Good And Weak Thesis Statement
Good and Weak Thesis Statements
There is really no wrong way to write a thesis statement, you either have a good or a weak thesis. I am going to explain four weak thesis statements I was given, then tell you what was weak about them and how to make it better. A weak thesis fails to take a stand and not be specific towards the topic. Just making an observation or an overly broad claim will not work. A good thesis is ideas that answers a question, it usually starts with an observation that is something you want to figure out rather than something that you think you already understand. It should also indicate the point and justify the topic. The first sentence was “I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in
the origin of species”. This statement is weak because you should never start it by saying I am going to write about. An other reason is the sentence makes no claim and doesn’t raise specific issues to explore. A good way to rewrite this sentence would be “Darwin’s concerns of the origin of species leads him to leave out a conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution as a matter of interdependence.” I think this thesis statement is a good example of a sentence that makes a claim. The second sentence I was given was “The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.” This statement doesn’t explain what the industry is targeting its just a bold and obvious statement. It’s a weak one and it could be fixed by a question about the facts, raising an issue would work, or even making an assertion which would be possible for readers to disagree. A good way to fix it would be “ By inventing new terms like boot cut, relaxed fit, and skinny jeans, the industry tried to make them normal for our older consumers. Now this third sentence I thought was the best out of the four, but was still a little weak. The sentence was “An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others points of view.” The reason I think it’s a little weak is because it needs than one point of view in the subject. This is also what I would refer as conventional wisdom. This should be avoided unless you can qualify it or introduce a few perspectives on it. Here is a way I think it can be fixed just keeping the original sentence just adding little more. “An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others points of view, the danger is that students will be required to switch the teacher’s answers for the ones they were previously taught. The last sentence given was ”Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results for man.” One obvious reason this sentence is weak is because saying the have positive and negative results is just to vague. You should be able to identify specific positive and negatives as well as give examples. Here is one I found would be a good way to fix this statement “Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it. Its hard to write a good thesis statements. By explaining these four sentences I was given these are some ways I think you can change weak thesis statements to good ones. Some fast and simple rules I learned to a good thesis are that they are ideas that answers a question, an observation that is something you want to figure out, indicate the point, and justify the topic. By remembering these few rules before and after your read your thesis could make all the difference whether your thesis statement is going to be good or weak.
There is really no wrong way to write a thesis statement, you either have a good or a weak thesis. I am going to explain four weak thesis statements I was given, then tell you what was weak about them and how to make it better. A weak thesis fails to take a stand and not be specific towards the topic. Just making an observation or an overly broad claim will not work. A good thesis is ideas that answers a question, it usually starts with an observation that is something you want to figure out rather than something that you think you already understand. It should also indicate the point and justify the topic. The first sentence was “I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in
the origin of species”. This statement is weak because you should never start it by saying I am going to write about. An other reason is the sentence makes no claim and doesn’t raise specific issues to explore. A good way to rewrite this sentence would be “Darwin’s concerns of the origin of species leads him to leave out a conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution as a matter of interdependence.” I think this thesis statement is a good example of a sentence that makes a claim. The second sentence I was given was “The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.” This statement doesn’t explain what the industry is targeting its just a bold and obvious statement. It’s a weak one and it could be fixed by a question about the facts, raising an issue would work, or even making an assertion which would be possible for readers to disagree. A good way to fix it would be “ By inventing new terms like boot cut, relaxed fit, and skinny jeans, the industry tried to make them normal for our older consumers. Now this third sentence I thought was the best out of the four, but was still a little weak. The sentence was “An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others points of view.” The reason I think it’s a little weak is because it needs than one point of view in the subject. This is also what I would refer as conventional wisdom. This should be avoided unless you can qualify it or introduce a few perspectives on it. Here is a way I think it can be fixed just keeping the original sentence just adding little more. “An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others points of view, the danger is that students will be required to switch the teacher’s answers for the ones they were previously taught. The last sentence given was ”Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results for man.” One obvious reason this sentence is weak is because saying the have positive and negative results is just to vague. You should be able to identify specific positive and negatives as well as give examples. Here is one I found would be a good way to fix this statement “Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it. Its hard to write a good thesis statements. By explaining these four sentences I was given these are some ways I think you can change weak thesis statements to good ones. Some fast and simple rules I learned to a good thesis are that they are ideas that answers a question, an observation that is something you want to figure out, indicate the point, and justify the topic. By remembering these few rules before and after your read your thesis could make all the difference whether your thesis statement is going to be good or weak.