Dialectical Journal Short Story

The little girl ran into a wall. This was not an unusual occurrence but it was a painful one and the young child began to cry. Her mother didn’t help her, nor did her father – they were on a business trip to Peru. The wall felt sorry for the girl but (being an inanimate object) there was not much it could do to help so it just sat there. “Poor soul” it whispered, the sound of its voice melting into the waves of the wind, never to be heard again.
The girl (Maasaman Beef) felt hopeless. “There’s no food left in the refrigerator” she wailed in despair. She had looked everywhere for new food to consume – under couch cushions, beside the doormat, in the dog’s food bowl, but even the poor pup had nothing to eat (he had starved to death many days
You can call me Uncle Archie if you like.” The restaurant owner offered. “I don’t want to call you that, but since you have offered I might as well do as you say or else you might assault me” Maasaman Beef casually replied – Uncle Archie was content with her response. “Very good then” he said – and therefore concluded the conversation. However, Uncle Archie (as Masaaman Beef had just recalled) was unaware of typical dialogue customs and continued. “I own a quaint little café just south of the traffic lights called Gerty and Beryl’s Food for the Soul – though the name is not representative of how food is consumed given food is eaten for purposes of the stomach.” Masaaman Beef thought that was quite cute but had no time to tell him that as he continued to divulge information about his personal life. “It is dedicated to my Aunty and her dance partner who mysteriously disappeared a few years ago – I do miss them
Until one day she wasn’t anymore. She was watching television in the kitchen when a news alert interrupted her Monday evening cartoons (if that wasn’t enough for her to chuck her high heels through the space-time continuum) the news alert was even more unusual. The estranged newsreader with a purple wristwatch read off the teleprompt in a squeaky voice – “A young girl has run over a lizard and an elderly citizen with her skateboard today, she is now a wanted criminal. If you see a chubby female with frizzy red hair and slimy skin, don’t approach her but contact quindruple zero at your earliest convenience. Maasaman Beef went to find Uncle Archie to warn him of the imminent danger but Archie had suddenly disappeared and left a note on the window.

“Dear Maasaman Beef,
I’m so very sorry for the last minute notice but my daughter, Hammy has gone missing – I need to go and find her. I don’t know when, or if I’ll be back
Love Uncle Archie”

So it was left up to Maasaman Beef to manage the restaurant and she did. Though occasionally, after closing hours, a stray customer who struggles to read English closing signs could hear her weeping in the cabinets by the door – upset that she might never see Uncle Archie