The one instance of gender policing that stands out most from my teenage years happened while visiting the beach with my best friend, Richard.
We had known each other for years and were inseparable. We are strolling down the boardwalk, giggling and people-watching, when a group of older guys passed by and yelled, “Which one is the boy and the girl?” Richard was likely used to such taunts by then. He wore his hair long and had already developed a fabulous fashion sense. I, on the other hand, lived in faded concert t-shirts and Doc Martins. I had also just gotten all of my frizzy, troublesome hair shorn off. We blew it off and went on with our day, but it gave me a momentary window into something that Richard battled with every day. While most of the girls appreciated his eyeliner and flamboyance (he never wanted for a formal or prom date), he was continuously jeered at by some of our male
schoolmates. While the time of hunting and gathering has long passed, society still insists on supporting these polarizing standards of masculinity and femininity. At some point, we need to ask ourselves who benefits from these conformities and why we need to perpetuate them.