Competition And Happiness Rubin Analysis

In “Competition And Happiness,” by Theodore Rubin, he emphasizes that competition has evolved from being a mean of survival to strictly a corrosive comparison of ourselves in relation to others. Americans are trapped in a society where most are so fixated on elitism, that it leads them to stress over their success, progress, or self- perception relative to others. Whether it is in education, business, or socially, individuals are envious and jealous of other’s accomplishments and possessions to an extent where it leads our culture to ignore individuality. No matter if it is blatant or subterranean, a form of resentment is present, and it pushes one to be in constant competition with others. This type of mindset is what limits or even affects
the extent of one’s happiness due to the fact that instead of basing our capabilities or status on individuality we create hierarchies throughout society. I agree with Rubin that competition limits one’s happiness because if individuals constantly compare themselves to what the next person is doing they can never truly be content with their individual state and progress overall. Competition has many cons but its effect on one’s happiness is a major con that comes along with it. On my first chemistry midterm, I received an eighty-eight percent and I was quite content. However, when I looked at my rank out of the kids in my class and the little bit of satisfaction I had then diminished. The smile I had on my face was no longer there, and I felt inferior. Devastated with my performance, I felt as though i did not do enough. I was so stressed over the fact that I was not of the top ten students, that I didn't realize that individually an eighty-eight percent was still a very good grade. My comparison of myself to the other kids in the class killed my confidence and happiness with my current performance. I then became obsessed with my status in relation to others and began to isolate myself in lecture. Instead of talking and explaining answers to clicker questions to others, I decided to keep all my knowledge to myself. For me, the class was no longer only about comprehending the content but also excelling and being better than my peers. In connection to Rubin, this is a damaging idea because the constant comparison leads you to think that you are not good enough. You're constantly comparing your capabilities to the next however, there is always going to be someone better. With that being said, one will never truly be content or be able to help others improve because they are obsessed with being better than the next. Once you start to compare yourself to others you no longer have personal goals or unique individual characteristics because everything is based on the next person. How can you have a self- perception and a clear vision of what you want to be or how you want to grow as an individual if everything you do is to see if you compare favorably to others? The isolation causes you to become selfish, stubborn, and unhappy. You no longer ask for help nor do you provide assistance to others. You're so stuck in a state where you want to compare to the next that you're not allowing yourself an opportunity to collaborate with others to possibly produce better results. In society when you do things and perform a certain way for your own satisfaction you are more satisfied with your own progress. While when you competing against everyone else it prevents you from being content because you believe you could have done better or you did not do enough because another individual performed better than you. In short, you have to do things because that's within your interest and is genuinely pleasing to you not because you think that compared to others you will have some form of superiority. Competition is just a never ending race, one that you’ve lost before you even started. You’re lost when it comes to a sense of self, happiness, and purpose.
A young man by the name of Aidan Cullen, was pushed at a young age to excel in sports for his father's very own satisfaction.
What was once fun became dreadful and yet a competition for acceptance. Aidan stated, “ It got so, I just wanted to play well to make him happy. I would find myself looking at him on the sidelines after every play to see if he was smiling.” His father's push for him to shine amongst his peers made him disregard his love for the sport. His motive for playing was to make his father happy. Dreading making any mistakes, he was always stressed and worried that no matter what he did, it would never be good enough to meet his dad’s standards. He became paranoid and extremely stressed knowing that a minor mistake will lead to him being scolded and shunned by his father. This further demonstrates Rubin's point, that competition can prevent happiness because the competition was no longer for Aidan's personal satisfaction but rather for his father. It no longer was fun, it became more of a mission to be accepted by his father. Aidan was putting his individual happiness aside so to make his father proud. The moment when competition takes a turn for the worst is when each individual loses a sense of personal identity and individuality. He was no longer just aidan but his father, for everything he did reflected on his father. The pressure put on him by his father is what never allowed him to be truly content with his performance in games. The push for him to excel so his father can look like the father of the year left him in a constant state of distress. Wanting to have fun but can’t because what was once merely just a game became a status symbol and the cost of that was his
happiness.
People never realize the damage competition can do until it is too late. In this case, a father by the name of Mark Cullen had to face this harsh reality that his attempt to live through his son could have a negative outcome. “I pushed too far, did too much, helped break up my family and actually put my son’s life in jeopardy, all because I was seduced by his talent,” said Mark. Mark was not obsessed with his son’s success, but how his son’s competitive success in sports reflected on him as a parent in comparison to other parents. Mark invested so much time fulfill what Rubin states as “ parental craving for competitive success,” he neglected his duties as a parent and a husband. Spending eight hour days taking Aidan from practice to practice, Mark was assuring that he would receive those cheers that he so desperately yearned for. “Everybody cheered him so much, I felt like they were cheering for me. I loved it. I loved the power of it.”(Mark Cullen). Trying to live through his son resulted in Aidan developing a chronic disease. His selfish craving blinded him and prevented him for truly caring about Aidan's happiness. For his own personal satisfaction was his reason for pushing Aidan to be not only good but great. He began to isolate himself from his own wife to assure that Aidan would be a star, and that he would once again feel empowered, but his competitive strivings left him short of a family and joy. This relates to Rubin because it shows the turn for the worst that competition can have on one's desires. Individuals push so much for a status that they don't realize they are losing themselves, and in this case their family in the process. Mark further demonstrated how competition can leave you with nothing but sadness and guilt, and that our wrong intentions can leave us with bad results.