Elvis Movie Analysis

Elvis is a half-hour comedy about the personal and professional highs and lows of a neurotic drummer and his rock band, as they struggle to make it in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

COMMENTS
The logline and the brief synopsis clearly state the premise of the show. Based on the logline and the synopsis, it has an appealing concept.
One possible tweak: Elvis is a half-hour comedy about the personal and professional highs and lows of a drummer and his band… (vs. just the band).
Find the best and most exciting descriptions to describe Elvis and the band (neurotic, unconventional, etc.). This gives more life to the characters and to the show.
There’s an immediate attraction and connection to the idea of a comedy series about a struggling drummer and band.
It only needs to be said once.
Some one-pitch sheets actually begin with the logline on top. It isn’t necessary to actually have a “heading” (creative choice). Most of what is in in the heading is repeated in the body of the one-sheet. Try not to repeat too much.
The one-page clearly identifies the core characters. Other possible adjectives to describe Elvis might be sensitive, creative, talented, and neurotic. Also, select the best description for each character described.
If the one-sheet includes a pilot summary, then the pilot summary can include the idea of Elvis being dumped (instead of it being included in Elvis’ description. If he’s considered the bandleader, include this to identify him as the central character.
Clarify what Bobby Hall does – is he a band member (what instrument does he play) or is he an agent. Simply put he clashes with his brother Dash.
Then describe Dash. Try to be less wordy: Dash, Bobby’s younger brother and charismatic, overachieving lead singer went from charting…
For Gordy, also streamline description, cutting out “Gordy is” an analogue junky – versus – An analogue junky, who works