Comparing Erikson, Elkind And Milner

DEVELOPMENT AND PUNISHMENT.

At the beginning of this class, we discussed the different stages of development in middle

and high schoolers. So in this paper, I will use the theories of Erikson, Elkind and Milner’s

stages of development and I will compare them with “Not Much just chilling” and “Nobody Left

To Hate”.I will then discuss whether or not I agree with Erikson, Elkind and Milner’s theories. I

will also apply Elkind's theory of Vanishing Makers and his discussion on what the problem with

pre-teens and teens are. Finally, I will use Milner's theory of social status and how this is critical

in forming a group and or self identity in Junior High and High School.The second question was

to conduct a
research on punishment styles and effect. I will discussed the research I conduct and

talk about how parent disciplined their children these days.Then I will use my own observation

and experience to agree or not on todays form of punishment.

In Erikson's Stage Four, he states that this stage pertains to children that are in Grade

School (K-5) at which means the children are the ages of six to eleven. He states that the basic

conflict in this stage that children strive to get good grades, and that things such as school,

hobbies, and to have structure. Erikson also states that the outcome of this strive is that "success

leads to a sense of competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority." What Erikson is

stating is that to a middle schooler, it is very important to get good grades and to have a very

structured life where the child parent , teacher and after school helpers in one’s life.

Erikson's Stage Five states that this stage consists of Junior High and High School students,

who are of the ages between twelve and eighteen. Erikson states that the basic conflict is one's

identity and the most important thing is to the ability to get accepted into high schoolers peer

group. He mentions that "teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. Success

leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure results in feelings of inferiority." I believe

what Erikson is trying to say is that it is better to fit in with his peer group to get good grades;

and that if a student dose not fit in with his or her pear group he or she will develop a low self

esteem and become depressed.

By comparing Erikson's Stage Four and Five in regards to Perlstein's "Not Much

Just Chill `in" and Aronson's "Nobody Left to Hate"; I will give one example of a student from

each book and describe how their life was different from Grade School to the way they view

school and structure now in Junior High School. One illustration where we can see this stage in

effect in regards to school work and grades, is with Eric. Eric was a good student before he

entered Junior High School and always did his homework and even had a strait B average in the

beginning of the sixth grade; and he also states that he could get all A's if he tried; but by the end

of the eight grade Eric "sometimes do his work and sometimes he doesn't" (16) The reason

for this as Perlstein states is because a "thirteen year old can't get interested in anything that

bores them, no matter how many times they are persuaded to do it, This is important, you'll see

why in ten years." (16) The reason for the change in his mind is because before Eric cared what

his teachers and parents thought of him and to be a good student meant that he would receive

rewards such as a pizza party; but now Perlstein later goes on to say that the threat of being made

fun of and called a "teachers pet" or an "egghead" are too mush for him and that he would rather

fail then to be made a laughing stock of the school.

Furthermore, in regards to Erikson's Stage Five in comparison to "Nobody Left to Hate" by

Aronson. Aronson states that the social status of a High School student is very important to the

make up of a hierarchy in school. He believes that it is this status that made the two psychos

Harris and Kelbold become evil. Aronson mentions that Harris was described as a "creepy"

person would have surprised students in his old school in Plattsburgh, New York. Aronson"

states that "when teenagers move to a new town they have difficulty adjusting to their new

situations" (35) as one of the justifications for Harris being an outcast in Columbine. He also

states that Harris's need to not conform to his new school also made him an outcast by his new

pears.

This brings me to my next point Elkind's vanishing markers. Elkind states that there are

several different markers over the course of our life, and that these said markers are vanishing

especially for pre-teens and teenagers. Such markers like the types of clothes we wear, the

activities we engage in, and the images we see in the media, just to name three.

When it comes to the marker of clothing, Elkind mentions that children now a days are not

wearing the clothes of their age but the cloths that where meant for older generations. He states

that in years of old pre-teens where not allowed to where certain stiles such as makeup, but now

they are wearing makeup even younger than that.

Furthermore Elkind indicates that the activity markers are not apparent any more is because

more and more children at younger ages are starting to play team sports. He states that in years

of past children did not play team sports such as baseball and football until High School. I do not

agree with this assessment, because children have been playing sports at the Grade School level

for a very long time. For example, Basketball for younger teens has been available for century

and they still play the game even when they are older.

Finally, Elkind states that the reason the image and information marker are vanishing

because of the media. He mentions that it is because of the media and how they portray pre-teens

and teenagers in a more grown up manner with adult styles and attitudes is the major reasons for

the other vanishing markers such as clothes and activities. He also states that the media has made

violence and sex more accessible to young adults and has forced children to grow up too fast.

