pointed out “the majority of young adults in their 20’s will live with a romantic partner
Jay (2012) suggests that “women are more likely to view cohabitation as a step towards marriage, while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or postpone commitment.” Lamanna et al. (2015) states that “on average cohabitating relationships are relatively short-term, because the couple either breaks up or marries. Some reasons include the fact that, for the most part, cohabitating partners are not committed to their relationship as married partners are” (p. 146). I believe that it is important to communicate any expectations that one might have as they enter this type of living situation. “Peoples reasoning for living together as an alternative to marriage may include the belief that marriage is too confining, signifies loss of identity, or stifles partners equality and communication” (Lamanna et al., 2015, p. 146). If a person’s partner has any of these feelings it is a good idea to be upfront and forthcoming with this
It is important to voice one’s concerns, expectations, and hopes for any relationship. Moving in together is a big step for both people involved and having an open discussion of what it means to each individual is important. Making a pro and con list can be beneficial in order for the two people to get an idea of each other’s expectations and fears. This is a way to have everything out in the open so there are no surprises. Cohabitation as an alternative to marriage is not for everyone and couples should have an open line of communication when discussing this as an option. There are many factors which should be taken into consideration when considering this living situation and ultimately couples should decide which arrangement is the best for