Family Stress In I Love Yous Are For White People By Lac Su

Family In Crisis
Stress is inevitable. As “a state of tension [resulting] from the need to respond to change” (Lamanna, 332), all living things must experience stress in response to an ever-changing universe. The species that have survived to present times have done so because of their adaptability to stressors. With higher brain functioning, it is assumed that humans, with a greater capacity for mental and emotional experience, have the potential for much more turmoil than animals with primarily environmental stressors. In the context of a family, the stress of an individual often affects more than just themselves. Family stress can, for a variety of reasons, lead to family crisis. In his powerful memoir, “I Love Yous Are For White People”,
Lac Su’s memoir shows many instances of psychological control as defined by the textbook, such as withdrawal of affection as a form of punishment. While using fear as a parenting tool can be effective, it has been shown to have negative effects on the child, such as a “decreased sense of personal effectiveness” (Lamanna 231). In Lac’s case and many like it, having an emotionally neglectful or abusive environment can leave a child vulnerable to further trauma. Fearful of the rash actions of the father, the family is forced into silence in regards to the sexual abuse Lac experiences from their cousin Crazy. Instead of addressing the problem or offering support, Lac’s mother insists that the entire issue be ignored and swept under the rug, lest the father fly into a rage and murder the cousin. Because of this, it is unlikely that the author ever felt safe and secure for as long as he lived in the same home as either his father or his cousin. Other than the obvious physical neglect of healthcare in favor of less reliable traditional medicine and the withholding of food as punishment, emotional neglect and withdrawal drive the author away from his own culture and into risky and troublesome behavior to fulfill his emotional needs and attain feelings of security. The sense of community that was taken from him upon sudden immigration and the hostile environment of his living situation throughout his childhood, coupled with racial tensions in the area at the time, led the author to settle for several friendships that could be considered toxic. While the knowledge that he might be reprimanded for his actions and choice of friends by his father served to help delay Lac from several poor decisions regarding drugs, violence, and public defacement, a distinct lack of positive reinforcement for good behavior and healthy friendships likely helped guide him towards the dangerous path he would end up following. When his