But there are times I felt there wasn’t enough intimacy in my life which then causes me to want to closed up and isolate from people.
Truthfully, I had been loneness I haven’t found a significant other, even my parents were a bit concern for me that I would end up just alone when I grow up. But when I was at the end of the first year of college, I find myself freer to just be able to love myself first before I could love another person. I wanted to build connections to myself and what my beliefs were. Therefore I end up focusing everyday on what kind of person I needed to be first before I could truly get into a committed
relationship. Being individualist requires emotional and mental support and the strength to find motivation to keep going. If I could change one thing about my past, it is just to be able to emotional be stronger, and not overthink about what others want from me. I wanted to be my own individual and able to discover life as I go. There are many times I fear I would end up on the streets because of my decisions, there are times I was afraid I would be a burden to family and friends. I fear I would not be able to contributed to society, and not able to find my purpose and reasoning. I find it most difficult when I am fighting with myself and its imperfections, I recognized as obstacle one day I will get over. Despite all my interior struggles, I will cherish the experiences and people that I was able to discover growing up.
For large portions of the time, I was lead to believe you had to go to school to be able to be successful. Truthfully, I find myself not always enjoying school, but felt forced to stay in order to be successful. As I got older, I discover one’s success is comes from their motivation and achievements. However, I am still grateful for what school had brought in for me, and there is still significance importance to going to school. I just wished I had been able to focus more outside of academics and able to explore out in my community more and able to build more human connections.