Dialectical Journal Essay
“Passengers flying Flight QF563, your gate is now open for boarding”, I peacefully sipped what remained of my coffee and waited for Joshua to finish his bacon and egg roll. Shortly after, we began to make our way to our designated gate. The smell of low-priced takeout food filled the air and couldn’t help, but leave me feeling overly excited. My son and I navigated our way through the clustered crowds of other keen travellers, following the signs above our heads as well as the announcements that were played through the speakers at the airport.
“Passengers flying Flight QF563, please be advised that Flight QF563 has been delayed for an hour, we apologise for any inconvenience”, the groans and murmurs from other passengers clearly demonstrated the irritation and anger that was felt by them. The airline we were flying with were one of the most reliable airlines in the world, so the fact that a flight of theirs was an hour delayed had obviously bewildered me, and a number of other people.
“What do you think happened to the plane?”, Joshua’s inquisitive personality for a 6-year-old had him constantly asking questions.
“Not too …show more content…
sure, I’ll ask one of the flight attendants when we get on the plane.” He was the kindest, most considerate, most innocent child you would’ve ever met. The way his soft brown hair covered his forehead, the way his eyes glistened in the shining sun, he was too pure for this world.
One hour had felt like a year but we were finally boarding the plane, I handed our boarding passes to the lady at the counter, she scanned them and forwarded us into the hallway where we would enter the aircraft. A terrible stench similar to the smell of toxic chemicals had filled the surrounding air.
“Eww the plane smells yucky!” exclaimed Joshua holding his nose to block the foul smell.
“Once we take off, it should go away hopefully” I answered in reassurance.
“Alright, look for 12H and 12J. Our seats are really good, they’re nice and close to the door”
“So if there’s an accident, we can get out quickly?”
“Yup”. Or at least that’s what I had thought.
Following the row numbers, we arrived at the seats that we would be spending the next 4 hours in. Joshua insisted on having the window seat.
I on the other hand, was too occupied listening to the flight attendants’ conversation, then to worry about what seat I was in.
I should’ve been in that seat, he was so young, he didn’t deserve it. If I sat in that seat, he would be still alive today.
“I don’t know what he’s thinking! If he knows the plane is not in a stable condition to fly, why is he about to commence takeoff?”
“It’ll be alright, he’s been flying planes for longer than we’ve been alive, he knows what he’s doing”
An hour delayed flight, a horrid smell and now the flight attendants arguing?
A chill went down my spine, as if my instincts were telling me something was going to go wrong. Not a single bone in my body opposed my mind’s disturbing thoughts. Butterflies filled my stomach, I continuously told myself, trying to reassure myself, that everything that happened was coincidental and nothing bad was going to happen.
The butterflies didn’t go away.
The seatbelt sign had lit up; We gradually started to speed up and before we knew it, Sydney’s blue waters and, once what seemed, humongous buildings were beyond us. Joshua squeezed my hand as tight as he could. The sensation of your insides floating up to your throat was not an enjoyable one for him. Tears slowly started escaping his adorably large, hazel eyes.
“I don’t like it” he sobbed, as he squeezed my hand.
“Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you as long as I’m with you. I promise, I love you” I am a person who stays true to my word, this was the first and last time I have ever broken a promise.
For the next 16 minutes, the flight continued on as any regular flight would. A few bumps here and there due to turbulence, a flight attendant getting someone’s order wrong, some people were already asleep.
Little did I know that my life was about to change forever, after those 16 minutes.
A loud ripping and hissing sound came from the door to the right of us, then a loud bang, it shook the aircraft. One and a half seconds later, the forward cargo door was ripped from the right side of the plane like a tin can. In those one and a half seconds, none of us knew what was going to happen, we simply looked at each other in confusion, searching for a sign of hope in at least one person’s eyes. Not a single person had confidence in them. The man and his sons in front us on were already saying their prayers, hoping and praying that nothing disastrous would happen. The screams and cries of people were blocked out by a high pitched whistling noise in both my ears, similar to the ones in the movies, except this was real life. The noise hurt my head, like there was a dog whistle that didn’t stop whistling in but in my ears. There was a whoosh of air to which then, the plane was filled with debris and terror. The oxygen masks dropped, but it’s not like anyone actually pays attention to the safety videos. I looked down to see Joshua’s hand holding my hand.
He wasn’t there.
An indescribable feeling rushed through my body, the butterflies I had been experiencing turned into lions, slowly devouring my body and soul, bit by bit.
I let out a blood-curdling scream, it felt as if it was a terrible nightmare, as if I would wake up and it would all be gone. Jayden would be lying down next to me, we would be in our warm beds looking at each other, but this wasn’t a nightmare, just identical to one. From that moment on I knew that the hardest part of this all was to continue living everyday. My worst fear, my worst nightmare, my worst horror had become a reality. A reality I wasn’t ready to continue with; a reality I would never be able to continue with. The emotions associated with losing a child are beyond inexpressible. My most cherished love had been taken away from me, and I would never be able to get him back
again.
