Glennon Melton's Carry On Warrior
WE ARE WARRIORS
From the moment we were given this assignment, I was terrified. I was terrified of making a fool of myself. My brain would torture me for hours. Filling up with poisonous thoughts. And these thoughts were the constant reminders of the battles I fought. Anxiety. Depression. Fear. Silence. In Glennon Melton’s novel, Carry on Warrior, she emphasizes that maybe “the people who need help sometimes look a lot like the people who don’t need help”.
But I am a warrior.
And maybe you are too but you just don’t realize it yet. Our battles cause us to live in our own worlds that hide us from the real one. They cause us to put on a mask and pretend to be what everyone expects us to be. And to build up our own barriers that shield us from everything until we are able to realize that there is more to life than we know. So here I am today, telling my story with no mask, no pretending, and no hiding.
Two and a half years ago, my life changed. It was the day that I fell apart. And the day that my mom’s life choices began to affect me. I automatically didn’t know what to feel or how to react. So I ended up isolating myself from all the negativity in my life. I started living in my own safe enclosed world where …show more content…
there was only me and all the things I wanted to say but didn’t. I was too scared and weak to ask for help.
Because we don't feel safe telling the truth in the real world, we spend all our time building walls to protect ourselves from the truth and the shame we hide.
We think these protective walls will shield us from the broken world but they only prevent us from knowing our full potential. And I didn’t know that these walls were false perceptions of security. So I would numb and hide my feelings. And I was silent. But I thought living in my own ideal world meant that I could escape dealing with my problems. It was a world that made sense to me. So I spent years living on the other side of my built up walls of loneliness, fear, and anxiety. And no matter how hard I tried to break through these walls, I didn’t have the strength to escape. I was
trapped.
Not long after, my anxiety started to take control of my life. This is when my confidence shattered. When anxiety robbed me of my personality. And when it robbed me of my identity. The tiny powerful voices inside my head continued to haunt me until I broke. So every time I tried to conquer my fear of presenting, they would convince me that I’m wasn’t capable of doing the things I desire. And then I began to feel lost. So I can say from experience that these voices try to break you down. They try to make you weak. They try to rob your happiness. And worse of all, I let them.
So I created my own armour.
My armour was running from my problems. And it shielded me from feeling anything at all. I thought that all my problems would just deflect off my armour. And that they would protect me from the reality of the real world. So everyday I would hope that my armor would defend me from the outside world. I would hide what I was ashamed of when I really should have been embracing it because it makes me a stronger person. But I wasn’t my own person. I was pretending to be what everyone expected me to be.
So I was living a life full of lies. But I wanted to be free. I wanted to be happy. I just wanted to live in a world where I no longer have to hide my shame. Hide my past. And where I am able to just live. So I got tired of living a life full of shame and I decided to refuse to let the voices control my life. And I refused to bring myself down. So I decided to step out into the real world. And here I am.
So everyone has a story to tell. All of the times the voices in our heads try to control us, we need to remember that they cannot defeat us. And sometimes we just have to step out of our own hidden worlds of darkness into the real world to realize that maybe life is good without all the built up walls. So here we stand, with the power of our lives in our own hands in hopes that someday we will realize that we are warriors. Thank you.
From the moment we were given this assignment, I was terrified. I was terrified of making a fool of myself. My brain would torture me for hours. Filling up with poisonous thoughts. And these thoughts were the constant reminders of the battles I fought. Anxiety. Depression. Fear. Silence. In Glennon Melton’s novel, Carry on Warrior, she emphasizes that maybe “the people who need help sometimes look a lot like the people who don’t need help”.
But I am a warrior.
And maybe you are too but you just don’t realize it yet. Our battles cause us to live in our own worlds that hide us from the real one. They cause us to put on a mask and pretend to be what everyone expects us to be. And to build up our own barriers that shield us from everything until we are able to realize that there is more to life than we know. So here I am today, telling my story with no mask, no pretending, and no hiding.
Two and a half years ago, my life changed. It was the day that I fell apart. And the day that my mom’s life choices began to affect me. I automatically didn’t know what to feel or how to react. So I ended up isolating myself from all the negativity in my life. I started living in my own safe enclosed world where …show more content…
there was only me and all the things I wanted to say but didn’t. I was too scared and weak to ask for help.
Because we don't feel safe telling the truth in the real world, we spend all our time building walls to protect ourselves from the truth and the shame we hide.
We think these protective walls will shield us from the broken world but they only prevent us from knowing our full potential. And I didn’t know that these walls were false perceptions of security. So I would numb and hide my feelings. And I was silent. But I thought living in my own ideal world meant that I could escape dealing with my problems. It was a world that made sense to me. So I spent years living on the other side of my built up walls of loneliness, fear, and anxiety. And no matter how hard I tried to break through these walls, I didn’t have the strength to escape. I was
trapped.
Not long after, my anxiety started to take control of my life. This is when my confidence shattered. When anxiety robbed me of my personality. And when it robbed me of my identity. The tiny powerful voices inside my head continued to haunt me until I broke. So every time I tried to conquer my fear of presenting, they would convince me that I’m wasn’t capable of doing the things I desire. And then I began to feel lost. So I can say from experience that these voices try to break you down. They try to make you weak. They try to rob your happiness. And worse of all, I let them.
So I created my own armour.
My armour was running from my problems. And it shielded me from feeling anything at all. I thought that all my problems would just deflect off my armour. And that they would protect me from the reality of the real world. So everyday I would hope that my armor would defend me from the outside world. I would hide what I was ashamed of when I really should have been embracing it because it makes me a stronger person. But I wasn’t my own person. I was pretending to be what everyone expected me to be.
So I was living a life full of lies. But I wanted to be free. I wanted to be happy. I just wanted to live in a world where I no longer have to hide my shame. Hide my past. And where I am able to just live. So I got tired of living a life full of shame and I decided to refuse to let the voices control my life. And I refused to bring myself down. So I decided to step out into the real world. And here I am.
So everyone has a story to tell. All of the times the voices in our heads try to control us, we need to remember that they cannot defeat us. And sometimes we just have to step out of our own hidden worlds of darkness into the real world to realize that maybe life is good without all the built up walls. So here we stand, with the power of our lives in our own hands in hopes that someday we will realize that we are warriors. Thank you.