Aronson states that one way to fix this problem with the media is to have "Congress exert

pressure on the entertainment industries to show some restraint" and to "establish a useful rating

system so that parents can attempt to exercise sensible vigilance over what their children

watch."(62)

I also do not agree with this Elkind and his markers. I feel that all these vanishing markers

really comes down to the lack of parenting. For instance, when it comes to the clothing marker, if

parents have a problem with what the children are buying then the parents should not buy those

types of clothes for them; and if they see that their child has went out and bought this type of

clothing then the parents should rip off the outfit and throw it in the garbage. As for the media,

"society dose not reflect art, art reflects society." Moreover, as for Aronson's idea to correct this

marker is wrong; there already is a sufficient rating system for movies, games, and TV. If one

really wants to correct this then one has to stop buying and letting their children watch or play

these adult types of entertainment. We hear all the time that this game is too violent or there is

just too much sex on the TV, if that was what parents really thought then why do they have TV

under their roof. A good example of this is the game "Scareface", if the movie is all about drugs

and gangs what do you thing the game is about; and this game is rated M for mature.

Finally, Milner states in "Freaks, Geeks, and Cool Kids" that High School is filed with a

type of social hierarchy that is very instrumental to the development of our children. He states

that High Schoolers are filled with cliques and that there is a very clear case of who is on the top

of the hierarchy and who is on the bottom. Milner mentions that these cliques are broken up by

several different key elements: what music, clothes or activities the student does, decides where

on the hierarchy he or she will fit. He states that the Athletes and the richer kids are the ones on

top of the hierarchy. Milner also makes an insight that most of the cool kids have five major

thinks in common. The first is to be confident in everything you do. The second would be to

have social skills with your pears and adults. Third one has to take risks. The fourth aspect in

being cool is to appear non-ceiling. Finally, the fifth element that most cool kids share is a

tendency to resist or partially resist authority. We can see how this might affect some students; one example of this is in "Nobody Left to

Hate". Harris and Kelbold were on the bottom of this social hierarchy

and because they were picked on and bullied, we are told is why they went crazy; even though I

do not agree with this. We learned that the reason they did not fit in with the cool kids was

because of there clothes and their unwillingness to fit in.
This in my opinion is not a justifiable excuse because at every stage in one's life we all

have to deal with changes; whether it is changing grades, schools, neighborhoods, jobs, etc.

Chang is the one thing that is constant in our lives. Moreover, in order to change with these

changes one must conform to his or her new society in order to fit in. For example, if a person

grew up in the inner-city and then moved to the suburbs he or she could not act like he or she did

in their old neighborhood but have to make adjustments in the way he or she acts and behaves in

order to fit in with the suburban way of life. Another example would be work you can not go

from one job to the next and think that you are going to do everything at the new job the same

way you did them at the old one and expect to still have a job at the end of the week. These two

kids were disturbed evil psychos and people like them should not be pitied and we should not try

to find the root cause of their evil because they are no different to Charley Manson, Jeffery

Domer, John Wayne Gassy,
Hitler. This brings me to the next part of this paper, which is my mine research on punishment

styles. For the last part of this paper I will discuss what is wrong with the data that is collected on

physical punishment and also what is wrong with the way we punish our youth today whether at

home or in school.

According to the American Medical Association physical or corporal punishment is "the

use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain, but not injury, for

the purpose of correction or control of the child's behavior." Furthermore, almost every study

states that corporal punishment brings about antisocial behaviors in children.
Gershoff states that

corporal punishment brings about a brake down in the quality of parent-child relationships, an

increase in the child's aggression, a moral brake down, and an immediate compliance to the

problem but not a solution to the long term problem.

When we look at the recent studies on physical punishment there are a couple of things that

are not addressed or the difference in the type of punishment that is used. First, the main thing

wrong with Gershoff `s study and others like hers is that they all do not see a difference between

a "open hand slap on the butt or wrist and a closed fist to the face or chest" according to

Baumrind, Cowan, and Larzelere. Another problem that they bring up is that these studies are not

done from a first hand scientific observation but over the phone or from the mouth of the

children themselves. Finally, they also stated that since these studies are not done in person
but

by hearsay, many abusive parents lie and are put into the study with non-abusive parents. Dr.

Richard Niolon states studies on corporal punishment take phrases like "beat" or "whip" literal

and not in the way they are they were intended to be used as slang for a spanking.

In addition, these studies do not take into account religious teachings about physical

punishment. When it comes to religious teachings most of the major religions teach that corporal

punishment is part of disciplining your child. Take for example, Christianity, the Bible teaches

that if you "spare the rod you spoil the child", "beat them for they won't die" and for "children to

obey your parents for your days may be long." These three sayings mention that in order to really

teach your children what is right one must use physical punishment, because a child will

remember that if he or she does something wrong they will feel pain and so these same children

will be more cautious when it comes to making decisions and will most likely chose the right

one. The studies on corporal punishment do not take into account if physical punishment is used

as a last resort or if it is the first thing parents turn to when punishing their children. These

studies also do not mention the correlation between the rise of hipper active disorders with the

decline of spankings. They also do not see that there were never school massacre when corporal

punishment was used on children more frequently and parents checked up and went through their

children's stuff. Aronson stated that if the parents of Harris and Kelbold's room they would of

found out what they were planning and be able to put a stop to it.

In conclusion, Erikson's Stage Four and Five talks about the development of Junior High

and High School students. Milner talks about the social hierarchy in High School, and Elkind

mentions that the reason why children act the way they do is because of the vanishing markers.

Finally, the second part of paper is about corporal punishment and what is wrong with the studies

that are done on this subject.