“Passengers flying Flight QF563, please be advised that Flight QF563 has been delayed for an hour, we apologise for any inconvenience”, the groans and murmurs from other passengers clearly demonstrated the irritation and anger that was felt by them. The airline we were flying with were one of the most reliable airlines in the world, so the fact that a flight of theirs was an hour delayed had obviously bewildered me, and a number of other people.
“What do you think happened to the plane?”, Joshua’s inquisitive personality for a 6-year-old had him constantly asking questions.
“Not too …show more content…
sure, I’ll ask one of the flight attendants when we get on the plane.” He was the kindest, most considerate, most innocent child you would’ve ever met. The way his soft brown hair covered his forehead, the way his eyes glistened in the shining sun, he was too pure for this world.
One hour had felt like a year but we were finally boarding the plane, I handed our boarding passes to the lady at the counter, she scanned them and forwarded us into the hallway where we would enter the aircraft. A terrible stench similar to the smell of toxic chemicals had filled the surrounding air.
“Eww the plane smells yucky!” exclaimed Joshua holding his nose to block the foul smell.
“Once we take off, it should go away hopefully” I answered in reassurance.
“Alright, look for 12H and 12J. Our seats are really good, they’re nice and close to the door”
“So if there’s an accident, we can get out quickly?”
“Yup”. Or at least that’s what I had thought.
Following the row numbers, we arrived at the seats that we would be spending the next 4 hours in. Joshua insisted on having the window seat.
I on the other hand, was too occupied listening to the flight attendants’ conversation, then to worry about what seat I was in.
I should’ve been in that seat, he was so young, he didn’t deserve it. If I sat in that seat, he would be still alive today.
“I don’t know what he’s thinking! If he knows the plane is not in a stable condition to fly, why is he about to commence takeoff?”
“It’ll be alright, he’s been flying planes for longer than we’ve been alive, he knows what he’s doing”
An hour delayed flight, a horrid smell and now the flight attendants arguing?
A chill went down my spine, as if my instincts were telling me something was going to go wrong. Not a single bone in my body opposed my mind’s disturbing thoughts. Butterflies filled my stomach, I continuously told myself, trying to reassure myself, that everything that happened was coincidental and nothing bad was going to happen.
The butterflies didn’t go away.
The seatbelt sign had lit up; We gradually started to speed up and before we knew it, Sydney’s blue waters and, once what seemed, humongous buildings were beyond us. Joshua squeezed my hand as tight as he could. The sensation of your insides floating up to your throat was not an enjoyable one for him. Tears slowly started escaping his adorably large, hazel eyes.
“I don’t like it” he sobbed, as he squeezed my hand.
“Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you as long as I’m with you. I promise, I love you” I am a person who stays true to my word, this was the first and last time I have ever broken a promise.
For the next 16 minutes, the flight continued on as any regular flight would. A few bumps here and there due to turbulence, a flight attendant getting someone’s order wrong, some people were already asleep.
Little did I know that my life was about to change forever, after those 16 minutes.
A loud ripping and hissing sound came from the door to the right of us, then a loud bang, it shook the aircraft. One and a half seconds later, the forward cargo door was ripped from the right side of the plane like a tin can. In those one and a half seconds, none of us knew what was going to happen, we simply looked at each other in confusion, searching for a sign of hope in at least one person’s eyes. Not a single person had confidence in them. The man and his sons in front us on were already saying their prayers, hoping and praying that nothing disastrous would happen. The screams and cries of people were blocked out by a high pitched whistling noise in both my ears, similar to the ones in the movies, except this was real life. The noise hurt my head, like there was a dog whistle that didn’t stop whistling in but in my ears. There was a whoosh of air to which then, the plane was filled with debris and terror. The oxygen masks dropped, but it’s not like anyone actually pays attention to the safety videos. I looked down to see Joshua’s hand holding my hand.
He wasn’t there.
An indescribable feeling rushed through my body, the butterflies I had been experiencing turned into lions, slowly devouring my body and soul, bit by bit.
I let out a blood-curdling scream, it felt as if it was a terrible nightmare, as if I would wake up and it would all be gone. Jayden would be lying down next to me, we would be in our warm beds looking at each other, but this wasn’t a nightmare, just identical to one. From that moment on I knew that the hardest part of this all was to continue living everyday. My worst fear, my worst nightmare, my worst horror had become a reality. A reality I wasn’t ready to continue with; a reality I would never be able to continue with. The emotions associated with losing a child are beyond inexpressible. My most cherished love had been taken away from me, and I would never be able to get him back
again.