“Hobson (1985) has suggested that the bond between counsellor and client grows from the creation of a shared ‘feeling language’, a way of talking together that allows expression of the feelings of the client” (J. McLeod, 1998 p 348).
In this assignment I intend to identify the 3 counselling skills: reflecting, immediacy and summarising and show how they can be used in a helping relationship.
Reflecting
I think Pete Sanders describes this skill succinctly and well when he says: “Reflection is the basic skill of emphatic understanding and at its most simple involves reflecting the content of the other person’s utterance back to them.” (2011, p 108). I’m discovering that you need to employ your active listening skills fully to pick up the key aspects (content and/or feelings) of the speaker’s story or issue and offer them back to help clarify a point or issue. This can help acknowledge and show understanding of where the person is at so they can move on or elaborate a point.
Very recently, during my second experience in trio work as counsellor, I could have used reflecting more effectively at the beginning of the session, to help me understand and establish the client’s story/content: the client was describing a fairly complex background to a family situation that was upsetting her and she felt uncertain about what to do. To start with I didn’t understand the situation fully and felt a bit confused with her story. The client was feeling upset