Throughout my childhood I cannot remember ever being told that I was adopted. Instead, I grew up in a way I would call normal--the same as my two non-adopted brothers. That is until other people began to let me know that I was unique. They made comments about how most families look the same whereas …show more content…
I am Asian and my family is Caucasian. Others assumed I grew up in Asia and started speaking Mandarin to me, even though I have never spoken a word of it. More recently people have concluded I am married to my brother because we look unalike. Being called ‘different’ at an early age, yet not feeling different, taught me that it is not necessarily bad because everyone is unique in some way--whether you can physically see it (like my Asian face) or not.
In this way, the experience of growing up adopted has helped me connect with others. When I was younger I did not have much interest in my adoption because I did not feel different. However, as time went on and people pointed out my unique situation, I used this knowledge to make connections instead of alienating others.
For example, there is a girl in my math class who clearly struggles.
She has strange hobbies and mannerisms and asks lots of questions that are obvious to the rest of the class. Many in my class make fun of her. When she sits next to me, I try to help her with both her math and in feeling good about who she is. Without my personal experience of growing up different I would not have understood what she was going through and would have missed out on a friendship with her.
Sometimes it is not as easy to see someone’s differences, especially when they are internal. Another friend of mine has a cheery, positive attitude in school. Despite her bubbly outward appearance, one day I could see that something was wrong. I know that it is hard to talk about things that are going wrong, so instead of asking her about it, I just offered her support and friendship. Later, she opened up to me that she was going through a tough time as her parents were getting divorced. She appreciated my friendship and now we have become better friends with a greater level of trust.
Whether someone’s differences are easily seen or extremely difficult to detect, everyone has them. My experience has not only shown me that being different is universal but also that differences can be beautiful. I have learned that diversity brings us
together.
In any community that I join, I seek out everyone’s uniqueness and share my own. Everyone is special whether they recognize it or not. I have learned that it helps to embrace what sets us apart from others because it helps build relationships. Our individuality is something that connects us. My adoption is still something I am learning about, but I do know that my differences have given me the ability to make new friends and communities wherever I go.