Gay Parenting: What Really Matters

Julieth Figueredo
Final Essay
Gay Parenting: What Really Matters
Throughout history, Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals (LGB) have not been accepted by the majority of societies, especially by the ones whose strong religious beliefs cannot bear two men or two women as a couple. Homosexuals have always been discriminated against and judged by society. They have been victims of violence and harassment, and their rights have been constantly violated. As a denial to these unceasing mistreatments, homosexuals organized themselves and created the Gay Rights Movement whose main aim is to prohibit discrimination and to have the same rights and privileges that heterosexual people do. These privileges and rights regard adoption. Since same sex couples
are not able to reproduce children, they need to appeal to the adoption system. Unfortunately, in most of the societies, gay parenting is not allowed especially due to the uncertainty about the adopted children’s physiological development. Regrettably, society has not taken into consideration that what is important in the development of a child is not who his/her parents are but how she/he is treated by them. Having said that, these questions come up: Does having same sex parents really affect children’s sexual orientation? Why do heterosexual’s children suffer from the issues that are attributed to children whose parents are same sex couples? Why accept that heterosexual parents mistreat children and deny the chance to a gay couple to give their love to a child?
First of all, one of the main factors that concerns gay parenting is focused on the adopted child.
A considerable number of people assume that same sex couple’s children will become gay as well. According to The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, there is a misunderstanding regarding children’s sexual tendencies who are raised by same sex couples. This professional association ensures that children of gay parents are not more prone to be gay and that there are no dissimilarities in gender identity between heterosexuals and homosexuals’ children. Paradoxically, the fact that many people who are gay were raised by a heterosexual couple clearly contradicts the idea of arguing that same sex couple’s children are going to identify themselves as
homosexual.
Another argument against gay adopting is that children suffer from emotional, behavioral, and psychological issues.
Heterosexual’s children also suffer from these kind of problems. Daily, the news reports on the cases of children who are abused and mistreated by their heterosexual parents. Vincent Iannelli, M.D, a pediatrician who works in the American Academy of Pediatrics stated in his article “child abuse” some statistics that show the reality of children’s abuse. According to Iannelli, 1,500 children die due to parent’s negligence and abuse in the United States, 80% of children have been abused by his mother or his father, and the most common manner of child abuse is neglect, followed by physical, and physiological and sexual abuse. This pediatrician also supports this situation through examples of children who have been abused. For instance, on February 2009, in Janesville, Wisconsin, a three year old girl was abused physically by her mother and her stepfather who were charged with abuse for having hit their child to the point that she required emergency brain surgery. This is just one case from the millions of child abuse cases that there are all around the world. It is not reasonable to give more importance to parent’s sexual orientation, instead of thinking about children’s
wellbeing.
Now, let us take a look at heterosexual parents. A considerable number of heterosexual parents are not the appropriate ones. One of the major issues that concerns parent’s behavior toward children is domestic violence which affects the majority of families and societies. Children are mistreated, intimidated, hit, and even sexually abused by their parents. “Futures Without Violence” is a web site that shows some crude facts that involve the behavior of some parents. According to this web site, children are highly affected by living in a house in which parents violence remains. “Futures Without Violence” shows the results of a Michigan study which concluded that children who have witnessed family violence are more prone to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorders like bed wetting, nightmares, headaches, flues, and allergies among others. Another important find is that children who are exposed to domestic violence are more likely to suffer from serious adult health problems such as tabaco use, obesity, cancer, heart diseases, and drug abuse. These disappointing findings reflect the bad job that many “normal” couples do as parents. Domestic violence may be a consequence of not being prepared for having a child. There are many cases in which a heterosexual’s children come as an accident or as a mistake. The child is the one who has to pay for his parent’s mistakes and the one who suffers the consequences of not being planned by his parents. On the contrary, homosexual couples do plan to have a baby not only because they have to adopt him but because it comes as a feeling and as a necessity to give their love to a child. It does not guarantee that gay parents are not going to mistreat children, but human beings in general value and appreciated more what they have gained with effort and what has been hard to achieve. It is dearness only that gives things their value.
To sum up, the myths about gay couples’ children sexual tendencies are not a valid reason to deny same sex couples the right to adopt a child since studies have shown that children of gay couples are not more likely to become gay than children with heterosexual parents. What’s more, children who are raised by heterosexual parents are mistreated and grow up with physiological, behavioral, and emotional problems which are commonly attributed to children of same sex couples. Finally, domestic violence is an issue lived daily by children of heterosexual parents who end up seriously affected by their parents’ mistreatments. Children are significantly affected by the treatment they receive from their parents no matter if their parents are heterosexual or same sex parents. What society needs to take into account when thinking about gay parenting is the wellbeing of children and take rejection and discrimination against gays away.