Deirdre's 'Yes Ma' Am

“Self” expresses an individual person as the object as his or her own reflective consciousness. It expresses one’s own interest of struggle and gain, as well as having their own consciousness of one’s being or identity. In the story “Yes Ma’am” by Deirdre McCloskey, and the Ted Talk “embracing otherness, embracing myself” by Thandie Newton both share a conception of one’s self through being mindful of the impact of society and the role that is expected to be played, but is confident and accustomed in what makes them content with themselves mentally. They differ for the reason that Deirdre explains the gesture differences amongst men and women despite the fact that she uses the women gestures to display her feminine qualities. Thandie speaks
about going through hardships while she was growing up as well as obtaining her dancing and acting career. The attempt of trying to be accepted, but was repeatedly rejected by society and not being able to fit. However, she explains that “self” shapes out interactions with others and the world around us. Also how the connections of self and being judged shape the way people feel about themselves.
Thandie expresses the fact of not being born with self but developing one as we are taught about ourselves the details, opinions and ideas from parents, family and friends that influence a person’s character.
On the other hand those details opinions and ideas become fact to navigate the construction of ourselves (identity). She states that our self-projection is based on others projections and complicates who one is and who one wants to be. Newton Implies that the things individuals do and are successful at is mocked by others because it is perceived to be the “right way” to do things: also entitled an organized or controlled society. Thandie Newton articulates that “self is not a living thing…things that are affected by society like jobs, money, cars we drive and jewelry devalue life.” Newton evaluates her quote by stating self remains inside, not being defined of what someone has or what someone have earned but being content with knowing who one is intellectually and emotionally. People must use uniqueness and creativity of the mind to be one’s own
person.
Thandie talks about throughout her life she has been distanced in character and in the color of her skin. She explains that being a black atheist attending a white catholic school every one look at her as different. Thandie’s mother being black from Zimbabwe, and her father being from Cornwall was a problem growing up in the time period she grew up in. Trying to escape the reality of being different she finds a passion for dancing and acting. Newton expressed that she felt at peace in another world with herself. “Dysfunctional self could plug into another self, not my own and it felt so good”. She states that the nagging selfhood did not exist when she danced. Thandie says that she would put all of her expression into dancing. She would forget about where she was or even who she was and the problems of being an outcast.
Deirdre was once a husband for three decades with two children, and after internal struggle she began the process of gender change.
Years after her scholarly work in the field of gender studies Deirdre articulates the gestures of men and women and how they carry themselves. She explains how she watched other women in her culture for characteristic gestures and would do them on the spot. She would perceive the women to check their hair frequently, play idly with their jewelry, rest with hands together, and years after her transition she would use these gestures to be noticed as feminine women. While Deirdre was at a conference someone told her, “last year your motions were a little abrupt; now they are convincingly feminine”.
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Deirdre and Thandie both explain the concept of being’s one’s self in different ways. Thandie expresses the point of being judged and looked down upon. In addition, she tries to understand the meaning of one’s self by recognizing who she is, and what she wants throughout her life and career. On the other hand, Deirdre has overcome who she once was and is at ease with being a women, and showing off her feminine characteristics. She has found a self that she is able to be comfortable enough to write a book on her highly personal gender crossing experience. In the book Crossing: A Memoir Deirdre states “My gender crossing was motivated by identity, not by a balance sheet of utility”. Deirdre expresses that she became a women by her choice of how comfortable she felt not because of what society looked at her as. “Self” comes from the identity you give yourself or what others see you as not what you do as a career or what car you drive or how successful you are. As Deirdre talks about attempts to take a physical identity that strangers would accept her as a women and Thandie specks on the struggles of growing up as an outcast who never fit it, both authors share a conception of one’s self through being mindful of the impact of society and the role that is expected to be played, but is confident and accustomed in what makes them content with themselves mentally.